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The world around me: Day after day it looks the same.
I hear the noise of the workers drilling in the basement
and watch people doing their business.
Here or anywhere other, it's the same.

Sometimes I think I am trapped. Trapped in former decisions;
decisions which always tend to reveal their full impact later.
I think about the mistakes I made and regret - what futile task
as past always stays past, petrifying words yelled and unspoken.

I'm not ungrateful - given my past suffering.
I'm not moaning - given freedom from my former pain.
I'm not unhappy - given that I was already happier tough.
I'm not doing nothing - given that it may look different to you.

Finally I got rid of this **** anxiety, which haunted me
from my first days at school to my last job,
these devastating thoughts of having to be better than everyone,
of being more, of deserving more
they just ate away at my soul
tearing myself apart
before hyenas did
their part.
 Sep 2014 Kagey Sage
Traveler
I faced the demon of lies who lives within my soul
Now there’s no way in hell I’d let your people go
I mortify my love in the fires of your pain
Burning eternally hot, did you spread my fame?
Blood red those evil eyes, sing a wicked lullaby
Relax, don’t cry, there’ll be time to pay when you die
Do you believe in sins redeemed, do you believe in dreams?

Let the sun beat down and shine on us
While we sing and dance, in god we trust
And when it rains which it eventually will
Let’s blame the devil for the rage we feel
Let every man, woman, boy and girl
Find their place in this crazy world
And crazier yet before we die
Let’s take a chance and believe some lies
Traveler Tim

re to 8-18
 Sep 2014 Kagey Sage
nivek
the make believe of childhood reads
always seemed the most real-
to me
 Sep 2014 Kagey Sage
B FUR
Take a look
At this decade's eternal light.
Youth, beauty, happiness.
In theory.
Is that how it was for our parents?

Top tags on this website
#depression #suicide #heartbreak
Are grandma's photo albums fairytales
Or has something changed

Without shame
Unmarked blame
Just a change

Perseverance died
At the doorstep of sarcastic self-deprecation,
Cool-to-be-lame facades,
Glorified depression, growing vines on glowing laptop walls
With a generation, fetal position, ripped jeans and eyeliner, inside

Self proclaimed ****
If you say it first
Those twisted lips of others
Won't press on such a fresh wound

And here we lose the metaphor

Cut yourself
So everyone else
Is picking at scabs

No one would hurt another
Who hurts themselves
Unless they're an ***
So the words are silenced
Are you stronger? Happier? Healthier?

And so we can always be safe
In our self loathing
Until puppy eyes and perfect pictures
Leave us hungry
Hurt by the people who don't mind being *****
Gaining assets, stealing rights from under
Our droopy dismal noses snapshot
Caption: **** up, let down, repeat. Hate me.
-politicians and companies will bash your head on rock bottom
Looking up in disbelief at chemical burns from Big Mac's
We'll look back down to pout about our pain.

The only way to save ourselves?
Perseverance
Positivity
Hope
Though I conveyed none of those emotions in this poem.
**** me.
I'm a hypocrite. But my point still stands.
Perhaps even stronger.
This is extremely negative and scattered, but I spent so long writing it I'm going to post it anyway. I can't believe what a hypocrite I am. I hope I make sense to at least one person. This also seems so mean when reading it but wow it's not supposed to be. I need to shut up and stop being so insecure about my writing and terrified of offending people. PHEW. WHY AM I RANTING SO MUCH I MIGHT JUST WRITE A MINI NOVEL. HERE. IN THE NOTES SECTION. This poem made me see how extreme my hypocrisy is when it comes to self insulting and just generally bringing myself down. I'm going start improving as of NOW! So yes, this poem is negative and scattered, yes I fear I haven't gotten across my thoughts at all, but I worked on this poem for a good while. I've gotten a **** load out of writing it and look I'm in all this reflection and self improvement because of, perhaps, a sub par poem. And I feel ******* fantastic. I feel so fine about myself right now I'm on the verge of talking about my much deeper insecurities in this little ******* note that's now longer than the actual thing I'm posting. Hahahaa I have 4 followers (hi Daniel) this is essentially a diary entry, but I don't care if 10,000 people see this!
I'm scared of disgusting people. Of course in a physical way with my appearance, but I'm mostly scared of a disgust different from that. I'm afraid of disgusting people with my confidence. I fear that if I'm laughing loudly, speaking my mind, or doing weird **** in public then people will think I'm confident. And they'll look at me with disgust because they can clearly see there's nothing for me to be confident about. They'll see me as a freak saying stupid and embarrassing things but my confidence blinds me and so I make a fool of myself while being silently pitied. And so for a long time I put myself down, to assure others I KNOW, I'M NOT BLIND, I SEE I'M A ******* IDIOT and I tried to portray as little confidence as possible because it felt better to act knowledgable about my flaws than act confident about, well, just existing. So I suppose a lot of this poem is about my old attitude, but I see that attitude in so many people I know and in this trendy teenage "alternative" media crap. Perhaps I'm putting my own thoughts behind the stuff I see, I don't know. I FEEL CONFIDENT IN THE VIBE I'M GETTING SO YEAH MAYBE I THINK I DO KNOW. YEAH. I have 3% battery. It's 2 32 am. This was an absurd adventure into my stream of consciousness, if anyone took the ride with me, I hope this brings some reflection for you as well :)
smoke-rings taunt the copycat spirit known as the ghost of my child’s mouth.  on top of that, the crib is giving me grief.  I click the remote at my wife’s body as she compares herself offline to nothing god can search.  the book of frenzied commonplace is stolen by the brother wearing the shoes I gave him to lift his mother at a later

from an earlier
time.  martyr starts before it ends.  a bald man with a comb tries hard to make it happen.  this cracks me so I have to speak on the pregnancy or bust atmosphere not in my house.
 Sep 2014 Kagey Sage
TigerEyes
She was a dreamer during the day, and a vampire at night
seeing ghosts around every corner in the light
She tried to wish them away for another day
closing her eyes reaching her hands toward the sky
sometimes falling down on her knees/down on her knees
on the pine scented ground she’d pray
whenever there were rainy clouds the sound of grey
wishing/wishing
them away
all around she’d try to listen, or look for signs in tree’s
even in the way her red flowers blew in the breeze
Yeah, she was a dreamer during the day, and a vampire at night
she tried to scare the ghosts away to take away her fright
wishing them away/wishing them away
for another rainy day/for another rainy day
All she heard was the sound of grey
Please take these ghosts away/that’s what she’d always say
sweep them away/sweep them away
I don’t want deal with them today
not today/not today…
Yeah, that’s what she would always say--
whenever/whenever/ she heard the sound of grey.
© 2014
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