I cheated on her

I lay over the bed of mistakes
clothes all around and a naked body rubbing onto me,
my heart beats and I think of her
my love
my senses stop,
I forget to breathe
I question my existence

Why was I laying here with a woman I have never seen rather than with my love?
Memories flash;
I wave her goodbye promising to come home soon
she knows home is so far from the place I am going to.
Her eyes radiate pain, yet she smiles with agony, because of her undying love for me.

I rush to the bar,
football commentary fills up the noisy atmosphere
I chug one drink over another,
my love appears again and again to me, like an oasis
I want to run away, not make her seem like this.
Frustrated, tired
I look for someone/something focus upon,
blonde all pumped up woman meets my eye
she is eyeing me towards the upper room,
I shouldn’t, I mustn’t
I chug few more drinks
and think of all the time I was all alone,
how good life was,
she comes near me
how the girl waiting for me did.
She takes me to the upper room,
I leave all my morals and follow
the door closes...

I scream I cry
8 years of relationship
she was always there for me
she left her everything for me
and this is what I did in return
to sleep with an unknown woman
while she prays to the almighty
for my happiness
when in few hours
I took all of hers,
my love what have I done.

I will hide this,
it can be a nightmare which never happened
she never has to know
the devil inside me gave advice
the same devil because of whom
I cheated on her
the naked woman wakes up
dresses up and leaves
to her, I was just a one night stand
but to me, she was my eternal mistake.
I sit there,
thinking of all the memories I shared with love my life
how she was at my worst, my best.
I know she would forgive me,
if I tell her all of this.
She would be broken, the woman who held all my pieces together
I can't let this happen
I swallow the guilt
and look out the window
15th floor,
I am about to leap, so my death keeps her alive

my phone rings,
her face glow
her voice echoes#Cheating #sad #sapy
my heart wrenches in pain
I am sorry, I say repeatedly
and she realises what I have done
yet she consoles me,
throwing away all her hurt
and that's when I realised
She was the angel I never deserved

maybe
when you left
those scars
on my heart
i became
a beautiful poet.

Absence is a period with a period.

Visible, not visible, and repeat,
the mighty feat
the enduring human spirit
in the faith of subsidence of pain
that the book on the table
will be picked up and read again.

It keeps us going
the strength in the sense
too real is the presence.

Then a day
the book is taken away
the loved pens an ode
of absence definite
without a period.