I guess weird is wonderful, eh,
Let's place the fair in welfare today,
Yeah, right, a quest for all our pollies,
Myriad challenges for equity,
True, misery loves comedy,
Someone writes their political scripts,
Listening to Parliament gives me the blip,
Best to off turn the switch,
Pray for a Lazarus economy,
Yes, misery loves comedy.....
But, really not that funny!

Way back when, when I was a teen,
I missed the morning 7:17,
The train was cancelled again,
Nothing changed, missed connections, pain!
I read it the other day, okay?
Still cancelling the 7:17 each day!

It's Christmas here down under,
We gaze at the Star with a sense of wonder...
To the Lord we are all a missing link,
Jesus smiles at the people inc!

If Monday was a person,
Maudlin would be the lesson,
"Oh no, not another Monday."
"What became of Sunday funday?"
Yes, it's Monday, so it seems,
Same old dreary routine,
Back to the rat race again,
Commuting by car or train,
Wage slaves, off for gain,
Maudlin Monday on their brain,
"Yes, it's Monday, so it seems,
Same  old dreary  routine."

I gaze at his famous painting,
A lily pond for reflecting,
His focus for serenity,
His gift of tranquillity,
So, thank you, Monet, for your legacy........

What does moonlight sound like?
Like glistening pearls, crikes!
Moonlight sounds like tranquillity,
Glowing, soft serenity,
Moonlight sounds silent to me,
Shining through space eternally,
Moonlight beams down on us,
Yes, moonlight sounds lustrous!

Mothers know best, or do they?
We get used to anything these days,
It is all conditioning in these ways,
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?  I say,
Because he conditioned it! Hey, hey,
Mothers know best, or so they say,
Who is conditioning whom today?

Can you hear Beethoven down the years?
His Fifth symphony can move you to tears,
I listened to his music alone,
His deafness, his music in tomes,
Can you hear Beethoven down through the years?
His Fifth symphony can move you to tears........

My mother, Sylvia Plath,
These days, I might laugh,
Electric oven, you know,
I was too young to know,
One way to go--
It was an electric stove!
I was too young to know,
I used to live in dread,
I learnt what blackmail meant,
She got cremated, you know,
I was too young to know,
These days, I might laugh,
My mother, Sylvia Plath.

Gal force got this,
Seven weeks flowed,
Hips slimmer, no less,
Must confess bloating
Shrank, no moo juice,
Unkind, but no coffee,
Reducing toxins
You see, it's tough,
Quiet pacing,
Slow down, destrss,
Meditate on peace,
Pre-emptive rest,
Some day, maybe,
Better sleep now,
Less **** brain,
Broth all the way,
Veggies per day,
All good here,
How about you?

When there ain't no mutual respect,
Must stop thinking about the ex......
How much can a koala bear?
Coping mechanisms abound here,
There is no turning back,
*******--cut women some slack!
When there ain't no mutual respect,
Gotta stop thinking about the ex......

Here in my old lady's den,
I retreat and reflect, do you ken?
I can hide from everyone,
Introversion can be fun!
I scribble verse s I meditate,
I close the door and welcome faith,
Shhhh! Pray in silence, as our Bible sayeth!

Here's a verse, not too long,
All about my favourite song,
It's, of course, "I will survive",
A heart that's kind is always alive,
Who cares who is a winner?
In life, I have survived a grinner!

My faith means to me,
For all I see, smiles,
Plan to lead their hopes,
Scope of our prayers,
Power to each pal,
Senior gal does send,
Jesus shows up today,
His gift, don't drift!

(To the tune of "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree!)
Today, I was offered a job, prithee,
Tutoring crims in literacy,
Silent reading for all the he's,
I'd be part of their conspiracy,
They'd all have a million dollars, you see,
Buried under the jail's old oak trees,
For their chicks and kids to live comfortably,
That's why they like gardening, you see,
It looks like the gophers have been,
The crims have left the scene!
They swiped the prison bus,
Forgot about "Literacy and Us!"
The governor put the blame on me!
So much for teaching prison literacy,
Now there's lots of holes under the jail's old oak trees,
Yes, the gophers have been,
The crims have left the scene,
All with a million dollars, you see,
Well, they learnt to spell 'conspiracy',
That was my job teaching literacy!

My ode to shorts---
We look like fat dorks,
When it's not so cold,
Even if we're so old,
Can't hide varicose veins,
Old age doesn't go away,
We know we look dorby,
We're all well past forty,
Summer's so **** hot,
This heat's a bit of a shock,
We all know we're fat dorks,
Has anyone really thought
We'd look good in shorts?

Here is my new recipe,
One for you and me,
Peace recipe, you see,
Take a tinch  of Faith,
Add a dash of human grace,
Stir in some Tolerance, indeed,
Mix with a universal creed,
Bake with a smile,
Won't take a while,
This is my new recipe,
One for you and me,
My Peace recipe, you see......

No Imelda Marcos, she,
One good pair of shoes for me,
Plain, flat, sensible, black,
No **** high heels, alack,
But I can walk where I want to be,
One good pair of shoes for me!

What, indeed, is an enigma?
Shrouded in mystery, to bemuse ya!
A mystery wrapped in enigma,
A paradox with no stigma,
Expand into our phenomena,
A mystery wrapped in enigma........

My parents named me Julie,
Have a  famous namesake in history,
Like great Julius Caesar,
Another Julian house afar,
In Roman days, times far,
So, hail, big Julie,
Writing is my living legacy........

Here's a tale of the future, it's
Big things from small particles, bits,
Called Nanoparticles, new natural,
We'll dance their syncopation as normal,
Yes, "From little things big things grow!"
How far shall we with nanos go?
Duty-free DIY helpful, it's
Our future ahead, Nano bits!

Off to a distant planet,
In a spaceship with our best,
What would you take, Nasa?
What of our culture really matters?
Books of lit. and Maths,
Maybe faith, perhaps,
Music, art and maps,
Or a book of isms.
to start new religions,
or the history of the human race,
Send it all into outer space,
In a spaceship with our best,
Star trekkers one day, I guess,
Nasa's vast plan, no less......

National disasters,
Plebs' hollow laughter,
Floods and bushfires,
Natural land afire,
The state of the economy,
A national disaster for you and me,
Still, some people have jobs,
With hiring you should hobnob,
Plebs' hollow laughter,
Our national disasters,
Too funny not,
Whose hiring for jobs?

I was asked to create a holiday,
What about a pyjama day?
We would not get dressed at all,
Stay in bed, hide and stall,
Sit around in flannelette,
Stay in PJ's, don't get dressed,
In fact, don't wash or cook,
Do mental slumming with ****** books!

Here, in Oz, the rats want to sink the ship,
The embrace of Putin is becoming hip,
It riles the heartland of the Oz,
Not the peaceful land it was,
Why a nation divided, not the best,
We're all one Oz, the rich and the rest.......

Needed, air,
Humanity gasps,
Beyond care....

No, my mother atheist said,
Long live cricket, God is dead,
Debbie Downer's Nihilist thoughts,
Total negativity she taught,
This is Debbie Downer's doormat daughter,
Saturday sportsmen off to slaughter,
Yes, God is dead,
Long live extreme sports,
That's what Negative Norma said.

I did eat brown rice, one day,
Yeeeccch, never again,
Then was wholemeal pasta, eh!
Yeeecccch, never again,
I did at that café,
Yeeeeccch, never again!

We are all spark people, I believe,
Always evolving, ideas we conceive,
I believe no one is alone,
We bring our sacred space home,
We must have faith in destiny,
The future of humanity,
We pass our baton on the young,
Their steps on Earth have just have begun.......

Nurses know best,
Better than the rest,
Nurses do the basics,
Drugs for all,
Including Lasix,
Never mind, they'll say,
Better tomorrow than today,
You'll improve each day,
Never mind, be home soon,
That's their daily tune,
Never mind, never mind,
Words fixed firmly in time,
Better than the rest---
Nurses know best!!

Yes, once I did a newsboy job,
With a newsagent I did hobnob,
Our little town at four o'clock,
In depths of winter, quite a shock,
In New Blithering I did search,
Why did Heathcliff leave me in the lurch?
Not to be a drama queen,
I did retire from that scene,
It was quite amusing I say,
Second breakfasts every day,
No wonder we were obese and fat,
No longer a newsboy, that's that!

News flash! What's it worth?
Today's the last day of Planet Earth,
What would you do today?
What last words would you say?
Dance like there's no tomorrow,
Genocide has no one left for sorrow,
So what would you do and say,
If today was Earth's last day?

Note well, all you New Year's mad hatters,
It's the future that really matters,
With all your joyous bevies and beers,
Blazing fireworks and raucous cheers,
What does really matter,
All you party hearty mad hatters?
What's our New Year's resolutions,
As we commence our anticipation?
What about peace as liberation?
Or making extinct extinction,
For all our human population,
And our animal populations?
Can we think of any new solutions,
Beyond reafforestation?
How can we end terrorism?
Which masks the real perdition--
Running the world on munitions....
Very unpopular thoughts, my dears,
One of my muse's strange ideas,
How can we create a better place,
For everyone in the human race?
So, all you New Year's mad hatters,
It's all our futures that matter.

I'm a midnight sneak,
At Google I'll peek,
My eyes grow round and glow,
It's well after midnight, you know,
I'll filch some treats,
Addictions need sweets,
I'm quite house trained,
Computer feeds my brain,
All alone in this darkened room,
Stalking through Google's runes,
Is that five am to prowl?
Shhhh, I'm insomniac midnight Owl!

As the Bible did me told,
I was young, now I am old,
A message in words like whispers,
Old bags, in no immediate danger,
A peaceful heart is the trick,
Stay away from dipsticks!

No man can understand,
There's Spring Cleaning in our land,
Mrs. Mop and Clean waves her hand.
Snoring is his male band,
Not to worry, no time to sup,
Gals want to sparkle up,
One shelf at a time,
Spray and wipe sublime.,
Fresh is the cupboard smell,
Charity bags cast their spell,
All tidy now, so it seems,
Polished the dog, he gleams,
Must detox my brain,
Wasting thoughts quite inane,
Declutter world still revolving,
Spring Cleaning is evolving!

Here, I dwell in no man's land,
Avoiding an oligarch's strand,
Are chicks alone the happier band?
Alone but never lonely, man,
Quality friends are in my band,
Always been a helping hand,
Serenity and peace not so bland.
Alone, but never lonely, man,
Here, I dwell in no man's land.

No need, indeed, chaff and chatter,
Positive hocus focus, doesn't matter.

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be, okay?
Whose ashtrays are they, anyway?
Your rose-coloured glasses are the way,
Gilding those dim, dark, distant days,
All this romantic foggy haze,
Wasn't that great, let's me say,
All water under the bridge these days,
Survivor baggage best kept at bay,
No need for maudlinity today,
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be, okay?

Once I was a teen,
That's when Mum got mean,
Dragged us off on long drives,
Her whinging did give me hives,
Maybe she could not hack us growing,
Autonomy we wanted knowing,
We tried not to be like our mother,
Turned each into totally another,
Nag, nag, nag and moan,
Not again,  I'd  sit at home,
With music and a fur pal,
A book, a pen, a suburban gal......
So, in half a century,
Not much changed for me,
I sit and scribble, solo,
But never alone, my muse, lo!

What is life like now?
No technology, somehow,
Just imagine, here and now,
If there's no technology,
We'd all manage, you see,
As in days of yore, prithee,
But you can't reverse the clock,
Retroactive, quite a shock,
If no technology somehow,
What would life be like now?

Maybe I'll always be fat,
I take after my Dad, that's that,
Must accept that I am fat,
Fat, fat, fat, fat, fat,
That's what Moomba in Melbourne means, you cats,
"Let's get together and laugh at the fat!"
Obesity looms,
A voice of doom,
I'll eat chocolate soon,
Must accept that I am fat,
That's about all about that!

A long, long time ago, I can still remember when,
Junk food made me smile,
And I knew if had my chance,
That I could make my fatness dance,
And maybe I was happy for a while.

But McDonald's made me shiver,
With every burger they'd deliver,
Bad news on their doorstep,
I couldn't take one more step.

I can't remember if I cried,
When  I passed size twenty-five,
But something touched me deep inside,
The day I knocked back obesity fries,
CHORUS.
So, bye, bye McDonald's French fries,
Drove my  chevy away from McDonald's,
didn't have a bevy,
I said goodbye to whiskey and rye,
Singing no more apple pies,
That's the end of obesity fries.....

Did you  go to McDonald's biomes?
Did you know you're  changing your genomes?
Eating all those pesticides?
Now do believe they love you, guys?
Might as well eat dead flies!
And can you change evolution in real time?

Well, I know you're addicted to them,
You'll need more than treadmills in the gym,
Now can't even put on your shoes,
Man, you'll dig the obesity blues,

CHORUS.

I was an obese teenage bronco buck.
Driving to McDonald's in a pickup truck,
But I knew I was out of luck,
The day I ate landfill in those French fries...

I started singing bye, bye obesity fries,
Drove my chevy, had no bevies,
And the burgers were dry,
This is the day I knock back French fries.

CHORUS.
I met a girl who sang the blues,
She'd passed turning size twenty-two,
I asked her if she ate junk food too,
She just smiled and drove away,
I drove down to the store no more,
Where I ate additives years before,
But the junk food store didn't care anyway...

CHORUS
CHORUS....

The old man's getting married to a fat ******,
Ding, ****, the wedding hearse does shine!
That' what he gets for perving!
Get him to the morgue on time!

The old man's getting to a fat ******,
Ding, ****, the wedding hearse does shine!
The undertakers are steady,
Both the coffins are ready,
Extra wide for  the big fat groom and bride!

The old man's getting married to a fat ******,
Ding, ****, the wedding hearse does shine!
The bride is wearing her thongy,
His sons are bringing their bongies,
Get him to the morgue on time!

The old man's groom married to a fat ******,
Ding, ****, the wedding hearse does shine,
The mob are bringing Marijuana pesto,
The transvestites are saying hello,
They can be mothers of the bride!

The old man's getting married to a fat ******,
Ding, ****, the wedding hearse shall shine,
Yes, that's what you get for perving,
The morticians are all ready,
The coffins are standing steady,
Get him to the morgue on time!

This is an ode to strangers,
As past my gaze you ranges,
Do you all have happier lives?
Or is that advertising jive?
No human is perfect, I guess,
Of has a  perfect life, no less,
Anyone can make a mistake, confess!
Pappas don't preach, I suggest,
Men just don't understand, be blessed!

Are all footy fanatics
Total raving lunatics?
The flag's in the bag!
We've got lively lads
The best we've ever had!
Peter Pans on ***,
The flags that time forgot!
Footy finals fever,
Talk about dream weavers!
Footy finals phobia,
TV claustrophobia,
Why didn't we win,
Any old excuse again!
Footy fanatics,
Raving lunatics,
Footy finals fever,
Melbourne's dream weavers!

Here I have a chocolate meditation,
Writing an ode for edification,
What is a chocolate meditation?
It is a packet of Tim Tams, in Oz nation,
Let's hear it  for Oz Tim Tams,
From an Australian native chocolate plant,
Thence to an endless dish,
Of chocolate biscuits, utter bliss,
No afternoon tea is complete,
For the last Tim Tam we do compete,
Giggling gerties, one and all,
Chicks can hide them in their holdalls,
Without Tim Tams, housework is incomplete,
Must keep our ample figures neat!
I've heard they're unique to Oz nation,
Tim Tams, total chocolate meditation!

This house of hyperbole,
Does defy credulity,
Let's all exaggerate,
Aim to manipulate,
"I shall love you infinitely!"
Sounds a normal hyperbole,
"I never got over you!"
Am  I am a drama mama too?
You want me and need me,
But you don't love me,
Is that called two out of three?
Or more hyperbole?
Why answer such questions?
I'm always open to your suggestions,
As usual for you and me,
In this house of hyperbole........

Oh, humanity,
Making a welter of things,
Put our brains to better use....

Let's fly like eagles,
To our grail of peace restored,
We don't do perfect, okay.....

Moans, sleep deprivation,
Groans across our great nation.

Blame all dumb inventors,
Droughts, floods, some mentors!

We'll all vanish on timely wings,
Faults saving daylight brings!