When I looked at you and felt nothing
I went home and cried,
Not because I was heartbroken but because I wasn't anymore.
My mind had been stuck on you like static electricity
Because that's what we had.
I'm relieved I feel nothing anymore because for a long time
I felt like my heart was on fire,
And not the beautiful kind that keeps you warm
But the horrifying kind, burning and scarring me for good.
That's what you did. I'm not the same.
For a while I was perpetually sad,
My sadness grew until I knew nothing but.
All I was to you was another freshman ****.
But to me I was beautiful and funny and happy.
I'm not happy now. But are you?
Do you go home at night and sleep soundly in your bed?
Because I don't.
I cry and shake and scream at the thought of losing myself to the idea of something I could not even comprehend - I was just a little girl.
Sure I was in high school but you should have known better.
You left me hurt on the side of the road with a gun in my hand.
Waiting for me to pull the trigger and believe me when I say that I
Would have taken a bullet for you and boy did I try.
I squeezed that trigger with everything I had
But it wouldn't move.
The only thing that moved were the thoughts in my brain of how much I loved you at that very moment and
How much you changed me.
I can't even remember my last name anymore because
All I know is your phone number on my cell phone screen.
You don't even deserve the words I'm putting into this because you're probably getting head for the fifth time today from your girlfriend.