I shall write a little verse this day,
What are the best words to say
In an introductory way?
"Are you doing okay?"
"I'm okay, how about you?"
"I'm okay, thank you!"
"I'm very well, thank you!"
Or, "Who do you barrack for today?"
Or, " I have alcohol, yah!"
Or, "I love you always!"
Did you know speech is evolving?
Every discourse improving,
Human languages progressing,
So, what are some words to say?
I ask in my verse today......

This is an Autumn year,
How does it feel, my dear?
Autumn wakes up crisp and fresh,
But soon chills creep upon her breath,'
Autumn is a grey old dame,
Clouds and rain here again,
Autumn looks back on youthful summer,
Golden glow all gone, total ******!

If we could rewrite time,
To change mists of time in rhymes,
If only's wreck your days,
If only we change this haze,
All drifted away, out of sight,
Blurred in these mists of mine,
If only we could all rewrite time.....

A verse in an ode, like a song,
In Oz, we call flip flops, thongs,
Perfect for weather in summer,
Hot sands on the beach, a ******,
Yes, each nation is unique,
Flip flops, thongs, make our world complete!

I guess I do not like spiders,
They are really predators,
They're even cannibals,
Make us feel vulnerable,
Creeping, menacing, sneaking,
Into my eyesight, they come creeping,
Hairy legs, spider eggs,
Make us feel vulnerable,
With poisoned mandibles,
Do you like predators?
I guess I do not like spiders.....

Look at this, on April the Fourth,
A man torched his Porsche in Ringwood North,
Now, that is a headline to read,
Why did he torch his Porsche, indeed?
Well, for insurance, obviously,
So, he's in the manure, prithee,
Poor fellow got sprung, you see,
I do admire rhymes in literacy!

Yes, it was shock therapy,
The power went out, you see,
No more internet for me and thee,
We were so addicted, totally,
One whole day, no electricity,
A day with no internet and no TV,
Yes, it was shock therapy......

My ancestors were a funny lot,
Christians, or Atheists who lost the plot,
I meandered into a world of Faith,
A Christian woman, praying for Grace,
We're all on a mission for God,
To a path beyond, we're trod,
Every faith is for free,
It's up to you what you believe,
I must say I am atheist friendly,
All inclusive Christianity.

Don't call women ***** and molls,
Who, indeed, makes girls so?
Eve always gets the blame, you know,
So, if a man turns a girl into his **,
Does that make him a stud or a ******?
What a double standard, lo,
A world of molls and gigolos!

We all dream of a soul mate,
Maybe it is never too late,
We give each other's love away,
Do we get more back this way?
A soul mate for symbiosis,
Even if I never meet this his,
Your cherished dreams can come true,
Who is a soul mate for a guy like you?

I made up a new slogan,
For Oz bogans,
About their moccasins,
Their get-about gear,
They wear moccasins here,
"Moccies top rate!"
Bogan slogan--great!

When a woman footy player explodes,
Read about it in this little ode,
She is so 'over' the antediluvian,
She knows what to do, some man,
Cleats to his groin,
End of his sirloins,
Off to the pub she went,
His supper was a non event,
A loud, proud f....ing moll,
No antediluvian's little doll,
A woman footballer explodes...
Thus concludes this little ode......

This is the news,
Old alliances on view,
The world is on the edge,
Exactly to what do they pledge?
And famine is stalking Africa again,
This is our continual shame,
Opportunism faces its fears,
What comes next, my dears?
See not the weeds, but the flowers,
We could all sit and whinge for hours,
See not the dust, but ceiling cobwebs,
What, indeed, happens next?
Could the world ever change its record?
Genocide is totally flawed.....

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

I really thank you ***** cats,
You've said your bit, that's that,
You've toughened me up, all right,
Tell me something I don't know, you uptights,
Have you got your rags on again?
Let's send you ***** cats down the drain,
I'd really like to thank you cats,
You've toughened me up, that's that!

Here is my home, swell,
It is where  I do dwell,
I fit into this 'burb real well,
In summer, hot as hell,
I sit here with my coffee,
To gaze at society,
You do appear strange to me,
Want to know what I think about thee?
My home is here, all is well,
I fit into my little town real swell!

We're really showing our age,
As we turn another page,
Life in the Magic Faraway Tree,
Gossamer floating fairy,
Translucent veil of Silky,
Ethereal and delicate,
Gauzy and so intricate,
Sheer and diaphanous,
Cobweb wings so vaporous,
Someone kind to take her hand,
Smiling face of the Saucepan Man,
Now I'm old, I've got a job,
I've turned into Dame Washalot,
Our imaginary friends have faded away......
Yes, we're all showing our age,
Let's turn another magical page.

Yes, it's true, Earthlings,
One of life's strangest things,
No one is alone,
God sent viruses to make us moan,
With influenza, no one is alone,
I'm full of germs a'breeding,
Cotton wool legs are a'pleading,
The virus is procreating,
Here I flake, incubating,
One of life's strangest things,
God sent us viruses to make us moan,
No one is alone, no?
Tongue kiss, anyone, no?????

Today,  I wasn't even ******,
I wrote for you a To-Don't List,
"To Do's" can get you miffed,
"Don't worry" to you I'll say,
"Don't hurry yourself today!"
There's no rush, that's the way,
Don't give up, persevere,
"Don't give up your faith, my dears!"
"Don't give up smiling, anyway."
"Please don't get negative this day,"
Don't take any notice, prithee,
Of negative Norms and Normas, please,
Don't get into dumb arguments, a thought,
"To Don'ts", indeed, life's too short!

F.....ing molls, f....ing molls,
We cook your food and wash your clothes,
F.....ing molls, f.....ing molls,
No wonder you **** your own blip,
You are so full of it.....

You remind me of a Simpson fellow,
No wonder I colour you bright yellow,
Too cowardly to confront your ex,
Without bourbon, and packs of cigarettes,
Thank God you are not my ex,
Your exes must be in bed with a Bex,
A souvenir of a Simpson fellow,
Colour him bright vivid yellow.......

I met a check-out chick the other day,
I asked how was her New Year's Day, okay,
She said she had a dreadful New Year's Day.
Her boyfriend battling bushfires with the CFA,
He had never been so far away,
What on earth could I say?
Our firies are like superheroes today,
Right there with Superman, okay?
Would you give them a salary or lunch money? Hey,
They don't do it for the money, okay?
Well, give them all a gold medal,  I say,
When these bushfires are gone one day,
Chats about our firies everywhere these days!

I gaze at some human behaviours,
Was Elvis such a saviour?
All those impersonators,
Then there's folk like me,
Total doormats, to bullies,
Is that acquired behaviours?
For doormats, who is a saviour?
As we study our own sociology,
With observational methodology.....

Here am I, a fur detective,
What is a pet's perspective?
Fur friends make us happy, you see,
Have to return their love, ask me,
What would your pet say to thee?
Thanks for the cuddles, good company,
Thanks for meal and comfy bed,
Thanks for the snacks, enough said,
Message from this fur detective,
Turn your eyes to the pet's perspective!

Who'd be a caregiver for thee,
Why are you moaning to me,
Welcome to your geriatricity,
Well, sooky la la, hear you moan,
No wonder you whinge alone......

What is your greatest luxury?
Music every time for me,
To greet the day with a tune,
Not the end of the world soon,
So don't waste thoughts,
Negative thoughts are noughts,
Don't let thoughts drag you down,
Even if you play the clown,
Hit the music, folks like thee,
Lighten up, music is a luxury!

I walked along the road one day,
Picked up a note along the way,
I unfolded it and read,
My heart filled with dread,
What did this little note say,
That I picked upon the way?
"You are going to be hit by a bus!"
So I walked off the road, no fuss,
Safe on first, walking one day,
Picked up a note along the way,
Everything changes, you might say,
Try not walking on  the road today!

Today I'm  cooking some steaks,
I do believe steak is great,
I don't care what vegans say,
Maybe they should all ******* today!
Just kidding, believe what you like, I say,
I am cooking great steaks today!
No need to fuss, hold the bus,
Signed, one of the 'carnivores are us'!

I gaze at nature's scenery,
The flowers in all their finery,
A wonderland of marvels, flowers,
Maybe some showers bless our hours,
Of the glory of nature's scenery,
The miracle of floral finery.....

Yah! Good news arrived, let's say,
Today, I  had a terrific day,
A day of good intentions,
Pacifist is my intentions,
I party by reading and writing,
The library is so inviting,
Here am I, scribbling away,
Today I had a terrific day!
Let's read books to celebrate!

This is a twisted tale from me,
The place where my heart used to be,
That's what you get for exploiting me,
All bully's privileges revoked,  you see,
You're expecting, like, favours, and cups of tea?
Men, don't abuse crumpet and crumpet, prithee!
The place where my heart used to be,
Such a twisted tale from me.......

A fiery church in the world,
The flame within, quite a swirl,
The fire still flourishes,
Our souls it nourishes,
The word is spreading in the world,
Faith can heal, give it a whirl,
But you can be too religious, you see,
Let a fiery church heal humanity,
Let's have a peaceful dream,
Make peace, not war, it seems!

A tribute in our golden years,
As  I recollect, no poignant tears,
I glimpsed him in my peripheral vision,
By now, we're both older editions,
A friend of a friend of  a friend,
Floating away like golden pollen,
I trust my thoughts to him do wend,
That was  once a quote, I sigh,
" I did but see him passing by,"
Crying and weeping is not for me,
Glancing at such distant memories,
Yes, a friend of a friend of a friend,
Floated away like stardust pollen,
I reminisce, such a dear,
A tribute in our golden years.

Does time speed up as we age?
I gaze back at the end of the day,
To- do- lists are very helpful, I guess,
But very boring, I must suggest,
As kids we used to anticipate,
Time dragged on, it was never too late,
Then, a bend in time,
It's already supper time!

Some G.P.'s are full of blip,
All they do is write scripts,
For whom, get my drift?
Is it all Big Pharma's cash cow,
Take two of these, who cares now?
Why not poisoned jellybeans?
Isn't Big Pharma acting mean?
Been to the G.P.'s cash cow scene........

When  did  I learn somewhere,
That Capitalism does not care,
Should have realized when  I was young,
Economies flourish best with guns,
Over here in Oz, you see,
Iron ore and uranium, basically,
These fund our economy,
Is the human race naive?
Depends on what you believe,
Uncle Sam will want you and you,
Take care, young chicks and dudes,
Armed conflict soon everywhere,
When the Covid antidote is here,
Capitalism does not even care....

Yes, I'm still the bard of Bayswater,
Once was a doormat daughter,
Now as the song does say,
I have old grey hair and saggy **** these days,
Don't know if sparks ever fly from my fingertips,
Let alone my ancient fat hips,
Now there's broomsticks over Baysie,
Yesterday sunny, today sodden and hazy,
Floating on a broomstick above Baysie,
In a vision of solitude,
Why is ignoring football considered rude?
Tough, we are all unique,
Some old footy players are total creeps,
Dateline: crocodile tears:
Another classic loss to his team, no cheers!

Once there were tea ladies, with mystique,
Our morning thirsts, they did pique,
Broad of stern,
Trolleys of urns,
Lovely biscuits, sometimes cakes,
Morning pangs, they did slake,
Big happy smiles, tea lady's here,
Did we greet her with a silent cheer,
And by the way,
What was your name?
Where did you go to, bye,
Gone to make tea pots in the sky,
Once were tea ladies, with mystique,
Our morning thirsts, they did pique......

Yes, it's nearly that's time of year,
Australia Day soon, my dears,
Patriotism in the right place,
Smiles on the Aussies' face,
We all come from the human race,
No need for such paranoia,
Racists are sent to annoy ya!
Let's unite for one day of the year,
Advancing Australia, my dears!

Life is for the living,
Life is for the loving,
Love is for the giving,
We do live vicariously,
Don't take things too seriously,
Let's make extinction extinct,
How? Let's have a think!
Work and pray for Peace,
For plebs and critters we keep,
Let's preserve more habitats,
For wildlife and people chaps,
Exile brainwashing dictators,
Breed positive motivators,
Redirect capitalism,
Too much conflict over 'isms,
Masks our real problems,
World makes too many munitions,
Create diverse solutions,
Too many mind pollutions,
Let's write some aphorisms,
Life is for the living,
Life is for the loving.

Being positive is my thing,
But I do have an evil twin,
I imagine some weird things,
Like being a gastric surgeon,
Give laryngospasms for these durgeons,
I don't think they'll ever be men,
Ah, it's no use snivelling, you ken?
Hope they get chicks better than me,
Else, who is going to cook your tea?
You must stop being such sooks,
Get off buns, and learn how to cook!

This is a quest for chicks of any age,
How to meet a decent bloke on life's stage,
Wouldn't have a clue, how to build a rapport,
With someone sincere, who is not a dorb,
We're all humans with feet of clay,
Guess  I won't meet one this way!

Here's an ode to make us laugh,
Boomers resilient to the last,
Survived high school in  the sixties,
Where we learnt cookery,
Girls did not have *****,
Couldn't do woodwork, over it!
Instead, made a pudding of suet,
Fat, fat, fat, eating to rue it!

I'm inspired to write you an ode,
This is Libida to Libido,
A friend with benefits bro,
To me, you are my hero,
We've now sailed our boat,
Your loving keeps me afloat,
With all your charms and grace,
You make the world a better place,
You've put a grin on my silly face,
To me, you are my hero.
Signed Libida, to Libido.

Here is my famous recipe,
Ingredients for love, you see,
You need to slake your thirst,
Here are the elements: First,
Bring your patience kind,
Sense of humor springs to mind,
Laugh together through the years,
Sometimes there are days of tears,
But Cupid ever strings his bow,
Healing hands on his arrow,
Yes, this is Cupid's recipe,
Naughty little chap is he!

In the eye of the beholder,
Or should I say de listener?
The lucid muse of Mozart,
We're all human, though worlds apart,
Elvira Madigan's dreaming,
Mozart plays Mozart, so it's seeming,
Mozart in Heaven streaming
Into the ear of the de listener,
Of is it the eye of the beholder???????

I went to a local church,
Sat in a pew, like a perch,
But I pondered,
Gazing at folk a'yonder,
Where are all the kids?
Don't you know what Jesus did?
How to bring them to a church,
To sit and listen, on their perch,
Maybe a Gospel in graphics,
A hitech savvy for kids,
To meet a forever friend,
With a love that has no end,
What is the future of the church?
I ponder as I sit here on my perch.

Tawny,  I stretch,  I yawn,
No need for this cat to fawn,
What's for tea? I don't say please,
Feed me, or I'll give you fleas,
Once a queen of Egypt, somehow,
Hello there, humans, cat says meow.........

Let's reflect on endless information,
Is there, indeed, malicious intention
In Microsoft's and Apple's inventions?
Humans hooked on technology,
We're turning into cyborgs, you see,
I write this verse digitally,
For cyborg poets to read,
Do we accept this as part of change,
This world shall never be the same,
I guess this is the cyborg way.......

Oh, great horsemother in the sky,
Here is a question from a bard such as I,
Are you shooting a racing vet today?
Another horse was destroyed for gain,
This is, of course,
A personal hobby horse,
If a horse gallops anyway,
Why are you whipping them this way?
This is the sport of kings, you see,
Death for a horse, if not its jockey,
Sounds to me like animal cruelty,
Racegoers turn the other way,
Drink some more best champagne,
This is question, better yet,
Does horsemother ever shoot the vet?