I sat there with friends
admiring cute couples
wishing that could be me

and in barely a minute
I feel a tap on my shoulder
I wonder who it could be?

I realized it was a boy
with a bright yellow sweater
how did he know, that that was my favorite color?

he said
I saw you from across the room
and wanted to say that you are really pretty

I thought my ears were lying
I was so shy
I didn’t even want to look him in the eye

thank you
I said so timidly
it felt like a dream

he started throwing off some cheesy pickup lines
I thought they were adorable
and he seemed so confident

he had major guts
for doing what he did
and I will always remember the day
that he and his heart

came <3

is the reason so many people are blue
because the sky is casting down on us
and the rare times that we are happy
the sun is breaking through
breaking through the struggles
life's hardships
that one huge sun, but oh so small compared to the sky
can make a beautiful day just by perseverance
we owe it to the sun for being our example
*one to look up to

him.
the fire that was once burning so explosively
giving up days after ratchet days to kindle it
him.
It let off so much warmth in my heart
kept me cozy on days of doubt
him.
was unselfish
caring to all
him.
could easily be gone
if I didn't tend it just right
him.*
flaring in extraordinary ways
looked like a devil in an angel kind of way
him.
him.
reminds me of a fire.

Flailing my arms
Tapping my feet
Licking my lips
Attempting any distraction
For you to notice me once.
It's not easy though
I walk by so slow
To maybe get a second look
But all of this has grown us farther apart
We are gliding apart into the distant stars

I am no longer functioning
a machine that is now broken
in which used to create works of art
that now has grown dusty and
has an out of order sign taped to the front
someone who has lost their parts
and is now in search of
finer
more effective parts
it seems like most people are in need as well
but where oh where
are the spares?
surely someone can help
this world is bigger than we first thought
so maybe they've got something I need
I am leaning on the greed
of my needs
not want ya hear
I need
I went to the mechanic the other day
he says we ain't go no room for the lame
the kids who live with shame
on a day to day basis
he says I belong
in an insane asylum
contained of young fools
but him bringing me down
will never turn me around

~machine

the wicked sound of the trees brushing past
the raindrops that would have races down their unforgiven paths
the smell of gasoline because my dad was cheap
the radio on alternative again for all to hear
the long talks about life and weather
made me feel I could stay in there forever

the car rides with my dad

this was a fateful day however
it seemed like we were driving forever
when we curved out of place
and took up someday else's space
Halt we came to an abrupt stop
colliding ends with a truck

I panicked inside
at the same time-
the air bags released
and I could barely breath!

my stomach felt like churning butter
my eyes only fluttered
my dad asked: are you okay?

I said a simple yes
I didn't feel like elaborating
on this tremendous experience.

he wiped his brow
grabbed his glasses
they were broken now
shattered into pieces like grands of molasses  

the police arrived
as I stood there stuttering

this was all surreal .

my dad was furious
though he held it in very well
on account we just bought the car
and now it looks like a piece of tar

he looked me square in the eyes and said

**"honey...I'm just glad we are alive!"

color me happy
paint me with a smile
and create me with some style
package me up
with care, and love
and send me away
to a place not so grey
where children laugh
adults show respect
and everyones relaxed...
I'm not asking for perfection
no
I'm asking for affection.