Many would say
That I'm a fool
If I laid awake at night
And only thought of you

But what if these thoughts
Were not of love
And they were hate filled and murderous
Precisely planned, with a fitting glove

Would it be a waste
To plan such a thing
When it would take you away
Along with my pain and grief

So as I think of you now
The feelings come even stronger
I've seen the way it unfolds
And for you, it won't be much longer

I saw a lust in her pauses
Before she spoke

Weakened stops
Where she seemingly thought
Of which words to let go

As she stroked my ego
From her pro perspective

Her clues to give
As I elected for another drink

Her street smarts
Met by only her intellect

Her wits intersecting
The infectious reflections
Of the world we knew

On the brink of a kiss
Our faces
Increasingly grew powerless

In the shared haze
Of conversation
Tethering our connection

Nothing could stop us

As i slowly caved
And laid my hand
On top of hers

No longer hearing
A single word

Our eyes lazily locked
Blurring the exterior
Field of view

As it attempted to
Press through

With flashing lights
Electronic riffs
And melodic drums

Strummed
From the ambiance
Of the room

A love was groomed
And it grew

We just knew
Exactly what
Was what

Inching closer and closer

The force between us
Had proven to be too much

As we stood up
And walked to her car

I grabbed her waist
And lifted her to the trunk
Where we kissed

And we kissed
As the world slowly sunk
Around us

In breath-less-ness

Then Suddenly this
Feeling of pressure
Presses on my side

She had stabbed me
Then kicked me back
In my surprise

Then I was hit from behind
With a flash light

Cracking my head
In flashing colors
And regrets

I hit the ground
To a parade of feet

Two men kicked and stomped on me
As my blood was spilling
Into the street

Firing nine times i rose to my feet
Slowly walking over my victories

One was limp
The other convulsing

As the girl was crawling
On her hands and knees
Away from me
And toward a tree

She cried "please"
And "I'm sorry"
Over and over again

As I kicked her
Onto her back

Whimpering
And pleading
She raised her hands

And squeezed
Her eyes shut

"Love is not enough"

And with a flashing thump
I slumped away to my cave

Wounded in multiple ways
Reflecting on the mistakes i made
As i turned back toward the scene

Depraved
Of proper release

I returned to see
Investigators and yellow tape
Draping the stage of her fate

As she stared back at me
From the tree

Still possessing
A beauty that was
Beyond me

A beauty
That only
I could see

And it Sparkled
From her peace

She wanted me
And got me

And under the shadow
Of that tree

She looked as though
A pixie in the hand
Of a king

.

i use to think you cared,
but now you sit there scared.
your scared of being alone,
im sick of hearing you grown.
if you listened to the ones that mattered,
you wouldn't feel so ******* shattered.
i think i should just move on,
but ive loved u for way to long.

i hate to say i told you so,
but i have one thousand times before.
you know i'd love to see you sore,
but you've chain yourself down to the floor.
if i try to break u free,
there will be nothing left of me.

Done.
Done as burnt toast.
Done as a charred steak smoking on a grill.
Done as that exam I wrote today, with a cramped hand and shaken nerves.
Done as the leaves, now fallen from the trees and black with decay, becoming one with the earth.
Done as the corpse, now lying alone in her coffin.
Done as the whisper of a lost lover, whispering through the trees in the early morning.
Done as my soul on a Friday.

All around me, the sky with its deep shade of dark.
The stars.

The moon with its shrunken soul.
Can I become what I want to become?

Neither wife or mother.
I am noone and nobody is my lover.

I am afraid
that when I go mad,
my father will bow his downy head
into his silver wings and weep.

My daughter, O my daughter.