I open my phone to noise
I find peace in the silence between us
I open my heart to dream
My brain tears it up with nightmares
My throat aches for an ongoing scream
Music doesn't reach me
Everything is touching me at once and yet I am so alone
Floating in space, a forever changing soul
New to the world and hurt by it all
Invited by some yet welcomed to none
I am just another plank in this series of planes
The dimensions are parallel and nothing touches me
I'm untouchable and strong
Independent but altogether wrong
I dream and I wish and I manifest
And I will bring myself all the best
I love my body, its heart and its art
The flesh, the ink
I start to sink
I am more earth and bone
I am not nothing I am not mere
I am here
Not so far gone after all, but rather near
I'm grounded and sinking deeper
I'm buried and swaddled
I am my own keeper
I am here for a reason
But I will indulge myself in change, evolve with each season
I am that new soul that can be molded into anything
I melt between fingers and I use my own hands
I am my own creator
My wishes are demands

the clouds hide low in the sky
looking like a mountainside
I don't know if I'm going the right way
But I'm going my way
If love is a lie, let's be liars
Let us lie down side by side
Until time takes us like the ocean tide

If the timing doesn't fit like your favorite flannel, will you blame me or time?
Will you shout at me or will you shout at the world? Will you shout at me because I am your world?
Am I the world that brings you chaos and disorder?
Or am I the piece of peace that makes you want to grow older?
Love is the problem, not us.
We are poisoned by its ferocity, we are victims to its wrath.
We are angry and tired but it's love talking, not us
Love has grabbed us by the jaws and unhinged our destructive thoughts
It has left us together but separate, it has left us craving more than we ought

Love is a triumph
It is war disguised as peace
Love is violent and volatile
And it eventually conquers all
destroying and reforming everything in its path
Before it we fall
On our knees
Like before a god
It humbles us,
makes us weak
It takes sacrifices
And our offerings are never enough

If I am smudged eyes and soft lies
I hope you are clear sight and honest plight
We bite off more than we can chew
So we succumb to the ache of broken jaws
We question the universe and its laws
You are abundant and I am barely there
I am holding onto your image through stares
You are too little and I am too much
Because I can never get enough
But I have my hopes up
We keep trying as if pleading to a god
But there is no god, only love and too much of it
Only pain and a whole future to entertain
I play with the future in my brain
It looks nothing like yours but I keep molding it like clay until that day

I'm going to miss the way the light comes through these windows
I already miss how it hits your skin in the morning
Dogs at my feet, whining without warning
Humble breakfasts, feelings outpouring-
We were laying right here when you first said I love you
It felt too soon but now I wish I could count and swallow each one
I'm hungry for what we had once
We were drunken nights, fires, and an occasional good song
It wasn't healthy but it wasn't wrong
Each argument felt like a battle won
But we've been warriors for too long
It's time to come home
I'm walking away but I keep looking back
I forgot what home looks like without you
And I never wanted to find out
Love is a river and today is a drought
If your home is on fire, do you save something special or do you put it out?
The flames have dampened but the smoke still chokes me to tears
It burns with memories and fears
I wish I could wake up next to you one more time
I'd trace your tattoos with my eyes and try to memorize
I'd feel the warmth of your skin and never ask for fire again
But I am a hearth and I can't tame my own flame
You made me crazy but you kept me sane
And now I must confront forever and wait for my feelings to wane

Painfully wait for when 'I love you no matter what'
Becomes I love you- no.
don't matter.
what?

Today is upstream and I shiver in your wake
We're something groundbreaking, another earthquake
But what about groundfixing
Be the cement to my loose soil
I'll fall on bloodied knees to your concrete smiles

Yesterday was downstream
The taste of summer beguiles
We shimmer in the reflection of flames
We dance around what we need to say
But my heart remains contained
Run your hands through my roots
And plant me somewhere soon