sometimes you're like homework
so confusing
and i just stare at you
absent-mindedly
hating you
yet you're important to me
it's so hard to finish you
and i lose inspiration every now and then
but when i get high as my grades
i come running back to you

i can't wait to graduate from school
get rid of this infatuation
we would be adults by then
and hopefully this mess will be sorted out

i guess i thought that i could learn how to drink away this lump in my throat

movies always taught me that when i turned 18, i would start shedding my skin and breaking down my walls but i didn't have any walls to tear down.
so i tried my hardest at age 18 to build them up, with the only things i had - boxes of matches
left over from burning down so many bridges

all because of some pieces of twisted metal,
i had to reteach myself how to drive.
and now i'm always 5 under the speed limit
i stop at every stop sign
no matter how angry i get

no one ever told me whether or not boxes of matches float
or why my neighborhood always looked so dark
and made me curl up like a dead spider

so now i stick my head in the freezer,
so i can get used to the feeling of my thoughts being so cold

now i kiss people just so we don't have to talk.

Beyond every struggle, every battle, every strife.
There is hope for a better tomorrow, a lesson, a new door.

We must forge ahead if we are to survive.
Let us journey onwards, and see what the future has in store.

A spider’s web,
So beautiful,
So intricate.
A work of art,
Worthy of admiration.

A spider’s web,
So evil,
So restrictive.
A prison,
Worthy of the innocent.

The spider itself,
Running on instinct,
Never realizing how much they torture their victims.
Yet, how enticing they make their webs,
Seduction, trust, desire.
Bugs don’t realize what they’re getting into
Before they get trapped.

Stuck, unable to move, forced into torture.
Abused physically, mentally, forced to love.
But we accept the love we think we deserve.

We deserve this pain, they love us.
Draining the life out of me,
They only do it because they love us.
They don’t mean it.

The bruises on my mind and on my body are love wounds.
My heart only beats for them,
I am loyal to my spider.
He abuses me because he loves me,
Because he doesn't know better.

Then the spider kills its prey,
The truest sign of love.

sometimes I become so frustrated with the word love because it doesn't hold enough value to express how I feel about you. it is almost as if I have to repeat it several times, "I love you I love you I love you so much", before it even begins to hold such a meaning.
nothing makes me happier than when you refer to the future as ours. I can't wait for the day you wake me up with kisses and coffee instead of waking up clutching my phone.
I honestly believe the reason I have always felt so homesick and such an intense wanderlust is because I've always been so far from you. (and just to prove my point, I woke up homesick again.)
the day I met you I felt the dirt in my chest get heavier but little did I know, the flowers were finally being watered.
and the day I fell in love with you I felt an explosion in my chest and I thought it was my heart but it was really the flowers blooming. it is almost like you are creating a garden for my demons to play in.
you make me want to keep breathing and it's so relieving. there isn't a day that starts with my wishing I hadn't woken up because I am always awoken by you.
I may be an angel but I swear you are a piece of the sun, shining light in my darkness. every day makes me believe more and more that you are the pieces of myself that I was missing for so long.

Your my universe. I hope you know,
Your the earth beneath my feet
Supporting my every need
Your the sun high above
Refreshing me every morning
With your warmful glow
Your the moon above my head
Illuminating the way
Your the stars shooting across the sky
Attempting to reach me to make
My dream come to fruition.....

The butterflies*
        turned into ravens,
Feasting over
        my ***** feelings.

The golden tinge of sun pierced the cloud
But the mangrove held onto its dark cloak
She hid somewhere between the light and shadow
When from one irresistible daze I awoke.

Unbeknownst flamed up the rocks salt white
Dry since the waves receded beyond the *******
A cold loneliness crept up in the spell broken light
As if eons had passed without the sight of her.

Then one seagull’s spriteful fish dream shriek
Motioned me up from the vacuous stupor
Buzzed each sand grain all years’ unborn speak
Was to be seized this moment and tell her.

The wind having carried the voice of her name
Spread it across the mangrove and far
From the receding waves rose a rising flame
When in her hug beneath an acacia I found her.