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215 · Nov 2015
Write a Poem
Write a poem about me
Tell me all the evils you see in me
     It's ok to be harsh
Write a poem about me
Tell me how my heart is mended and no longer bleeds
   Though I still feel the holes
Write a poem about me
Tell me how there is love left in this soul you see
      To me it's as dark as obsidian
Write a poem about me
Tell me all the secrets of the third face I cannot see
        I really do think I keep it hidden
Write a poem about me
Just, write what you really see
It may be vain. Oh well....
#tellme #secrets #blacksouliswhatihave
214 · Jun 2016
Untitled 28
When the tears stop from the betrayal I have encountered, then I shall rise, forgive, but never again trust. No words of comfort shall pass these lips for you, for all I received was venom in the disguise of concern from one blood to the other. Venom that ate away at my very being. Leaching into my thoughts. Encouraging the not good enough's back. The whirlpool of doubt to twist faster. Unable to dip my fingers in it for fear of being swept away. My own blood attempts to destroy me....but the phoenix will soon have her day
214 · Nov 2015
Secret
To the world she seems ok
Strong, independent, resourceful
She sings as though no one is listening
Dances to the music in her head as though no one is watching
Laughs at even the most ridiculous jokes
Smiles everyday to appease the masses
To the world she seems ok
Look though,  look deep into her eyes
The ones that others see and believe that  all is fine
Look deep though and you will see
She is crying,  but the world will not see
They will not see this damage
They will not see her ache
She will keep this to herself
But look deeply, you will see
This secret of hers you can break, set free
Do not let her know that you know
Just hold her, be there
Do this and soon, sooner than you think
You will mend this secret she keeps
214 · Mar 2016
Simple
The first breath of a babe
A lazy summer night
How the stars hang in the balance of the heavenly sky
The first snowflake of winter
The first flower of spring
The taste of lovers lips
The song the soul sings
A cold one on a hot day
Laughter of children as they play
Birds flying high
The beautiful blue of the sky
The beauty seen through my eyes
The simplest things in disguise
Find your simple beauty....
213 · Oct 2016
Burned
Don't get burned
not again
Keep your hand away
The fire is too much
You'll turn to ash
Don't get too close
Don't touch the flame
No, not again
too late
The fire so compelling
It's sweet scent overwhelming
Hypnotic in its gaze
You can't help it
this time
This time it's different
It's not just your hand
You're holding your heart
Your soul its cocoon
Into the fire
You feed it
You feel the pain
But don't let go
Moves up your arm
Inch by inch
You try to pull away
too late
You've been burned
*turned to ash by this flame
Jack wasn't nimble, Jack wasn't quick. Jack was burned by the candlestick...
213 · Jul 2015
*sigh*
As I read and reread our messages my heart breaks even as it soars.
I cannot and want not to lose you again. Why does our love hurt so much?
Why can I not keep you out of my mind?

                       (I love you.  
                                   Do not leave me.)

I know I'm not deserving of your love if it is truly reciprocal.
I am deserving of heartache and loneliness.            

               (I am deserving of hell
                                  but not its fallen angel.)

But I must ask these questions,
do you hurt as I do with our love?
Can you not keep me off your mind?
Do you too not want to lose me?
                                                    
                                 (i love you.)
213 · Nov 2015
Phone
She waits with bated breath
unable to take her eyes away  
From the phone that sits upon her desk

Such a little device that holds such might
Here upon this winter's night
To her, it is life or death of her heart to know what the answer brings
Waiting for that powerful flash of green  

Minutes have passed
Her phone sits there remaining black
She mentally kicks herself, she shouldn't the question have asked

Her phone goes off and flashes green  
Startling her out of her reverie
She is now stuck in a riptide of petrifying emotions
Her heart being pulled under the waves of the ocean

Five minutes have passed
The phone continues to flash
She cannot bear the answer to the question asked
Have we not all been there?
212 · Oct 2015
Open Book
Oh my God!
What have I done?
I've let him into what I've become
Will he see my soul
Splayed open and true
Will he see these words
And think them all true
May he believe they are old
And not about him
For my soul is splayed open
They are of him
212 · Jul 2015
Insomnia
Oh my creature!
My beautiful, evil creature!
You come to me at night and not let go until mornings rays
Your claws feel painfully pleasurable upon my mind
You help me to feel all that I shut out during the day
You help me to write what I cannot say
Oh my beautiful evil creature!
Please leave!
I need the peace of the night.
This is a creature I fight most every night.
211 · Nov 2015
Never Was
Funny is it not
For years I thought I was in true loves embrace
Amazing how my body instead of being warm was always cold
I should have listened better to it
I may have then known that this was not love
Intriguing how my mind overrode my heart for so long.
Though my heart was yelling the whole time NO!
My mind continued to say YES!
Finally my heart and mind spoke
With it, understanding came
This should have never been  
Walking out the door was the most peaceful thing I have yet to do.
Now my being, though still cold, is finally at *peace
I finally realized why it was so easy to leave
211 · Oct 2015
Home
As she sits holding her pillow tight on her most enjoyed settee
She laments to herself
"I want to go home"
But isn't home where she be?
Inside these walls made of wood
Of these windows made of glass
With family hanging upon the walls in neatly framed photographs
"No!" she cries
"This is not my home, not anymore"
She can still hear the echo of laughter throughout the rooms
Smell the perfumes and colognes
They are like ghosts in this house
This house that once was home
"So where is home?" she asks softly to herself
She silently weeps as she knows the answer
Home is where the heart is
*but of her heart,
nothing is left
You win universe
You did it
You finally destroyed her
Made her cry tears of blood
Let her lie upon the cold floor
Alone, abandoned
Let her realize her worthlessness
As her life seeped into the wood
You finally let her
not good enough's
not strong enough's
not worthy enough's
Not Smart enough's
NOT PRETTY ENOUGH'S
Rise to the surface
Drowning her into submission
Letting her succumb to the darkness
The darkness that was buried deep within
You let it rise
You let it engorge her
You let it pull her into the undertow
Knowing she wouldn't be able to swim
Not this time
her last air bubbles of light
Drifted upon the raging storm
The storm you brought her
The one you stirred so violently
the whirlpool it created
A masterpiece
One for the books
She is now gone
Forever into the darkness
*she will never see light again
Bad day, think nothing of it...I'll be just fine...
210 · Jan 2016
Circle
As I lay my head upon my pillow
Tears threaten to fall
Tonight, I will the "goodnight's" to never make it past my fingers
I do not believe when I wake I will let the "good mornings" go either
Nor will the "have a good day's"
I'll leave out the "how was work's" and "what to do for dinner's" too
Also the "kids are driving me batty's" and "what are you now up to's"
It will all circle back to me laying my head upon my pillow, my fingers itching to type
The tears threatening to spill like blood from a fresh slaughter
All from me willing to not send
*Goodnight
210 · Oct 2015
Children for Sale!
Children for sale!
Children for sale!
I have two children for sale!
They're young and they're strong!
They're rowdy and fun!
They like to get muddy!
Don't like showers, they prefer baths that are sudsy!
They like to talk
They like to do that a lot!
They're sweet and cuddly
They're fun and bubbly
Forget it!
They're mine*!
I will love them until the end of time*!
208 · Feb 2016
Hang On
Hang on just a little longer
You've got this
Hang on and breathe
Life will work it's way out
You've just got to step back and believe
So hang on
Hang on to the good memories
Hang on to the hope of a brighter future
Hang on to love when you find it
Hang on, this too shall pass.
Just some words of encouragement
Hang on my friends,  this is not the end
208 · Feb 2016
Good and Bad
I have been
Chewed up
Spit on and out
Stepped on
Ridiculed

I have also
Been loved
Seen love
Felt love
Hugged and cherished

One way was a pitfall
The other saving grace
Either way
I wasn't ignored like I am now
To just ignore someone is the ultimate immaturity of one's self. If you are done let that person know. Don't act childish.
207 · Dec 2015
Lost
I've lost myself I do believe
It's a thought I have tried hard not to conceive
I've lost myself inside your depths
Inside those eyes of yours to which I lose my breath
I have lost myself beneath your touch
Your hands of velvet which  look so rough
I've lost myself to your words
Those you cannot see and those not  heard
I've lost myself in all your caring ways
How you know just what to say  
I've lost myself before I knew
It seems I've lost myself to you  
To say I'm not scared would be a lie
but I am willing to give this a try
There is a question though that needs a decree
Have you in turn  **lost yourself to me?
206 · Nov 2015
Veterans Day
Today is a day
A day to remeber
A day to reflect
Those who came home
Those whom we will not forget
Either in peace time or war
At home or afar
We thank each and everyone
Who has helped keep our country strong
We are the land of the free
The home of the brave
Only made possible
By the sacrifices you all have made
Today we remember
Today is Veterans Day
Thank you to all who have served or are still serving
206 · Mar 2016
Letter....3
I tried to sleep tonight. I'm exhausted but sleep will not come. You're on my mind. Tis like my soul you've made undone. I cannot see you for a while, the little ones won't agree. But oh if you could hold me in your arms, at peace I could be. I pray to God that you dream a little dream of us. One that puts a smile on your face and makes you, for us, full of lust. I know that when I dream, we are together, a picturesque serene. I also pray that if you read this, it will not scare you off. Dear my heart is not quite ready for that L word, love. But to have you stay in my life, would mean the world to me. Maybe soon it'll be ok, and the little ones will agree.
My lover, my friend has yet to meet my children outside of church. I don't know if he ever will. That is for me to decide and him to want.
206 · Feb 2016
Just To Let You Know
Am I confusing you?
Do you think I want an us?
Dear let me put it this way
The line was erased between the both of us
Whether we wanted this or not
It has happened
Let's ride it to the finish line
Do not think I mistake this for love
For ***, I'm no where near that ready
I will say this, this is beyond just lust
Love though will not for a while be crossing these lips
So take me as I come
Take me as I am
Babe if you can't handle me, then I guess you're not truly a man
For I am wild and free
My inner beast you have unleashed
Just wanted to let you know since I'm no longer m'lady
Just wanted to make sure you understood
#line #erased #lover #wild #understood
205 · Jan 2016
Sleepwalking?
Awakened you are by a force unknown
Drawn are you barefoot out your home
The cold winter ground your feet do tread
Deep in your soul you feel dread
You believe this is a dream
This cannot be what it seems

Your steps are light upon the pine littered floor
But this is a dream to yourself you implore
The scent of the forest though is too real
Your heart threatening to break free is how you feel

In a clearing you see your siren
Auburn hair, red dress, and hazel eyes burning
Around an alter she does dance
Upon the stone lays a man
You're curious as to whom this could be
Not believing when upon the man your eyes do see
Closer and closer you carefully tread
You do not want her to hear your stead
Caution though is for not
She turns to look, you are caught
She smiles a sultry smile of glee
Coercing your near, time to see
Upon the slab is truly a man
It is you, you are dammed
She laughs as she sways to her own beat
There is no fire but you feel her heat

Suddenly you awaken in your bed
Sweat is pouring from her heat off your head
Has your love bewitched you the question  asked  
Is she truly one to have taken this task
You pull your love closer to you to sleep
Knowing that she is the siren in your spelled dream  

For all is never how it seems
Never as it seems....
Sleep well..
203 · Nov 2015
Untitled VIII
Sing for me you moon so high
Sing for me the nights lullaby
Stars come together,
form me a bed
Milky way merge, make a pillow for my head                                                          
Cr­ickets and larks do sway me soft
May slumber no longer be what I thought  lost
203 · Jan 2016
Sigh Upon the Wind
I swear I feel him near me at times
See his face so clear
Smell his scent on me
His hands through my hair  
I know my mind is playing tricks
For he is just a ghost
a sigh upon the wind
I want more than a ghost
#ghost #sigh #trickymind
202 · Nov 2015
I Want to Ask
I want to ask you to stay
I want to ask you to not keep me at bay
I want to ask you to let me in
I want to ask you to catch me as I descend
I want to ask you to catch me as I fall
I want to ask you to sprout your wings as to you I crawl
I want to ask you to hold me close as you take me and fly
I want to ask you to hold me in your arms while into the sky we climb

Slowly into you, you have let me be  
Little by little you have let me see
Catch me, I am falling  
Can you not hear for you my heart calling

Please hit the ground before I do
I want to ask but am afraid.....
202 · Dec 2015
Storm
A storm is coming signaled in by the raging wind
I watch the weeping willow through my window as against the storm she stands
The wind whips through pulling off her leaves    
Like a mother losing her child, she does not break, only bends to weep
Thunder begins to roll in the distance  
As lightening illuminates the sky
An omen of the worsening storm  
She continues to bend, waiting for it to pass by
Rain and hail start to fall
Ripping off  remaining leaves  
As she continues her motherly weep
She sways majestically, refusing to break Lightning hits her, cleaving her in half
She lays now broken upon the ground
No more tears can she shed  
She, her regal self, a casualty of the storm
201 · Dec 2015
Climb
I need to climb
I need the feel of the mountain beneath my bare hands
The rocks cutting into my palms

I need to fall
I need the feel of the wind beneath my body
The feeling of weightlessness through me

I need to drive
I need to push it to the red line
The feeling of losing control course through me

I need to climb
I need the feel of nature within me
The feeling of mother nature crying along side me

I need to climb......
I need my mountain again
#climb #fall #nocontrol #feel
I have a story to tell
One that may not end that well
It is of a man and woman
Their journey to eachother....

I.
  There once were two children. One a boy and the other a girl. They knew eachother only from church. Sat in different rows but took the same Sunday school class. During breaks between class and church, the children were allowed to play. During this time the boy would pull the girls hair. Weather while in pig tails or down, he always had to touch her.

    This is how it went for years. The boy pulling her hair and she casting him ***** looks. Then after one summer, the girl had grown up. So had the boy. No longer children, yet not quite adults. The girl now found the boy handsome, but was shy to show it. The boys also found the girl pretty but was to afraid to tell. Then one day it happened.

      The girl had a simple party at her house. Invited her friends, including him. Surprisingly he showed. They all watched the game on TV then her and the boy took a stroll. He, as he did in their childhood, kept finding ways to touch her. Eventually he just grabbed her hand. That was it, a relationship started. They dated then for a while. Car rides, parties, parking and going to second only. Sitting together at church. Holding hands in the pews. Then, neither can remember, it was over. Relationship done.

       She went her way and he his. It never failed though. They continued to see eachother in church. The butterflies never leaving. Only now, she sat pews away from him. They only spoke to the other when needed. He then stopped coming, and so did she.

II.
       The boy went on and became a father but not a husband yet. Joined the military and that was that. Came home after his time served. Met a woman, fell in love, and married. Marriage didn't last and divorce happened. During this time of supposed marital bliss, he came back to church for a funeral. There he saw her. She had just had her second child, but to him still looked beautiful. They spoke while they each had a smoke. The butterflies still there.

         She went her own way too after high school. Dated around, met a man, married. They had two children. She believed she was happy. Then she went to assist with a funeral at church. There she saw him. She lost her breath when their eyes met for the first time in years. Butterflies roared in her stomach. Butterflies she had not felt in a long time even with her husband. They spoke while they smoked. How she managed words to come out, she does not recall. She felt true happiness again for that small moment in time. Happiness she did not realize had left her. Five years later, she decided enough was enough. She left her husbandand filed for divorce. She couldn't quit thinking since that fateful day five years prior that she was no longer happy.

III.

      During the turmoil of her soul debating to leave or not, the boy and the girl began to again talk. Completely innocent at first. He listened to her and she in turn learned what happened to him. Then, the week she left, they met again for the first time outside of church in years.

       They ate, they drank, they laid. Oh what a fateful day that was. It was to have only been a neutral meeting, but **** if curiosity did not come in. They wanted nothing more of eachother at that time. He still went his way and her hers. She dated, so did he. But they would still get together as though a magnetic force drew them near.

       Around the fourth month or so, things took a turn. They began to become inseparable on the phone and meeting together more and more. She tried to deny and he did too, that feelings had come into play. This was not supposed to happen. Not yet anyways.

IV.
       Fast forward to the now. Oh this here present day. Things have become quite serious between these two. Both delving deeper into the others psyche. Sharing with the other things no one else could know. Still not wanting to yet admit their feelings for the other. She remembering his words of "nothing until the divorce". Him remembering his words to her, "I'm here I am not leaving you again".

       How will this story end? Neither knows for sure. Predictions can be made. Prayers said to keep them together. Maybe after May the tides will turn full favor. Or perhaps fate will step in, once again, and tear them asunder.
Only time will tell....
201 · Nov 2015
Red
Red
Everywhere I see is red
Red upon my walls, my floor
Red is in my hair
Red is on my chamber door

I see red everywhere
It is even on my clothes
My focus though are on my hands
For in them my beating heart they hold

I have torn myself apart
This red I have purposely spilled  
My heart I have ripped from my soul  
This heart that beats still
200 · Oct 2016
Untitled 30
Dark pricing eyes
Fistful of hair
Exposing her like no other has
Nervous energy
Coursing through
His tongue dancing
Teasing the lifeblood on her neck
******* her like art
Cotton becoming silk
His cool hands attempting
to tame her fiery skin
Slowly he claims her
Explosions of ecstasy encompass both
No words needed
Caught instead in each others mouths
Ripples of pleasure
Hum through the air
200 · Oct 2015
Heartbeat
I sit here waiting
Counting the days
the days until my heart beats again
I know I have a heart
I feel it beat beneath my breast
the beat is weak though
I go thru the days
Go thru the motions
I feel as though I am a ghost of my former self
Where once brought joy
Now only brings pain
My heart no longer sings
So I wait patiently, as patiently as I can
To rid myself of my ghost
*to feel my heart beat strong again
199 · Feb 2016
She Will Rise
Ash Wednesday holds so much
A time for reflection
A time to look inside for us

The palms we waved
Near a year passed
Burnt now to give us our ash

The priest he sermonises
Over how our life like the palms brittle
How the need of our soul rises

I should be reflecting
How I can become more holy
All I can do is start daydreaming

I ponder the ash in their little glass bowls
It reminds me of me
How burnt has become my soul

But from the ashes I shall rise again
Become stronger and smarter
Like the flaming phoenix
Fly into the wind

I line up dutifully
Now to accept my cross
My soul sings, not all is lost

My children are happy, I am happy too
I have risen from my ashes
I have become brand new

My final stage of transformation
Is coming nigh
Sixty more days of being a Mrs
Then to the sky I shall fly

I wonder furiously
As the cross of ash is placed upon my head
Will I be flying alone
Or will my lover be holding my hand

Time will tell
That's all I can say
Patience is the Devils curse
Patience makes me insane
A few days late. Wasn't ready until tonight.
199 · Feb 2016
Don't Look
Don't look behind you
It is only me
The cool breath on your neck
My calling card you see
When you lay down on your pillow tonight
Don't worry the hands that encircle your heart
These ones of ice
That is just me letting you know
You can try and hide
But the reaper will show
I'll delve into your heart and mind
Show what you've missed
What you left behind
I'll make you crazy
Wishing that you could redo what's been done
I'll play with you tonight
For that is my fun
To make you cry and beg and lament
Of the one's whose souls
You left broken and spent
I'll play this game with you
For however long I please
Then when you think you can handle it
I'll do one last squeeze
My icy hands around your heart
You will wish then
To find her and make your mark
Though you will not be able to
For her I've given life anew
You see dear one,
Who is now turning deathly blue,
Her life I've now taken from you
#reaper #cold #hands #gone...
199 · Jan 2016
Eyes Wide Shut
Drove without seeing
Heard without listening
Touched without feeling
Crooned  without caring
Mourned without crying
Spoke without words
Ate without tasting

EYES
                                
W       I        D        E      

*shut
Need I say more.....
198 · Oct 2015
Regret
I want to build a time machine and go back to that  day.
The day I said goodbye.  
I want to take it back and have those years with you.
I want to see your eyes and feel that way again.  
I want to feel safe and awe.
Your eyes hold the universe.
I want to be a planet in them once more.
First true love, forever gone......
#regrets #safe #eyes #universe
197 · Oct 2015
Legend
The night black as pitch
My headlights barely cutting the veil
An owl, mighty wings outstretched
comes into view and rests
Rests in the mid of my path
Pressing the brakes as hard as I can
stopping just feet where it had land
It opened its beak
but instead of a shriek
my name was called
Shivers raced down my spine
Me eyes wide, terror filling my inside
Is it true, did I hear what I thought
Again it opened its beak and out comes my name
a shriek it did not
I do not know now how long I have
but the owl has just called my name
I now await for death to make its claim
A tale of legend that has stayed in my mind.
197 · Oct 2015
Cliché
"How do I love thee
Let me count the ways"
Oh please!
What a cliché!
Do not tell me things in sonnets or rhyme
Tell me what's in your heart, not in your mind
There are only three words of poetry I want to hear
Only three words that are music to my ears
I Love You
197 · Oct 2015
Demon Inside
I went to bed enraged last night. I wanted to lash out at everything I saw. My nerves were shot. The crowd too much. My children pushing every button till I about blew my top. So I had a choice to make, Xanax or a beer. I chose the one I knew I'd wake from, I chose beer.
        I'm gonna have to replinish it today. I think I'll grab some hard liquor too. I'm afraid that even though I awoke refreshed,  the beast inside is still there just waiting for its due. I used to be able to tame this beast with thoughts of happy things. Wait, what happy things? My life has been nothing but grey skies and doom.
       From early child hood up to today, I've been beaten and abused. My heart stepped on, my soul broken. My mind made lost and confused. So yeah, I think I'll drink tonight. I'll drink to my misery. I'll drink until I do pass out. I need to tame this demon within me, before he fully comes out.
#depression #curse
197 · Oct 2015
Truth
Do not cover my mouth today
For truth is what I need to say
Do not encrust my ears at all
For the truth I need hear to help me fall
Do not shield my eyes so I cannot see
For the truth cannot be blinded to me
The truth may hurt
But I'll be fine
Hopefully the truth will make you mine
197 · Oct 2015
Fairytale
Oh how you destroy her
Body and soul
She left you twice
just let her go
She loves you with the deepest of pain
She believes the skies mimic her memory of you when it rains
Time and again though you draw her back in
Words of love and how it could have been
Again this time her strength will fail
Believing that maybe this time,
she'll get her happy ending to her fairytale.
196 · Feb 2016
Untitled 14
The street lights streak by as though I'm on an acid trip.
They become rainbows of colors as I'm racing to escape.
Escape what I do not know.
I just feel the urge to run and hide, even from my shadow.
Ignored I have been, so miss me not will they.
Though I have been there for them, a heroine, their dragons I've slayed.
Words of encouragement over and over I gave.
Nothing in return, ignored me have they.
I do not crave a thank you or such.
I do not care for exploitation that much. But to be ignored is something I can't stand.
When I have given my all, my whole world into their hands.
So miss they will not as I run into oblivion. Hide I will till I can place them in my position.
Revenge is a dish best served cold....

The last few weeks I've just needed my friends. I never ask, but I have lately. Always there for them,  but now I know...I am truly on my own.
196 · Nov 2016
Oh So Slowly
I know how
Trust me I do
No one will miss
One single part of you

It won't be with a knife
That'd just be messy
A gun is easy to trace
And I have more grace

Car's too simple
I don't think it'd hurt enough
No, for you it's something special
One you've never thought of

It'll be excruciatingly painful
I will smile the whole time
Erase you ever so slowly
A favorite game of mine

Your tongue will not work
As it lays helpless in your mouth
Unable to form words
Unable to scream or shout

Your nose I may leave
Alone for just a while
So my scent will assail you
Take away your guile

Your ears will stay
Continue to hear
your own muted pleas
As I finish my selfish needs

I will not need
to take your mind
You're already losing it
Never again to find

Your eyes
I can't wait to watch
As I finish you
*They will dim, turn off
196 · Nov 2015
Eyes
The moon shines softly on her skin
The stars show brightly in her eyes
But you will not see this
For to her, you are blind
195 · Aug 2015
Wishes
Star light, star bright,
I wish again on you tonight.
As I have every night.
My wishes do not come true.
I am still here,
and she is still there with you.
194 · Feb 2016
Liar
I'm fine
except for the rolling, boiling, toiling of my insides

I'm doing ok
my body is just dying inside

Don't worry about me
my stomach is just in knots

See, I'm smiling
my soul has just become black

No tears for me
my heart just hurts

Look, I said I'm ok
don't believe me

*I'm a habitual liar.....
Honestly wrote this due to the stomach bug. It also fits though in everyday life. The masks we wear...
194 · Oct 2015
Untitled VI
Sun setting lower in the west
Casting it's last golden rays on Mother Nature's breast
Thr wind howls through the fields of grain
Flowing past where she has lain
the caw of the crow speaks softly in her ear
"I will take all of your despair"
That sealed her fate, knowing then her worth
As she let her lifeblood seep into the earth
193 · Sep 2016
Forgotten
A forgotten memory
Of forgotten lore
Begins to knock
At your minds door

Opened barely
A peek is all
Just to see
This memory lost

Your minds door opens
It needs you to know
This forgotten memory
This forgotten lore
This forgotten tale of woe

Assaulting your mind
Corrupting your senses
Remembering sights, sounds
Destroying your defenses

You attempt
to lock it back away
Regain control
But it is loose
*This monster out its cage
I got interrupted posting this
Thank you Thomas Esparza for helping with this one. Somedays I don't know how to make heads or tails of my writings, you always seem to be able to help. Thank you!
193 · Feb 2016
For What Do I Pray?
I fall upon my knees before my alter to pray to our Lord Jesus Christ
As I close my eyes, my mind goes blank
What do I pray for?
I know I must praise him and all his glories, his forgiving ways
I know I should pray to be more like him
But I cannot  
To pray to be more like Him, I have lost that want
What do I pray for?
I know that I am in need  
But will He even now hear since my belief wanes so?
Do I dare be selfish? Do I pray for me?
Do I pray for my own redemption?
Though people say my soul is pure
I know how my soul is tarnished, unclean
Especially since all I can think are selfish thoughts,  and prayers only for me
What do I pray for?    
Do I even dare?
#struggle #faith #wanes #selfish #human #sinful
193 · Dec 2015
Night Sisters
The night, she mocks me
Promises of sleep that are to never be
The night has caged me
Forever to lay awake and think of what may be    
As soothing and loving as the moon can be
Her sister the night despises me
Truly they are polar opposites yet playing under the same starry sea
How cruel of night to not let me be
How angry of the moon I am for she does not stick up for me
Insomnia, gotta love it
192 · Sep 2016
Reach
I reach for something
I believe is in my grasp
I run headlong to it
Stopped short by chain
Violently snapped back

I dig my hands into the dirt
Attempting to still reach
The collar around my neck
Stopping breath
Making me weak

My nails and neck
Become ****** and raw
As I attempt to relieve myself
Remove the confines
That encompass my soul

The binds do break
I lay spent upon the floor
Catching breath
Smelling freedom
I begin to reach once more
I will reach until it is mine..
192 · Oct 2015
I Love
The way he looks at me
The way his voice resonates in my body
The way his skin feels upon mine
The way he can have deep conversations
The way he wants to keep learning
The way he makes me feel at ease
The way he let's me open myself fully
The way he makes the butterflies soar
The way **I love the idea of him
#love #maybe #idea #him&me
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