The door was locked
I knew the key was in the old clock
Twist the key
And push the door open
There was the black beauty
Each footsteps like a note
Lift my fingers to white and black keys
Push away the dust
I sit before her
And let my fingers lead me
Each note takes away the pain
Drains it from my veins
I fall in love with the melody
Filling the room
Filling my soul
Taking my tears
Making me whole
Uncovering me
Letting me show
But I'm not embarrassed
I revel in it
Breath it in
Drink in the light
Let the happiness fill me
To my bones
And come to an end
Breathing heavy
I lean my head against her soft black paint
Then leave
Glancing over my shoulder
Before I shut the door
And lock it

I'm not desperate for the touch...
I'm desperate for the love
For the embrace
Instead I'm alone
With myself
Lonely
Sometimes I cry
And I feel pathetic
To cry over such unimportant things
Yet they effect me
I miss the warmth
My blood has gone cold
But I'm so scared
My heart is so bruised
Scarred and patched
I don't think it could ever endure
Anther heart break
But I just want to be held
I want to love as much as be loved
But before I can open my heart to another
I have to come to love myself
To trust myself
My lonely days will go on
For now
Until I can love
Without tears
Without heartache
Those are the days I look forward to

Stars around a bright moon
The bite in the air tells me
Winters here..
The old friend I miss on summer days
The forget when I'm lacking sun rays
The pure white of the snow
Sings to me
I remember ...
The swing set
All the kids laughing
But I just swing to my heart beat
Back then forth
Cold wind splashing my face
Thinking thinking
Always thinking
Even as I grew older
I was stuck in my own mind
With simply my thoughts
Always thinking
Always analyzing
And though it is a gift
It is also a curse
Haunting me
Making me see things I rather not see
Making me believe
Does happiness make knowledge ?
One could never say
Because for something's
I'd rather not see
I'd rather not believe
I'd rather not know
Could darkness leave room to smile?
Or would I just be blinded and lost?
Or is the light the right place to be?
I can't know the answer!
I've spent night day
Day and night
Thinking , analyzing, searching!
For some piece of evidence
But none exist for my eyes too look upon
Heartless with a mind!
Or mindless with a heart?
I could never say
It quarrels  with me  
I get within

I am aware that I am scared
But I don't know where I am
I'm just wandering there
In the dark of the forest
So large and open
So.... Quite
But something tugs at me
Telling me that I should go
But I can't will myself to turn back ...
Not yet
What is it I'm looking for?
I don't know
I can only feel my beating heart
Hear the snapping of twigs
And debris under my bare
And dirtied feet
I can feel
That I'm being watched....
Maybe even ... Studied?
I'm not sure
Only that I am growing
Terribly anxious
Like something will go wrong
But even as I think the words
I feel the claws break
Into my flesh
I let out a scream
The white hot pain
Searing through my back
Leaves me nauseous  
And so vulnerable
All I can bare to do
Is bring my quaking legs to my chest
Rest my head on the forest floor
And lay in the shredded aftermath
Of shock

Yes I'm alone when I cry
Yes I always hold it inside
And yes I wish I could hide
Because all your words killed me
and now I have died

Breath it in
Reflect on my sins
Let me reach inside my soul
Tell me what you find
I don't know

Call my name
I'm not ashamed
Hold me tight
Just for tonight
I won't be shy
Just ask me why
I cry

I can walk in the dark
I always have
I can find peace  In this house
Of nightmares
And ****** screams of scare
Holding onto the slivers
Of reality that remain mine for now
I can't let go
If I do
I will be in the dark simply
Wandering
No meaning
Just another lost soul