Yesterday I turned 24
I got everything I could wish for,
I evenn got a unicorn.
I seen everyone I adore & love,
If there was a cloud 9
I'd float slighty above.
Chocolate cake
That my my son
Wanted to smash in my face.
I stayed in the house all day
And lounged around like a ***,
Eating eggs cereal and pizza
With my bf & son.
Pretending to clean,
And "get dressed"
I didn't drink,
Not even a shot,
Go out or party,  I did not.
I just spent my day day
Inhaling love and peace
Doing whatever came to me.
24 feels way different then 23.

And they said that faith is for the weak,
And they said that we are dead.
That we can't fight,
That our blood is filthy,
That our eyes cant see the light.

We look up at the bright sky,
But we paint darkness.
We are trying to hunt
The vengeful freedom,
But we fall,
And we break our spirit.

Who distilates the blood from the water?
Who remembers the smile of a brother?
Who says we cannot rise,
Are we not murderers of the heart?

To have everything known
No secrets left
That's true freedom

To have no restraints
No bars blocking me from doing what I want to do
That's true freedom

To have a heart be known
No love to hide or secret admirers
That's true freedom

You never quit on me
Though I threw in the towel
Over and again
I washed my filth
Took an arrogant bow
You drew near me
Though I reeked of sin
not used to being loved
Intimate woman
I’ve never been...

My heart is a mechanism over which I have no control
My heart is a weapon I use against myself
My heart is a conglomeration of mixed up emotions
My heart is a tattered and torn but still somehow beating vessel
My heart is a complete and utter paradox; it perplexes even myself
My heart is heavy artillery ready to open fire on me at any moment
My heart is a solitary device, driven only by its own selfish and foolish desires
My heart is a kindergarten craft project, held together weakly with superglue,
but each fragile piece created with care
My heart is the antithesis of progress,
the opposite of what I need to remain sane

All I ever do
Is Wax and Wane. And I still
feel like I love you

There are pretty girls getting limo rides with rich men smiling by their sides
while I am singing with flowers between my teeth like romantic swords within a sheath.

I see their pretty eyes fill with city lights.
So very bright... so very bright...
But the gutters are hidden just out of sight and the rats are crawling through the night.

I am riding my bike between the trees while, in my mind, I'm on my knees with sadness at the girls in limos never knowing what will come when the sun goes down and the rats come out to feast...

I am the boy waiting on the beach watching the girls in the city but when the lights leave their eyes and they turn around,  I won't be there anymore.

we are alone.
moonlight's kiss
on sunburned skin
and a poisoned caress from honey dew

we are alone.
silent wings slicing through
thick
dark

we are alone.
a dull point
glimmers
and we hack
and we slash

we are alone.
ruby trickles light the black
and crimson beads
form crimson rivers

i am alone.