i wanted to
sit next to you
absorb
you
i wanted to
lean into you
feel
you
i wanted to
see how your shoulder felt
against my cheek
i wanted to
have you
put your arm
around me
just to see
how it felt
i wanted to
feel
you

sunny days that make your eyes/heart ache
damp, sticky nights
lying in your bed
finally this is happening
my stomach, tight as a clenched fist
cold sweats and shallow breathing
watching you and I'm mesmerized
crawling to you, so weak and helpless
blissful ignorance
so easy to take my clothes off
with your eyes coaxing me
the dim lights, comfort in the loud, thumping beat
your hands - urgent, gentle
tugging, squeezing, stroking
the raw, delicious feeling in my groin, needing you
such a powerful attraction, I could cry
I'm crying
why/how do you do this to me
STOP
I just want to run away from you and never look back
just let me be. I can never be
without you

I want to be
comfortable
In my home
in my work
in my relationships

I want to
crave
indulge
share
and be sated

I want
passion
joy
and abundance
surrounding me

I want a life
worthy saving
worth sharing
worth passing down
to others

I am dying to know
If the way your fingers swept through mine
Was simply an accident
Or if you meant something by it
Is the way I catch you staring at me
Something I make up in my head
Because I want you to be staring at me
I sit here waiting for you to say something
Well why don’t I?
I am nervous
I am shy
I am just a simple guy
Could you love me?
I ‘ll never know unless I try
Move past my insecurities
Build up some confidence
And let my feelings float freely
Because every time we separate
And I still call you ‘just a friend’
It kills me

I feel it.
It’s inside me.
The ever-present
Emptiness
I seek to fill.
Nothing ever seems to be able
To fill it.

Music?
The sound echoes through the silence
But isn’t intense enough.

Tears?
They just pour into an endless chasm
Leaving me feeling emptier than before.

Laughter?
A feeble attempt at cramming the vacuum
With that loud, happy (?) breathlessness.

Hugs?
Not even the tightest can reach
Those deep, dark depths.

I just feel
Hollow.

Not knowing
Why.

I fell in love
a thousand times
as your light shines
within my eyes.
but I must imply
of its demise
heartache arises
as you pass me by