I have spent my life being silent
Sometimes I'd break down and get a little violent
But I'm tired of your words
All your 'ya I already heards'
I've been shouting at the top of my lungs
My lyrics haven't been sung
Won't listen to me please ?
Just me ! Just me!
This is unjust ! Unfair!
That you think you can school me because you've been there
Stop! Just let me speak
I am not this weak
Thing you've made of me
If you opened your eyes you'd see
That I am no phony!
I've been standing on this stage
But the curtains are always drawn
I've been waiting for my dawn
That I would be heard
I hate you!
You have never listened
I hate you !
You don't ******* care!
I hate you !
I wish you dead!
I hate you!
I wish i wasn't here
You ruin everything in my life
You cause my head aches and my strife
You know nothing of me anymore
I hate you, you worthless *****!
You said you would protect me !
You said you'd never hurt me !
But it's you whose slowly killed me !
we are family!
You always take they're side
You just run away and hide
Even after I defended you?
Ha I thought you'd do the same too
I guess I was asking to much
I'm not worth your prescious time
So I guess you can go your way
And I will go mine

Blue rose
Deliver love to me
Deliver prosperity
I just need a sense of accomplishment
I've been trying to swim in cement
Stuck
But still trying
Bring me love
So I can feel whole again
Fix my heart
I'm tired of being apart
On the floor
Forgotten
Pull me up by my heart strings
Give me a melody to sing
I just need a reason
To raise my head
And feel
Fed
By


Loves passionate touch

The walls are spinning
Spinning! Spinning!
The staues are grinning
Grinning! Grinning!
Left high off this atmosphere
The looming staircase leering
Down at me
It's becoming harder to see
Faintly remember falling
Through the floor
Into an open door
Where I landed in a store
Ceilings made of mirrors
Reflect my past terrors
The shelves are empty
Kind of like me
I'm dashing to find the exit
But I can't find it!
I need out!
I need to shout
Push my way through my own skin
Escape all of my sins
I'm diffident in my body
Somebody just stop me
I'm speeding
Faster than light
And
I
Just
         Might .......


Crash

I come home to get away from the hate
Get slapped for being two minutes late
Look for the mother I used to know,
When had I become so slow?
She doesn't love me
She hates me
With the rest of the world
The people who claim
To love me the same
All lies!
Frauds!
You don't love me!
You only use me
Because I'm the only one left
Because she left
You rather it was her in the picture frame
You wish you could be saying her name
Yeah I guess I'm better off dead
No one would miss me anyway
It would just be another day

Four years old
Christmas day
Dressed up with braids
Streaming down my back
Wait in the chairs
With an eager grin
In place
Mommy says wait here
My angel she is
But mommy comes back
With tears in her eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
I want to see him
My daddy
Where is he?
Mommy only grabs me
And clutches me to her chest
Whispers 'baby I'll try my best'
I don't understand
Untill now
He never came
He probably doesn't remember my name
I'm just another girl
With a worthless father
Who doesn't care
Who will never be there
And I'm not okay with that
All those days that I sat
Waiting for a hero
Who never existed
Was it me who insisted?
That we be one big family?
My tears were wasted
On a man not brave enough
To stand
He sent my world sinking
On land....
It doesn't matter
I was never his
Only my mothers
Who was braver than any soldier
Fought wars on her own
Beat the world
At the worst odds
She was my god
I look up farther than anyone
To my mom
I will love her no matter what
Because she did
She gave me her all
Picked me up when I would fall
Walked me through this crowded hall
Cleared the broken pieces of my heart
To be sure I was never cut
I love you ...
Never leave me

Blink away the tears
Focus on the mirror
Look into my eyes
Rummage through the tossed away lies
To find
That in the mess there was a kind
Of letter closed away
From me, not meant to stay
Smooth it out and read amongst the lines
Deep breaths will keep me fine
Why?
Is it me?
You desert?