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Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Frozen dreams 
Words echo in my ears distantly 
Can't be afraid of the dark 
Promises old and broken 
Lay in the shadows 
Jails hold me 
In my head 
The bars are so cold 
I freeze my hands 
Please these nightmares 
Let me go 
I've been here to long 
I became your home 
Drowning in past tears 
Judgements gate  leers 
at me with those angry eyes 
Let me untangle from these lies 
I'm innocent, not guilty 
Not to be blamed 
Yet I'm still ashamed 
I could've hid better  
This is my fault 
Locked in this vault 
I'm scared but have no fear 
I don't understand 
My own feelings 
I can't take back my past 
Every moment might be my last 
I should live 
But I'm not Alive 
I probably won't survive 
But I can never die 
This whole life scene is a lie 
And to say that I'm confused 
I really wonder why
Can't think of a name
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Goodbye soft air
Goodbye mother tree
Remember my prayer
Remember me
The sky's arms
Will hug me tight
I won't be scared
When I leave tonight
I've lived a lifetime
Full of sadness and pain
Full of laughter and love
And there lies no shame
I am tired
So tonight I sleep
Rest my head on this pillow
And fall in deep
Goodnight bright stars
Above my head
Do not cry
Keep the tears unshed
There's no sadness in my heart
Please I've woven theses
Small piece together
That had fallen apart
Goodnight goodbye
Rest my soul tonight
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Falling leaves
Dying trees
In a blink of an eye

Cold nights
Frostbite
The monstrous winds not shy

Walk on this empty road
Be alert, I was told
The one who walk with blind eyes
Is lead by his heart

The one who walks
With no direction
And simply wanders
Is not lost, he may stumble upon
The right way

The one who walks on
Another's path
Is lost

October leaves
Cancerous trees
And cold nights
Of frostbite
Kind of confusing I apologize for that
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Oh my heart wails for you
all that you've been through
rest child, I beg you please
these wretched shadows tease

Hold on child the darkness fades
into the light morning shades
surely your father will be back soon
oh my is it noon?

you must not cry
these men must tell lies
he couldn't! couldn't have died

oh, the world goes on
the days grow long
the bottle of whiskey you have is empty
all because he died, on friday the thirteenth

close your eyes imagine him there
do not fret, he's right there
dad could not have died
they must've lied
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
My eye’s so drenched in my evident pain,
Cry! Cry I do
My heart shakes with my sobs
How? How can you relate
If I try so hard
But you do not care
You are only here to break me
Farther apart
Split me
I am but a lowly servant
To this castle of heartache
Where one will not leave unscathed
My hands grip the table for support
I have seen one to many
Crumble like the old stone out back
I must stay strong with only my shoulders
To hold this, wait!
I can be strong
I must be! I must
Or I will fail myself  
To be swept out in the current
So unforgiving
Swinging me so violently around
As you have done
My heart unbelieving
My ears I thought deceiving
But no the truth before my unseeing eyes
Oh I wished were lies
Take me away
Please I beg
My soul can not bare much more
Of these harsh cynical words
I try I truly do
Why oh why am I at blame
At the bottom of your shoe
When it meets the pavement
Crushed and forgotten
Like a memory wiped away
Like chalk on a chalk bored
All that is left
Is the smeared image
Blurred, of who I used  to be
Erased forgotten
In the rear view mirror
The chilling realness of it
Leaves me in utter despair
Belated emotion
Running their cold hands
Down my back
These tears seem fresh
But they had only burrowed inside me
I cannot hold on
I fall to my knees
How? How have I gone on
Knowing you have been untrue
You did not love me
You did not believe
You took from me
You hurt me
I am not here for entertainment
So I shall leave
Just as one before me had
Just as I had picked you up
From the dust beneath your feet
I am a slave in your steel grip
No longer will I sit by
And lower my head
I will stand and raise my chin
Instead, I am no weak child
I am strong and mild
So beneath this moonlight
I will leave
With no goodbye
Do not search
I am not here
I have left
I will never come back
I am not so easily persuade
As you stand in the door
And yell
You cry
But this act is over
Draw the curtains
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Passing of time
Another year
Older this day
The signs are here
Im happy yet sad
Because of my growing age
This is bad
Like I'm on a stage
Everyone expects a show
Expecting magical tricks for me to grow
But I feel the same no older then yesterday
It's driving me insane
This constant responsibility
I'm a teenager for Godsake
Don't spoil it now!
I'm not an adult
Just leave me be
Before I'm cast into the retched society
Reality *****
It was my birthday today :)
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Hills on top of fathomless hills  
Where I have built my home
I walked here through the driest desserts
Swam here through the deepest seas
Hiked here through blizzards on mountains
A little piece taken each moment  
Until I reached these hills
At top the rise of the earth
I look out at the universe
I can look out and say
I have been here
I have left my mark
Where it is the most important
I can look at the people building
Their  homes and dreams and goals
And know they to will stand about
Their own hill, they will know that they
Made a difference in the world
Just by breathing the air
By making one laugh
And with that I may stray to the Mothers
Arms
And be sound , knowing I did my part
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