Death.
I've pondered on that topic
countless times
and every time
I revisit it,
It brings new things
Since I was 6
I've always thought of the idea
of death
or people around me dying
What pains me the most
is after all these years
I realised
people go on with their dying
no matter what you do
I can't seem to be able to
cherish the time I have with the people
around me enough
Death scares me
a
lot
I mean,
Why do people come into your life,
make an impact
change you
make you love them,
then leave.
Just like that.
Why do people say goodbye
and leave you there
in all the pain and agony
What's even worse
is when they leave out of choice
It makes you think that you could
have done something
but no one did
and then there is blaming
and regret
and sadness
and bitterness
and
lots of crying
I've never experienced it
just witnessed it
and I keep fearing the day
I would be the one feeling
all these things
and
not just observing
What kind of sane kid imagines their family dying... then try to prepare. then fail.
I've been preparing for that day for as long as I can remember. Is it going to help? Most probably not. I'll go insane probably. Im so attached to things, its scary.