E: Favorites

May 2013 E

sticky

May 2013 E

Amber S

sticky

"how bout a goodnight kiss?"
maybe if i had another sip of the liquid jolly rancher
or maybe if it had
been a
dream.
your callused hands were never mine to hold.
please, don't stare at me,
i need a place for this bucket of salt,
and you need a doctor for your wounds.
(i can't lick them up anymore)
"just a peck on the cheek, okay?"
still too much.
(i saw your heart throbbing in the flesh)
the sticky red, under my fingernails
persistent,
like you.
i was never yours.
i was never
yours.

May 2013 E

destruction

May 2013 E

Amber S

destruction

you make me

so unbelievably happy.

you make me

so unbelievably sad.

and i wish i could understand

how one person

can lift me to the stars

and then

hurl me to the darkest part

of the ocean.

May 2013 E

until next time

May 2013 E

Amber S

until next time

“i missed you”
you only say this because i was there next to you.
i smelled like apples and you had forgotten my long hair.
you only say this because the music gridded into us, and the
fog intertwined through our pores.
you only say you miss me when i’m close enough to miss.
you only say this because you took something of mine
i can never take back.
in a month,
maybe
a
week,
you’ll miss me, but not so frequently.
that ache in your heart will subside for a while.
you’ll forget the crisp smell, the touch of silk.
until next time,
until next time.

May 2013 E

my past tastes like peppermint

May 2013 E

Amber S

my past tastes like peppermint

i wear my insecurities like my eyeliner, bold,
thick, never exactly matching,
never exactly perfect.
i embrace my flaws, like i shake
my *** when i dance,
unsteady. wild, a flame that festers
and blossoms.
i kiss my demons, like i eat a
milkshake, salivating, slurping,
a lover with no inhibitions.

i do not wear my insecurities,
instead i shove them down my throat,
hoping the stomach acid will dissolve.
destroy. them.
i do not embrace my flaws,
instead i push them back hard,
watching them fall to the ground and
break like glass.
i do not kiss my demons,
instead i spit in their faces, bite on
their cheeks until the hot, pulsing
tastes like
peppermint.

May 2013 E

rest

May 2013 E

Arabella

rest

And as a lay in bed
for hours on end
I try to create my own
lullaby.

For my dreams
have seemed to run away,
and nightmares
are the only thing that keep my company.
Leaving each night
a never ending race
for sanity.

Like a sweet breeze,
I whisper
into the silent
soft air
"I love you"
"I love you"
"I love you"
And I am reminded that my tongue will never get tired
of the taste of those words.

And every night,
As I watch you walk away,
I can't help but follow.

No matter how long it will be,
your tune
will be stuck in my head.

So for this one last night,
I beg you
too sing me to sleep again,
with your
sweet
sweet
lullaby.
In hopes that one day
I can sing my own.

this one is kinda old and definitely needs some editing, but a friend asked to see it so yes, here it is.