2 | 31 Poems for August 2017

How are you so certain of a love that you’ve never truly experienced, but only seen in your dreams?
The love and faith you have in our future endeavours has got me listening to Love in the Future for hours on end.
I am not having any second thoughts about us, I’m just doubtful of the intensity of my love lately.
I have honestly lost count of how many times we’ve broken up – I’ve never been good at math anyway.
I’ve had to acquaint myself with the truth just so I could look you straight in the eyes without flinching.
Love me unconditionally until the day when you can finally feel my heart rapidly beating inside your chest.
Somehow love has eluded me ever since we’ve parted ways so I’ve been avoiding commitment these days.
I keep doing this thing wrong and constantly putting myself in places and spaces that I don’t belong.
On some nights, I sporadically smell your perfume on the white cotton sheets of my memory.

1 | 31 Poems for August 2017

I’m embracing the flaws that I have been blessed with.
Thoughts scatter like rain when your head lives in the clouds.
It’s amazing how people always find these hands of mine incredible.
They admire how these hands constantly transform simple words into beautiful poetry.
What more can I tell you?
I’m from the city where jacaranda trees light up the streets with their purple blooms.
I’m a lover without a lover, but never loveless plus I write poems on the pages of people’s hearts.
I met a girl with a soul like a library and every time I see her, she keeps getting thicker than the plot does.
I guess that it’s no mystery why I am obsessed with reading, I always have a book in my hand no matter the season.
For days on end, I’ve been yearning for my love to be intensified by the pulchritude of someone’s presence.
When you look at me, what do you see in my place?
I still yearn for soulful conversations filled with happiness, love and laughter.
The kind of conversations that will be accompanied with red wine and music by Emeli Sandé, Sade or Erykah Badu.
What more do you want to know?
I’ve fallen in love with my own solitude, but lately loneliness has gradually begun to creep in like a thief in the night.
Love is blind and that I already know, but I never want to write these words without a muse.
Love is not a mystery; it’s every beautiful thing that I ever wanted it to be.

Jen, never worry because I promise you that everything is going to be okay.
Your mind is as breathtaking as views from Table Mountain and your love is as beautiful as the Sistine Chapel.
Life for us was different a few weeks ago, silhouettes of dreams keep me holding on to a different hope.
Two minds flooded with dopamine, our disagreements show that we have more issues than weekly magazines.
But our love proves that nothing has changed in regards to the connection that we share.
I still write about you in hopes that one day you’ll read all these words and hopefully find your way back to me.
The moment that you opened up your eyes, I was right there by your side and my love for you comes as no surprise.
When my blue skies have turned grey, I listen to that one Emeli Sandé song and reminisce about you every single day.
So babe, it’s okay you can hold me now, hold me down and hold me always.
Listening to Long Live the Angels and taking note of the colours in my dreams.
When the relentless heat of the summer sun drove me crazy all I could think about was your smile and those beautiful brown eyes.
I’ve come to accept that love is a part of me even when it’s apart from me.
Jen, never worry because I promise you that everything is going to be okay.

I’m walking away from vulnerability and closing my heart off, I’m better off using my heart less.
I was close to the cliff like Clair Huxtable but a part of me felt like jumping off.
I probably look like a fool right now, expressing all my feelings in full right now.
I’m hurting and I know that I’m not perfect; the weight of all these words has gradually become a burden.
You are the words I tried to say when my mouth was shut and my larynx was flooded with silence.
Heartbreak comes in the morning when the sun is shining, when the wind is blowing and my coffee has gone cold.
Forever is a myth and the future is uncertain; the weight of all these words has gradually become a burden.
Somewhere in my heart there’s a void, a void that I hopelessly walk around trying to avoid.
You made letting go seem so easy, detachment was always something you were good at.
I wish that you receive everything that I couldn’t give to you, there’s so much of myself that I could sacrifice.
I hope that it was all worth it – you abandoning the home you’ve made in me.
A friend once told me, *“Don’t make homes out of people because they always leave and take everything you own with them.
Or better yet, they stay and ruin everything you’ve worked so hard to build.”

I get high off my lows when my life is rapidly moving out of control.
I wish someone had told me that drugs come in the form of people too.
I love waking up whole to the bonfire of a warm and loving soul.
But I know that you will eventually grow tired of me somehow they all do.
Diligently dealt with depression before and I’ve been silently subjected to a detrimental allure.
This obsession with depression will have me in a state of regression.
I have visions of nightmares when the night stares, this is my confession.
I have been falling apart while trying to piece together my broken heart.
Love does not know the pain it heals and pain does not know the love it seeks.
The doors of my closet lead to a graveyard that has been burdened with my endeavours of trying to be someone worthy of your love.
Depression hit harder than the recession, it had me regressing and constantly questioning my level of progression.
I wish someone had told me that drugs come in the form of people too.
If someone alerted me then I wouldn’t have fallen so deep in love with you.

1-Promises are buds of flowers, always wait for the petals
2-One person's nothing can be another's everything
3-Sometimes what was once compatible food can turn into poison
4-Some are stop overs, others destinations, do not mistake the two...
5-Oceans of love will always bear storms, the worthy hold firm next to your palm as you battle with the sails
6-Some wounds are too deep to heal, some memories too precious for time to steal,
7-The journey home is too short in the presence of company
and no journey is longer than the lone journey home
8-The future's only more promising along with warm company
Otherwise the past is more beautiful if the future you craved is left behind
9-It's not the sky but courage to flap their wings that makes the birds fly, it takes courage to get up and get going
10-Horizon's sometimes pitch black, yet for her darkness we appreciate her mellow
11-there're so many junctions of goodbye on the roads of hello
12-Enjoy your together while you still can for you can never know where your apart happens
13-There's always the one who hurts you, who leads you to The One
14-Forgiveness is the one thing we all want to receive and never give
15-The past is always here, who can escape his own shadow stalking?
16-The road never ends, we just decide when to stop walking
17-Love never dies, futile we stop wasting time talking
18-When the rains go, you have to water the roses if you treasure their bloom
19-You have to know which gardens to water, some flowers just can't bloom
20-We all have regrets, but they're often about those things we never did
21-The letters we wrote and never sent haunt us the most, words we never had courage to say are the ghost
22-The shortest route to the pain's believing in perfection
23-The beauty of wounds is in encircling about the core of pain,
of storms is in dancing in the rain...
24-Nothing changes, all is simply the invisible that was blurred from the far of first impression
The dark side of the moon, the mask falling off, the dust on the etched washing off under the melting glacier of familiarity
25-Forever's infinity, no matter how long we walk, we never get there...
26-Where you choose to stop is your forever, it's the much you could get.
27-We can never go back, second chances are simply opportunities to experience the pain again
28-The heart will work, whether it's broken or not... it's the mind that needs fixing.
29-It's painful letting go, it's twice as painful holding on...
30-It's hard being alone and meaningless being with someone who'd rather be with someone else.
31-Losing love changes you, for better and most times for worse...
32-I should have read the signs and taken another road
33-Even if you hadn't hurt me, someone else would.
34-It wasn't all for nothing, I learnt my lessons...
35-Time heals all wounds, but not all scars.
36-I'll love again, but not as much as I loved you.