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Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
I want to get off this train
that drives me to and from my pain
It's a ride that lasts a life time
and you won't get off alive.

I miss the days I didn't fight this way
crying for the days I didn't run away
the days where the sun did shine
and my life was fine.

I'm a drama flick that runs forever
a heart as light as a feather
but my hearts not whats at steak
it's my brain that makes these mistakes.

One minute I feel alright
the next I can't survive the night
I'm holding on by my finger tips
God forbid my grip may slip.

Where I fall right into my grave
and become the broken teen never saved
the young one lost so soon
it's a cry for help of adolescent doom.

No I'm just sick of the black and the white
there's no grey left in sight
no in between for the likes of us
so why not give up?

Why do I even try
when I really rather die
maybe I'm just a *******
and live for the pain I suffer from as I exist.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
I asked myself,
why am I proud of being a Human being?
For a while I didn't know
I could only think of all the wrong I'm seeing
painted in blood on the ivory snow.

I thought to myself,
humans are weak and afraid of the truth,
we hurt others to appease ourselves.
People use lies in place of solid proof,
for golden trophy's placed on their shelves.

I watched
as people laughed and hurt one another
for something as invaluable as fame.
And as I did I felt guilty
to be apart of a race put to shame.

I watched
as bravery was described as a man behind a gun
killing in the name of "peace"
I saw people hating and judging for fun
because that was what looked good at the time.

I saw death
on the news, in the papers, on the streets
and cried as the blood was spilled
I watched people fighting one another
for a position so irrelevant being filled.

I watched gangs go to war
because he's black and he's white
I saw people excluding one another
because she prefers dark while she prefers light.

But when I flipped to the next page
I saw that they held out their hand
to people in need
They gave their knowledge to those who didn't understand
and take in those that they feed.

I saw a smile in the crowd
when hope was not in sight
and I saw a warring man
put down his gun in that fight.

I watched them build a neighbor's house
when the going got tough
I saw them lend a shoulder
when the days got to rough.

I saw another man preach
when we needed a change
and I saw another one accept
when the other was strange.

We'll never be utopia
no but we can try to be
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
My blood runs across my flesh
He's here again
here to take me away.

The halls are dark,
and the moon washes in pale light across the floor
My tears don't fall this time,
I am not afraid.

His black wings caress the plush white carpet
stained by my life essence,
and his eyes are filled with such hate
and the blood of his innocent victims
the candles on the window pane burst to life
and the wind whispers across my damp skin.

I raise my shaking hand towards him
begging for him to end the pain,
as crimson liquid spills from my severed veins
they hit the ground and turn to black.

His eyes watch me in curiosity
but his lips curl in a knowing grin
he lifts one hand and shakes one long bony finger,

"You have one chance little one," he whispers

But I've gone too far to look back
I turn to the window,
and watch the white curtains billowing in the icy wind.

"I'm ready," I whisper.

The white curtains touch the tips of the flame
and roar into a hungry sea of fire

"There is no forgiveness once you cross the line,"

I stare at the flames as they bend and flicker
as if they're dancing
taunting me.

My mind was already made.

"There has never been forgiveness for me, my soul belongs to you,"

And as soon as the last word drops from the tip of my tongue
I'm engulfed in the flames.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
Rain pelts the sidewalk before me
cleaning away the past,
swept away like broken glass
leaving it empty.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
This is just another fight
we refuse to back down from,
another stain of blood
on the ground before our feet.

This is just another war
we won't give up
another ******* contest
of whose the best.

This is just another scar
slashed across flesh
or embedded in our minds
no one can see them but they're there.

This is just another tear
we refuse to let fall
because we're too proud
to look so weak.

This is just another disappointment
that builds in the corner
where there lies all the
forgotten promises.

This is just another example
of the world we live in
where hate comes more often
than love.
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
Decaying inside
I'm rotting away
In this solemn hour
I peel away

Redeem my aching soul
for I'm soon to meet my end
I feel it there
just around the bend.

This beast inside of me
clawing to get out of this cage
is foaming at the mouth
in all it's pent up rage.

Decaying inside
I'm rotting away
In this solemn hour
I peel away

I send out a prayer
lost among the roar of gun fire
these dark wishes cloud my mind
breaking free are my darkest desires

I cry out in pain as I am morphing
insanity is all that is left behind
and I have not one clear thought
in my overdrawn mind.

Decaying inside
I'm rotting away
In this solemn hour
I peel away
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
She walks between both worlds
She is life and she is death
She shines with a radiance that blinds
She is dark and she is light
She is our savior as the blood we taint
runs through her veins.

She is the moon and the sun
that rains it's benevolence upon our rusted souls
and she is the prayer that countless may whisper
to arrange us into wholes.

She speaks of wisdom,
as the crown placed upon her head,
which spills of silken spirals,
declares her our leader
and we will follow her through the evil.

She is our hope,
for we have lost it all
along the bloodied battle field.

And if my flesh may bleed
I dare bleed for her,
and if my life is stolen,
I dare grant it to her.

For every breath I draw
is a promise of my loyalty.

I will walk these plains
with open eyes
and walk this Earth
in silence

For I will never speak her name,
and she will never ask that I do.
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