Ephemeral** euphoria
and abandoned memories.
These stains on my paper will
explain a lot more than my
poems ever will.
Left alone in the midst of this
troubled mind where once everything
swayed to the rhythm of my heart beat.
The tear sits at the corner of the eye wanting to roll down the cheek.
But how menacing would it be
if it rolled down ? I would be called a weak
hearted sensitive human.
Understanding my poor heart's misery isn't something that I could accomplish over the years.
Knives in my back and unexplained reasons for departure have nearly suffocated my existence.
How easy is it for somebody to just leave you behind after building up your castle of dreams brick by brick? How easy is it for your own people to bail on you? Living in uncertainties I have always learnt to sacrifice my happiness thinking that something better would come along. But all that comes along is disappointment. A sense of satisfaction is what I am lacking at this point and I don't know if my heart would ever be satisfied after all that it has been through. My life's like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle where pieces simply don't seem to fit. Why is it that the blame is always on me for everything I do ? Yes, I get attached ******. Yes, my heart falls too hard. Yes, my heart feels too much. Yes, I am emotional. It's not something in my hands. Stop asking me to change myself. There's nothing wrong with having a deep heart. There will be times when the pain would be immense but you have to live through it. Betrayals will find their way through and happiness will be taken away.
But you have to face it.
I honestly don't know how to create my own happiness because I tend to find my happiness in others. But nobody remains constant. People leave. People change. Some bring in delectation and some bring in agony and it depends on us how we take it. We have to learn to let few things go. I still haven't reached that stage or maybe that maturity where I'll be able to accept things and learn to adjust. But I surely know everything heals. The cuts heal but the scars remain which remind me of the battles I have been in and tell me how strong I am to embrace the pain and **** my misery.
It's okay not to be okay. Don't ever apologize for the very individual you are. All that is needed is a little bit of positivity. A little hope that helps you hold on.
The best is yet to come. :')
Pure feelings.