Katlyn Orthman

Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012

Missing you when I am the one
Who banished you
From my life
In your looks
There isn't anything to special
But it is not your face or body
That draws me to you
It's the tug of your heart to mine
For some unfounded reason
It's you I always glance back at
And I know you have the worst habits
But we are young
There's room for mistakes to be made
So we can grow
But I feel as though if I confess
I might just make a mess
Of these stitches we finally managed to sew
If I tell you my secrets
Will you take me in your arms?
Or will you cast me away?
This deliema has me restless
When I see you
I avert my eyes
Because you can always read what lies behind
The green walls to my soul
Maybe I was to scared and to young
Before
But now ... I just want to know
That I didn't leave your mind so soon
Possibly .... That when you claimed
You .... Loved me
You ment it
I was scared back beneath my covers
By that four letter word
I've seen , I've felt it used to betray
Used to hurt
My bruised heart
Beats with a ragged thump
Do dare I risk the last pulse on you?

Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012

Must I Beg The Gods That Turn Their Head

I have walked with this smile in place
But beneath the surface ,
I I'm burning in my hellish inferno
I'm tortured by memories
I'm tortured by the faint touch
In every corner of my mind lays a monster
I'm trapped in a house of nightmares
There's no escape ....
I can't breath when phantom hands
Are wrapped around my neck
And yet while I lay here dying
I'm forced to stay alive
And yet I Kay here crying
My tears I'm forced to hide....
I've been strong enough
My arms are growing tired
I rather let go
But I'm chained and barred down
The clouds are out if my reach
This razor blade ...
Is my only release
Pain let's me know I'm real
And that this isn't another dream
Growing up to fast
Dying to slow
The sun doesn't rise in my world
And evil never dies
I'm stuck behind the bars
Of a prison
That I am trapped
Lights are in the sky
They bid me goodbye
I am alone ...
To wave goodbye

Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012

Burnt Bridges

I've been lifeless lately
Time rushing past
I've been slow motion lately
Can't remember what I did last
The airs cold against my tears
I have been running so long
I have hid from these fears
It was so wrong

Burnt bridges all around
Glass is breaking through the sound
This pain is taking over me
Im falling to the ground
Please take my hand save me
I've been no good but maybe
You could change me
Maybe it's you that I need

a dove in my window Payne
They said it was a chance of sun
But my sky is full of rain
and I feel like I'm done
The lights flicker to black
My head is spinning
I need to take you back
All this hurt it's been bringing
I cried all I could
And I seen this day coming
I just wished it never would
And now I'm lost again

Burnt bridges all around
Glass is breaking through the sound
This pain is taking over me
I'm falling to the ground
Please take my hand, save me
I've been no good but maybe
You could change me
Maybe it's you that I need

And if only you could see
That this light burns inside me
I'm shining in the shadows
Its like it's never mattered
But I just want to light your way
Even if that path is out of "our" days
I just need to know that we
Were something to keep
Even if it's not me that you seek

Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012

Not whole

They pick me up
They show me friendship
You try so hard to be everything
You think you should be
But by the end of the night
You lay cold in bed
You gave all you could give
Your alive but you feel like you've never lived
You pay for every breath
You pay for every tear
Can you bear the ruthless
Realization that your not as strong
As your heart screams you need to be
Maybe you should give it all up
And be free

Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012

Locked away inside myself

Rain beats against the glass
It's been hours since I've seen you last
You left and you had slammed the door
I cried my tears until there were no more
We've fought for an entire weak
Screamed until it hurt to speak
And now I'm leaning against the wall
My tears flood my face, I could fall
I hate that you haven't called at all
It's me locked away in a bathroom stall
Just to hide my radiating pain
That has left this black stain
I wish you'd just come home
So I didn't have to feel so alone
In a way I feel rejected by you
Like I'm infected and you're the flu
But there's no prescription for how I feel
And my emotional description doesn't seem real
But if I just lock the cell inside of me
Maybe all these years of pain you'll never see

Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012

House of screams

Shadows linger on the white carpet
In the night it hid the blood
That slipped from a cut throat
And seeped out from the side
The stench of her draining life
Filled the dreary room
And walls that used to hold memories
Have been wiped blank
The open window
Lets in the breeze
To bad they muffled her screams
Death remains a permanent stain
On the face of the house
Once happy with pastel walls
Now... Dark and gloomy
The paint runs off the walls
A mourning dove perched on her couch
Cries tears of blood
The crows will soon pick her flesh
And then there will be nothing left

Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012

Ruby

Sleek black fur
White boot paws
One strip of white
On her soft black nose
Full fat belly
Of a curious baby
Long white whiskers
Full of milk
Popping green eyes
That make me coo

Got a black and white kitten :) she's adorable
I decided I'd give cats a try