am i admired as i admire others beauty?
i admire the strength i view in the eyes, revealing the souls journey
a journey that can be seconds and cover uncountable miles
the soul is quite about its struggles but the eyes cannot lie, cannot hide
honesty in its purest form
i wonder if the owner knows what there eyes reveal to me
how is life better or worst to have such memorable eyes
but deep down i know
pain is needed to create captivating eyes as equal as black and white keys are needed for music
pain gives dept and heals life from shallowness
pain crushes you to your knees, begging for mercy
but rather mercy in life instead of in death

i know pain
i know the black keys more than the white keys in my music piece
but i do not know if my eyes can measure up to beautiful eyes
i know the colour, i know it shifts
but i do not know its beauty
i can only hope to captivate one-day

an old, well known, thought lost, and irretrievable sensation
runs through my soul infecting my body and mind
reaffirming my original slogan, "go big or go home"

fresh 18 year old feeling, but with a touch of maturity
less ambition and exciting-fear
have no idea what i am doing, but this time i know that it is ok not to know

I write to ease my trouble mind, to give words to my broken emotions and to air my soul. A soul afraid of its own shadow, but filled with courage expressing sought after encouragement "tomorrow we will try again".

My true nature not even I have seen and experienced in its fullness. Hating what I see, taught to admire acceptable beauty and to shunned what might be my own unique beauty. I do not seek praise just to be seen, noticed and not ignored and labeled reject, outcast, weird and crazy

Maybe my life experience can help someone realise they are not alone. We all fight the same fight

Many hours spend romanticized my perfect filled life. Husband, children and successful business. Me stand for honor and love, loyal to the family
Dear oh dear what has become of my splendid day dreams. Covered in dust rarely read anymore

When the house settles in
I lay me down
Breathing slowing down
Drift of to sleep
I go home
To my private world
Life is perfect there
But
Pre determined
I have to leave home
Reality I must serve
Here I'm invisible
Regarded worthless
Thus trampled on
Ridiculed
Falaid on occasion even
Cruel barren land
Specs of oasis
Closed to me
Not even an glimpse allowed
Often feeling forsaken

how poor has the world become
when
to feel, you have to bash someone
no matter how odd they are

lead my mind to great people
albert einstein my favourite dyslexic
how outrages was da vinci's ideas in his days
the list goes on, but the world is still the same
no matter the century
all the technology and research has not changed the human nature
to destroy what does not resemble "me"
we like people because they reflect something of us
we never really bother to look deeper at the unique person behind the image

this is why i am condemned to loneliness till death
years of isolation amidst people left my mirror slightly de-angled
thus i cannot reflect what people want to see

my mom is always the hero in my poems
and i end up hoping that she looks down with a smile
i fear her scorning when we meet again, some day
feeling inadequate, did i measure up to her expectations
my dad is always the villein
the one who is managing an inconvenience
i never heard i was beautiful, are loved or are worthy from him
just an endless list of failures
no sister
no brothers
no best friends
just me, mom and dad
one big unhappy trio