my thoughts are stars
I cannot fathom into constellations
my thoughts are speedway cars
they wont pace themselves consistent
my thoughtless days are like my self control
nonexistent

When I asked for silence
I didn't mean silence
I meant get out of my mind
because I am supposed to be the master

I've had a bad day

like that gay song announces
every time it plays
and the words have never cut into my soul
like today-
the knives breaking every last bit
of flesh I've ever birthed
how do you stray from these bad days?
sing a sad song
just to turn it around?
evidently-
it wont work
sad songs bring me down
sometimes I'm okay with that.
but not today
not today am I okay with the fact
that my life completely and utterly
SUX!

you may not understand me
though that's fine
because at times
I don't understand myself

*I don't understand what I could have seen in you.

Glowing from the refreshing crystal blue water
an angelic presence
along side
an artistic landscape
with an abundance of animals
roaming freely
everything appeared unblemished
perfect
desirable
my mother finished reading
I asked
is there such a thing as happy endings?
my mother replied
yes
if you work with what you have
and are satisfied in the end
that’s all that truly matters
I took her words to heart
because I’ve never had a true answer
happy endings seemed to only be in fairytales
over the years,
I’ve also picked up on something else
in every fairytale
there are common factors
you aren’t just handed anything
you have to fight
overlook the irascible people
and do what’t best for you.

this was the most  important lesson I’ve ever learned.

Happy endings don’t only exist in fairytales.

**they exist everywhere.

The more you think
the more you wont
the more you do
them more you will