--Proverbs xxiv. 11, 12.

1.

I have done I know not what,--what have I done?
  My brother's blood, my brother's soul, doth cry:
  And I find no defence, find no reply,
No courage more to run this race I run
Not knowing what I have done, have left undone;
  Ah me, these awful unknown hours that fly
  Fruitless it may be, fleeting fruitless by
Rank with death-savor underneath the sun.
For what avails it that I did not know
  The deed I did? what profits me the plea
That had I known I had not wronged him so?
    Lord Jesus Christ, my God, him pity Thou;
  Lord, if it may be, pity also me:
    In judgment pity, and in death, and now.

2.

Thou Who hast borne all burdens, bear our load,
  Bear Thou our load whatever load it be;
  Our guilt, our shame, our helpless misery,
Bear Thou Who only canst, O God my God.
  Seek us and find us, for we cannot Thee
Or seek or find or hold or cleave unto:
We cannot do or undo; Lord, undo
  Our self-undoing, for Thine is the key
Of all we are not though we might have been.
  Dear Lord, if ever mercy moved Thy mind,
    If so be love of us can move Thee yet,
If still the nail-prints in Thy Hands are seen,
    Remember us,--yea, how shouldst Thou forget?
  Remember us for good, and seek, and find.

3.

Each soul I might have succored, may have slain,
  All souls shall face me at the last Appeal,
  That great last moment poised for woe or weal,
That final moment for man's bliss or bane.
Vanity of vanities, yea all is vain
  Which then will not avail or help or heal:
  Disfeatured faces, worn-out knees that kneel,
Will more avail than strength or beauty then.
Lord, by Thy Passion,--when Thy Face was marred
  In sight of earth and hell tumultuous,
    And Thy heart failed in Thee like melting wax,
And Thy Blood dropped more precious than the nard,--
    Lord, for Thy sake, not ours, supply our lacks,
  For Thine own sake, not ours, Christ, pity us.

In the placid summer midnight,
Under the drowsy sky,
I seem to hear in the stillness
The moths go glimmering by.

One by one from the windows
The lights have all been sped.
Never a blind looks conscious--
The street is asleep in bed!

But I come where a living casement
Laughs luminous and wide;
I hear the song of a piano
Break in a sparkling tide;

And I feel, in the waltz that frolics
And warbles swift and clear,
A sudden sense of shelter
And friendliness and cheer . . .

A sense of tinkling glasses,
Of love and laughter and light--
The piano stops, and the window
Stares blank out into the night.

The blind goes out, and I wander
To the old, unfriendly sea,
The lonelier for the memory
That walks like a ghost with me.

someone once told me people do their best dreaming while they're asleep.

i don't buy it.

on the contrary,
i think people do their best dreaming whilst awake.

that's when they're the most tangible,
and are more easily remembered,
or acted upon.

take action!
stand up, don't wallow in self pity and hopelessness.

don't you want to taste achievement on your tongue and feel accomplishment swell inside your chest?

you want something?

then get up and go get it!
no one's holding you back.

do your best dreaming when you're awake.

Carlyle combined the lit'ry life
With throwing teacups at his wife,
Remarking, rather testily,
"Oh, stop your dodging, Mrs. C.!"

Die into me,

Every kiss is a prayer
As I whisper a prophesy
         To your body.

          The night will keep us
As we constellate our passion.

I die into you,

      I await you on the other side,
There open my soul
      And read the inscription:

   He died a thousand times,
Reborn inside her,
    The Sacrificial Lover.

She gazed up into the indigo night sky
Saw the twilight moon eclipsed
Like an unknown planet dark but visible
Had smothered the light
Apart from one sliver cresented
On the edge where black became blue

I followed
Through the piercing breeze
Needing to get out
I stayed inside, I couldn't breath

We sneaked through the underbrush
Feeling improbable and alive
The stars made us feel at home
With you I felt less alone
Creeping along some old man's back yard
Lying on the grass, your hand in mine
Trying not to remember, trying our best
To stop time and our hearts from beating