I watch the blood drip on to the cool tile
Watch it pool as my brain numbly
Focuses on the throbbing in my arm
I was so strong for so long
And then you knocked all my efforts over
And that's what urged my hand to wrap around
The cool orange bottle
I didn't know what was inside
But i twisted the cap off
Look inside at the long white pills
A tear slid down my face
Being human was my greatest weakness
I want to swallow them all
I want to tear my wrist open and let it bleed out
I just want it to end
But one face in the angry mob i'm surrounded by
One face stops me
One that held on for me
Gives me the strength to put the cap back on
Gives me the will to stumble to my room
Close my eyes, and write it down

Small birds chatter together
As I watch with a keen eye
I wonder what it's like to fly

I lay in the shadows once again
Where I laid before when
My heart was cloaked in darkness,
which it had shed
Until the darkness crept in again
No such love for someone like me
Someone so foolish who refuses to see
That alone is where I will be
Cloaked in my black robe
Knitted with the tears I shed for a damaged heart
One so shattered and torn apart
It beats nevermore
Thump thump thump a distant echo
In my memory
Now is ringing with silence
And to believe I was saved
Oh a fool I can be
To think any god would waste time with me

Watching you leave
Left me crumpled
Broken and so alone
Your in my viens
And its like ice
Nothing stays the same
Nothing last forever
Wishing and praying doesn't help
Not when the bitter taste of tears
Scar my tounge with their salty revenge
What's left for me?  
What's  left to breathe?  
When you were the air that kept me breathing
Kept me seeing
Your running through me
Never leaving my head
The record spinning , so numb  and dead
Theres no comfort in my bed
There's no escape in the dark
No way to avoid facing it all
It sinks into my skin
Leaving me shaking
Fighting to remember to breathe
And when the sleep does come
The pain that fled for a blur of what seems like seconds
Flood back inside in the day
I cant keep you out
You're like a plauge
Whats left of my shattered heart
But the worst pain of all is you don't even care

My porcelain heart
Is broken again
I glue the parts
And hold it in
The hurt the tears
and all the pain
The roaring storming
That begins to rain
The things that make you so right
And the things that make you so wrong
The stupid things we chose to fight
And one beating heart that made us so strong
But thats thrown away not spared a glance behind
Its thrown far into the waves, and left me dying inside

Sometimes I want to wake up from dreaming
And see that I'm still here
I want to keep on breathing
Open my eyes and have the world be clear
I want the pain to go away
And the world to be right
I want the happiness to stay
And give up the fight
Sometimes I see it in a bottle of pills
Takes my whole being just to quit
Knowing after a handful too many will ****
And my mom will take the hardest hit
I just have to be strong if not for me for them
I've got to pull through and be the strongest I've ever been

Sometimes I find myself waiting
Waiting for the old times
The good times, to come back
Im stuck here in slow motion
Surronded by this constant commotion
Sometimes I break and I have no strength left
No im flooded by the pain
Left to fight this war by myself
I don't know who I am
I barely know whats real
I barely feel