you said
it doesn't matter anyway
it never did

you said
it didn't matter
if it was a week, a month, or a year
we wouldn't be forever anyway

you once said
you loved me
on a cold and dark night like this

you said  
it didn't matter

but baby
it matters *to me

Like electricity through a power line
Creative juices are flowing, full speed
& of course that's fine
It's all I really need
....Without it I'd probably be ruthless & mean
That I can't even imagine
Since it's never been seen
Compassion is just my normal routine
Hmmm what to make, what to make
Ideas are just an endless list
Choose one...HAHAHA you know how long that will take!?!
All too great too resist
Here's to another inspiring day
& all the many, many, many more
You're STUCK with me this way
The sky ISN'T the limit but in it I will soar!!

I am not your maid.
I am not your personal cook.
I am not a butler for you to boss about.
I'm not your employee...
Your slave, nor am I anything of the such.
I'm not a *** doll.
Or a pillow to cuddle with.

I am a person made up of water, blood and flesh.

I think.
I feel.
I bleed.
I cry.
I laugh.
And I live.

Please don't confuse these things.

For I am real.
And you shouldn't take me for granted.

lately i need music
to lull me to sleep
beautiful melodies
lure me into dreams
silence doesn't cut it
in silence my mind screams
it seems silence is louder
than i can manage
so i put in my head phones
and music acts as a bandage.

Everything is so black and grey.
I'm surrounded by all the reasons I cannot stay.
I've tried the drugs.
They take me away just for that moment of the day.
The alcohol stimulates me just a hangover in so much more pain.
The pain I feel never goes away.
No matter what I do.
It's always there to stay.
Maybe it is telling me I shouldn't be here today.
I've cried and I've cried with my blood shot tears.
It is hard to say what I will do next.
I'm im so much more pain.
I've overdosed on medication.
I'm surprised.
I should be in the hospital by now.
They would probably ask me too many questions as they examine me.
My body is bruised frome head to toe with cuts of blood here and there.
I'm im so much more pain.
I wish someone was still here to help me through my pain.
Everyone is gone.
They left me behind.
I'm in so much more pain.
I wanna know why I am still here.
All I wish is to go back in time.

I found you between touches on screens
through swiping on pocket machines
and I met you in the long shadow of sunset
you smoked a cigar and I a cigarette

We put the stars in our eyes
and found ufos and Russian spies
and gave ourselves to the not knowing
but knowing this wanting to keep going

So at one am we kissed at Chevron
with a smirking cashier looking on
and I did so without a second thought
because, honestly, how could I not?