unadded, exiled from the kingdom
i think back to his enchanting features
and weep bitterly, proclaiming:
oh, woe is me, a person exiled from
the city walls which guards against barbarians

god forgive me for
falling into temptations not of the devil
but of myself, my own musing:
forgive me for allowing myself to fall for him
forgive me for not trusting you

your body will
wrinkle and shrivel
crack and deform itself
into a tapestry of frailty and age

what then, will you have?
your best feature taken away from you
no more wages paid - nobody wants elders

weep bitterly, for your life will speak for itself
a life of virtual prostitution, and for what?
notoriety? money? what for?

at the end of the day, you’ll have the light
a beacon of hope that guided you through
listen for it, and it’s still small voice

it takes me captive, imprisoning me
in shackles i can’t shrug off

can’t feel my grief
can’t ******* rage
can’t grasp happiness
can’t see anything except
nothingness

it swallows my feelings whole,
absorbing my humanity
absorbing my soul
into something familiarly unrecognisable

i dream of
running my hands through
his black curls
but his heart is obsidian
and i am an iron pickaxe

please forgive me and lead me
to the path to your door
let me see your face and see the light
and demonstrate to me your might
vanquish what is sore
within me, beholding ye

now, he said he wanted another
said ‘sorry’ like it was a plaster
meant to coverup the hole in my heart
the blood overruns my chambers
my valves are clogged up
my ducts remain open and constantly run
warm water down my face

what did i expect?
for him to not like me, sure,
but nothing could prepare me for the
emptiness of the void of nothingness