Tawny,  I stretch,  I yawn,
No need for this cat to fawn,
What's for tea? I don't say please,
Feed me, or I'll give you fleas,
Once a queen of Egypt, somehow,
Hello there, humans, cat says meow.........

Here is a nonsense ode,
About the chicken crossing the road,
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why are its motives being questioned?
Maybe the chicken had the best of intentions,
Perhaps the road moved, eh,
And the chicken stayed,
Yes, the abstract road, still, did remain,
But, pure and simple, here's the nub,
The chicken crossed the road to go to the pub,
Yes, that was its good intention,
A day at the pub, beer inventions,
Why are the chicken's motives questioned?

Clothes may make a man,
Or, indeed, any woman,
Do you frock up to delight?
Are you a vampire of the night?
Do you look good? Perhaps,
Strut your stuff, chicks and chaps,
You wait till you get old,
You're invisible, you're told,
So, enjoy being young, so clever,
Bad luck, youth does not last ever!

An open letter to chicks  like thee,
You wait until you're nearly sixty-three,
You'll end up talking like me,
You'll sound like the Dead Grandmas Society,
Fine-thinking women, very snippy,
Got no time for nasties and rudies,
"What's this?" "What's for tea?"
"A plate of good manners from me!!"
(And the Dead Grandmas Society!)
A fact of life, real scary,
When you're nearly sixty-three,
Words appear from the clouds, prithee,
You'll sound like the Dead Grandmas Society.......

The Eagle did land,
In the Israelites' hands,
The eagle was candid,
When Our Lord landed,
The brain game's the same,
Humans still play it the same,
Weapons of mass destruction,
Hell is obliteration,
We should aim high, Our Father
Would Peace on Earth rather,
Once upon a lifetime,
In an instant of rhyme,
The Eagle was candid,
When Our Lord landed!













,

Sizzling day of summer heat,
Requisite hydration I really need,
No rain, no precipitation today,
Brilliant azure, no clouds this day,
I stood alone, poised, impermeable,
Damp crystallisation so feasible,
From this diving board I spring,
Invigorate me, I commence to sing,
But! I forgot I'm way too old,
Man, this water's really cold!!!!!!

It was the end of our days,
The closure of olden ways,
A real vintage train,
Souvenir of a passing parade,
A blast from the past,
We cheered as it rolled on, at last,
Shall we see those days again?
The revival of steam trains,
No, it was all part of change,
It was the end of our days,
The closure of olden ways.......

How is the ex treating you?
Somedays it's a bit like a zoo,
Recriminations and regrets,
People you'd rather forget,
Amicable divorce not self-evident,
Happy-ever-after so  not manifest,
Added to your survivor baggage,
All part of your mental luggage!
Somedays, it is a bit like a zoo,
How is the ex treating you?

It's a shame I don't drink,
I sit here and think,
As I'm here in the bar,
Love is like algebra,
Look, your ex is gone,
No need to rave on,
Who cares why they carry on?
That's why they're now gone,
Get over it and move on...
X looks at Y,
and wonders why,
Well, love was blind,
Old Shakespeare does pine,
You must get on with life,
We agree and sigh,
I'm here in this bar,
True love is like algebra!

Yes, these walls do have ears,
Or so it appears,
And the doors have eyes,
that is a surprise,
Like that old reprise,
The house has a thousand eyes,
maybe we all tell lies,
That's my surmise,
Part of being human, I suggest,
No one's perfect, I  guess.....

Yes, these walls do have ears,
Or so it appears,
And the doors have eyes,
that is a surprise,
Like that old reprise,
The house has a thousand eyes,
maybe we all tell lies,
That's my surmise,
Part of being human, I suggest,
No one's perfect, I  guess.....

Our garden's masterpiece,
Fairies in each fleur-de-lis,
Blossoms of gauzy glory,
Perennial veils of fairy stories,
Beribboned spangled treasury,
Fairies flitting so flowery,
Our queen of ruby roses,
Posies for all, one supposes,
Flowerets the best cuddle,
Essence of Spring, residual,
There are fairies in the flowers in the garden,
One ruby rose--then a garland!

The full moon appeared,
Shone on me all night here,
I arose, a new version,
I turned into an evil person,
Yes, instead of smiling and kind,
It was Lucrezia Borgia time.....
"What is for lunch?' Indeed,
"Why it's mushrooms for thee!"
Lucrezia declaims,
"Things are not the same,
What can I poison today?"
See what the full moon's done to me,
Lucrezia Borgia is now cooking tea!
Would you call me a living legacy?

Where did you go to, Doris Stokes?
Do you  still talk to ghosts?
Doris is now a ghost, folks,
Did she just want to get on the telly?
Did the ghosts ever get on her nelly?
Or was she telepathic,
Or only telepathetic?
So, who now talks to ghosts,
Or erstwhile Doris Stokes?

THE  GIFTS THE DRUIDS FORGOT...

The gifts the Druids  forgot,
Imagination or a load of rot?
Envisioning future along the track,
Looking forward, not looking back.
Miracles and prophet's dreams,
Mystic lands blessed by moonbeams,
Heroes and inspiring queens,
Appearing in transit, sight unseen,
Imagination or a load of rot?
The gifts the Druids forgot....

As I look around my home,
In my garden,  I see gnomes,
Sitting on their little domes,
Do they think, these gnomes?
Are they philosophical, I wonder,
As garden weeds I plunder,
What are you guys staring at?
I'm gardening, okay, that's that!
Consider the garden gnomes,
Sitting there on their little domes,
Cute, but ugly, little misters,
I find them a trifle sinister............

(Farewell to an aged brother, RIP).
His good ole days are still to be,
In football heaven, in eternity,
Looks at the face of heaven, does he,
He rewound his music, so country,
He got them all back, you see,
His wife, his old dog, his car, no needs,
Pray his good ole days are still to be......

This, the thin end of the green wedge,
Suburban bushland at society's edge,
listening to party platforms,
can anyone believe such reforms?
Yes, election time in anxious Australia,
Who is to be our climate saviour?
We hear spellbinding visions,
Are these swept away by ambitions?
Insatiable appetites of giant companies,
I thought the land of Oz was for you and me.....

Yes,  I was born a helper, the Elf,
Though thanks were left on the shelf,
Buddy the Elf is no fighter,
Smiling in peace makes us lighter,
Helpers find solutions, you see,
I am nice to people so nasty,
All I can say is, "Good for me!"

When might was not right,
An inferno of genocide,
For all those in the Holocaust,
A tribute to everyone lost,
Widespread slaughter, the cost,
The massacre of the Holocaust,
Catastrophe of mass extinction,
People lost in extermination,
All the survivor baggage,
Of such destructive carnage,
The world had to see the light,
Finally, when might was not right.

When do we knock off?
Home offices, not for toffs,
I stagger to the desktop,
Yikes, another job!
Guess it won't take me long,
******* my phone, my new song,
We can afford gas for cars vehicular,
But not allowed anywhere particular,
So, we work in the home office,
Jobs designed for masochists!

The Interview.

My agenda today is an interview,
I'm looking forward to meeting you.
Come along, sit right down, have a beer,
Waiting for this chat, my dear,
I'm asking, "Can you make me happy?"
You look an intelligent chappy!
What does make women happy? Let's chat,
If you please women, they'll give you a clap.
Do you always wear a kind smile?
Grace for women, for a long while.
Do you aim to manipulate?
This women do not appreciate!
Do you yell and swear and bluster,
No, to women, you won't pass the muster,
Are you a man of peace?
Yes, that would really please!
Yes, that would make me happy!
A peaceful, loyal smiling chappy!

Now, let's conclude this interview,
I did so enjoy this chat with you!

A pensioner's long walk today,
Yes, the mailman's been, no yah!
What  bills did arrive this way?
Postman, postman, stay away,
I am putting up a sign,
"BAN THE BILLS!' about frigging time!
If all bill payers went on strike,
Bills would go down, not upwards hike,
Yes, it's that dreaded long walk again,
Should I throw the bills down the drain?
A gutter too far, or in the bin?
Bringing us bills is the postman's great sin,
Can't afford that, can't afford that,
"I'll shoot you, postman, now don't come back!"
Is shooting postmen a capital offence?
"BAN THE  BILLS!" on everyone's fence!

Fresh is the air in the morning,
Flowers my garden are adorning,
Feral cats in the day are yawning,
Fun in your eyes I am adoring,
Friendship is our glory,
Full of maybe a new story,
Fantasies are for the creating,
"F" is the letter I am relating..........

What does this letter stand for ----"M"?
Now read along, ahem, "M",
"M" stands for mummies,
Magnets for mess,  and dummies,
"M" is for maestro,
Opera tonight? Bleeped if I know,
"M" is for misogynist,
Broomsticks up exes' male blips!
To women, they are not God's gift,
Yes, "M" is for misogynist!

Who is the most important in this life?
Has to be the Saviour,  Christ!
We cherish Him all year round.
A humble Faith is to be found,
He never gives up on anyone,
Always there  for everyone,
You don't have to believe, of course,
Life is better with Jesus on board,
You can be too religious, I guess,
Keep it to yourself, no less,
Indeed, that's what some sayeth,
True Love can be found in Faith!!!!

Where to be found?
Lost world where Love abounds,
Adult friendly cities,
Only smiles for all, prithee,
Like the Garden of Eden,
Our Planet preceding,
After anarchy
and bigotry,
Our visions shall achieve,
Our human dreams,
A lost world found,
Where Love and Peace abound.......

Who has missed the boat?
The ancient mariner's futile gloat,
He lost the albatross,
In his own wilderness,
Nostalgia has its limits,
For one old hypocrite,
His gathering gloom,
Sleeping alone in his room,
He needs a change of outlook,
Maybe a new nonsense book,
He makes his sharing an artform,
Spam his mindset does deform,
His bluster and BS does float,
Yes, the ancient mariner's missed the boat!

Men have great ideas in bed,
Including when they're duly wed,
Why is that, do you ask?
Plugging into a genius is the task!
The woman of the day of course,
Love is an incredible force,
Inspiration, creation,
Can lead to innovation,
Plugging into a genius is the quest,
Women can handle it the best!

Have some more scones with jam and cream,
And a mound of spuds for tea,
Then you'll find your obesity,
With them carbs will be your mortality,
It is your responsibility,
To limit your own gluttony,
There are, indeed, bad calories,
Carboholics eat too much, you see!

This is a sordid tale to read,
What does existence mean
To your toilet brush, prithee?
He is, indeed, a basic fellow.
He does not bother with mellow yellow,
Everyone's blip stinks to he,
So what does his existence mean?
Angst in scheissenhausen time,
Being there is his problem in slime,
To your toilet brush, he or she,
What does existence mean?

I contemplated, but not alone,
On an ancient poet's ode,
A lover and a scribbler composed,
"Nunc scio quid est amor..." Oh?
"Now I know what true love is..." No woe,
As I reflect on a spiritual road,
I ponder on, where pomegranates grow,
As venerable Horace did compose,
A love divine, true love, and never alone.....

There's a secret men's club,
Of men at the pub,
We are men, we drink beer,
Loud laughter over here,
Slap shoulders, cheers,
We are men, we drink beer,
Bring the barmaid over here,
Let's drink beer, cheers,
Loud laughs and leers,
"I'll give you one, my dear!"
Men laugh, say, "Hear, Hear!"
Chicks walk by smiling,
What are babes thinking?
"Underwhelming,
Have a look at them,
They're no excuse for men!"
Men laugh and don't care,
More beers over here,
There's a secret men's club,
All the men down at the pub.

On the street
Man and woman
Passing by,
Fleeting glance
Old romance,
Brief recognition
Reflected in silent eyes,
Mirrors of regret......

Say you make a movie of life,
In mine, I've survived lots of strife,
A cast of fake friends,
Useless so-called men,
Maybe I attract cavemen,
Emotional manipulation,
These days I manage great,
A film of life, mine wouldn't rate!

It was the Earth's dawning,
The beauty of nature forming,
No mankind has even yet been born,
And the wondrous nature formed,
All pristine, no footprints seen,
Time elapsed, no one to measure it,
Only natural wonders the globe to fit,
Then, there came the humans, that's that,
How to wreck our own habitats!
Sad, but true, now to rue,
What was our natural world to you?

This is a window on the world,
Written by a once time girl,
Guidelines for chicks and men,
A new set of commandments,
Take these for what they're meant,
Be yourself, all chicks and dudes,
Let it all go, we learn in life's long school,
Act the way you want to feel,
You can pretend smiles, which are real,
Do it now, procrastinate later,
Ignore distractions, they're to bait ya!
Lighten up, think of funnies,
Do stuff, even if you don't need money,
Be polite, stay in touch, friends old and new,
Be kind, not exploited, all of you,
Less is more of things to do......
New commandments from me to you!

In walked the other woman,
Casting her net at the "Man",
At first, I felt timid,
Then I felt livid,
Threatened, indeed,
This is worth  a read,
The other woman was waiting,
Love anticipating,
Then I was awaiting,
All that manipulating,
"Marry him, other woman!
Please take this "Man"!
Please take him off my hands!
I'll give you champagne,
To remove this old pain!"
No, no, I'm still awaiting,
Other woman, do stop waiting........

Does my computer dream?
Is this puzzle what it seems?
What are a computer's dreams?
Maybe dreams exist in this machine,
The outsider in my room,
Designed to make us feel like fools,
Addictions seductive,
Hitech savvy so productive,
A puzzle, so it seems,
Does a computer ever dream?

Way back when, in olden days,
Did you all play those old board games?
Snakes and ladders, you see,
Internecine family rivalry,
The last snake does you in,
Then your little sister gets to win,
Then there's Monopoly,
Breeding ground for hostility,
"Having fun, all you kids?"
Who took off Monopoly's lid?
It's a big ******* of a game,
Sisterhood is never the same,
Way back when, in olden days......

Isn't football such an event?
Listen to the philosopher's lament,
Old Socrates barracked for his team,
In the AFL, worst you've ever seen,
Socrates gazed at the replay,
Groaned, "We lost again!"
So he drank hemlock and gin,
Slit his wrists, did himself in,
Drowned in his phony spa,
His ghost calls down from afar,
"The premiership is what is meant!"
Woe, Socrates' eternal lament!

Who really has world power?
Think on this while you shower,
If you own the coffee or tea,
You own the home, prithee,
That's molls' rules, you see,
"Do you want a cup of tea?"
Our magic word is 'please',
Be nice to tea ladies,
Or there's no more coffee or tea,
Is that power, or what?
Tea ladies rule, so what!

I touch your skin,
It keeps your insides in,
I touch your face,
Your smile of grace,
A touch of love,
Your blessing as a dove,
I touch your hand,
You're a pearl of a man,
You touch my heart,
I hope we never part,
The power of touch,
Can we ever love enough?

A stroll down memory lane,
Visit my old tutor again,
He always used to say,
"Wisdom, like beauty, comes with age!"
So, I meandered through life's long stage,
Now I'm old and ugly and grey,
Waiting for this wisdom to come with age......

When Elijah comes again,
We'll all turn the page of sin,
He is not the Lord,
But a voice of awe,
Heaven above, earth below,
Fire within, ever to glow,
Divine life and love on Planet Earth,
One vision and one dream,
Amity and no more bigotry,
One global fellow humanity,
Ceasing hostilities, such sin,
When Elijah comes again.

Yes, there is football again today,
The melodrama in the usual way,
Like ancient dramas, the crowds,
The roars and chorus, free kicks allowed!
His team are losing again,
Do they have a winning vein?
Television the negative conduit,
He enjoys being sad, leave him to it!
Find something else to do in another room,
Yes, chicks can have crafternoon,
That's craft and reading for me and you,
Just throw chocolate at him and  zoom!]
Why? It's  a football afternoon!

Would that we were a tortoise, or a snail,
A portable house for a lifelong trail,
You could take your home without fail,
Add a letterbox for your mail,
A human tortoise or a snail,
A mobile home along the trail..........

Was Asimov a prophet?
Look at the rise of robots!
Can they gain artificial intelligence?
Isn't that what old Isaac meant?
When the slaves become our overlords,
Who invented that dumb thought?
Was Asimov a prophet?
Look at the rise of robots........

The road less travelled,
Personal choices unravelled,
You meet the wrong person in life,
You descend into his strife,
Best to stay remote and aloof,
"Write it a doctor's!" I say, you goof,
Where would my life have gone, eh,
Much ado about nothing today!

So, these are my piety years,
A Christian gal lives here,
Jesus is a sweet name, my dears,
He is still in his blessing  years,
Time to stop stressing with fears,
No need for crocodile tears,
In our co-dependency years,
Faith sets us all free, you see,
True liberation for you and me........