It's the week's end and
I have no place to be,

but believe me,
I'm far from free.

Hollow black fills my brain
in anticipation of dark solitude,

you will do this to yourself
again and again.

It's the week's end and
I have no one to see,
just my thoughts and me

in this little room
going nowhere in particular.

Working together in aimless desperation,
seeking order in the chaos,

turning up empty-handed
always.

A man without internal conflict
Is either a simpleton,
Or heavily indoctrinated


-Hadrian Veska

yesterday, i dreamt of you again.

and as i wonder today,
i realise that slowly but surely,
youre slipping from the crevices of my mind - like how sand slips right through our fingers,
like how the marks we leave on sand gets washed away by the waters

and i wonder,
why is it that i make you to be such a huge part of myself and my life,
when you might have totally forgotten about me?
why is it that after this whole time, my mind still wanders back to you from time to time,
more often than i wished it would?

why is it,
and how is it,
that after all this while,
i still allow myself to feel such unworthiness,
because of you?