I was walking down
The gravel of the school,
Suddenly I felt,
Like a shadow was behind me,
Staring, looking, waiting.


I hoped it was him.
I wanted it to be him.
I wanted to believe it was him.
I hoped and prayed it was him.
Even if there was a chance it wasn’t.


I wanted it to be so badly.
I wanted to take back my words.
Tell him that I loved him,
That age didn’t matter.

 
Tell him that,
He didn’t have to be with her,
That I was there,
For him.

 
Tell him we could change the world,
Break the rules,
Make a difference.
Tell him that it was me he wanted,
And I knew.

 
Tell him that I could finally,
Have the happy ever after,
That I always wanted.
That nothing could stop us.
 

I wanted him to know,
That we can have,
Everything we wanted,
That life wasn’t something to hate.
 

I wanted to tell him,
That I would die happy,
If took my hand,
And held onto it,
Until it was my end.

 
I wanted him to know,
That I loved him,
And I wanted to know,
If he felt the same.


I wanted,
My life to take a turn,
Be what it should be,
Be what I wished.


I wanted,
To wrap my arms around him,
And hold on,
Till death did us apart.

 
I wanted him to know,
That we can.
I kept praying,
Not letting the negative in,
Keeping my hopes up,
Then I turned around.

 
There was no one.

O
          Out of a bed of love
When that immortal hospital made one more moove to soothe
          The curless counted body,
               And ruin and his causes
Over the barbed and shooting sea assumed an army
          And swept into our wounds and houses,
I climb to greet the war in which I have no heart but only
          That one dark I owe my light,
Call for confessor and wiser mirror but there is none
          To glow after the god stoning night
And I am struck as lonely as a holy marker by the sun.

                              No
          Praise that the spring time is all
Gabriel and radiant shrubbery as the morning grows joyful
               Out of the woebegone pyre
And the multitude's sultry tear turns cool on the weeping wall,
          My arising prodgidal
Sun the father his quiver full of the infants of pure fire,
          But blessed be hail and upheaval
That uncalm still it is sure alone to stand and sing
          Alone in the husk of man's home
And the mother and toppling house of the holy spring,
          If only for a last time.

My voice echoes with longing
Lost, searching for protection
I wear my raincoat most days
just incase the sky decides to open
and I am left below, out in the rain
searching for shelter in all the
wrong doorways

scars cut like roads
that wind around your bones
it was snowing ashes
and your heart was aflame
your tongue grew cold
because you grew silent
your teeth were tired
and your feet ached
you hated your skin
but your eyes dried
and your fingers lay stiff
while the pain carried you away