Oh, great horsemother in the sky,
Here is a question from a bard such as I,
Are you shooting a racing vet today?
Another horse was destroyed for gain,
This is, of course,
A personal hobby horse,
If a horse gallops anyway,
Why are you whipping them this way?
This is the sport of kings, you see,
Death for a horse, if not its jockey,
Sounds to me like animal cruelty,
Racegoers turn the other way,
Drink some more best champagne,
This is question, better yet,
Does horsemother ever shoot the vet?

This is a true, but amusing tale,
Hope your laughter does not fail,
'Tis a saga of a cockatoo,
Of life, he held a jaundiced view,
At the going down of the sun,
Cocky embellished his own fun,
And at the rising of each dawn,
Cocky's catharsis our ears did adorn,
The parrot kept talking, none listened to he,
Cocky had such a vivid vocabulary,
All starting with "F...ing C...'s"!
We heard his morning matins, you see,
His vespers were hard to believe,
'Twas sociolinguistic acquisition, prithee,
His jaded look at society,
Swearing is cathartic, but so lazy......

This was a horror day,
Hitchcock's Day of the Bogans', let's say,
Grand Final Day of 2017,
The A.F.L.'S very worst dream,
When Crows played Tiges, so it seems,
Until power blacked out at 2:30,
No play was to be seen,
Then! A bomb scare at the M.C.G.,
The whole match was on stall,
But wait! That was not all,
They had to evacuate them all,
The bogans had a mighty brawl,
So Tigers played with themselves, good call,
Then! Seven inches of rain on the M.C.G.,
A field of rain and  mud was to be seen,
They had a regatta, it was now Henley,
The A.F.L's very worst dream,
Hitchcock's Day of Bogans at the M.C.G.,
Grand Final Day in 2017......

Here's life for you and me,
In a Western Liberal Democracy,
We voted for politicians, in reality,
So we got politicians, quite literally,
We don't believe a word they say,
With media hype and fear campaigns,
Yes, sad, but true, for you and me,
We live in a Western Liberal Democracy,
Does such exist in reality?
We voted for politicians, Tweedledee,
or Tweedledummers, pollies for democracy!
Sarcasm, you really need me!

(To the tune of "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree!)
Today, I was offered a job, prithee,
Tutoring crims in literacy,
Silent reading for all the he's,
I'd be part of their conspiracy,
They'd all have a million dollars, you see,
Buried under the jail's old oak trees,
For their chicks and kids to live comfortably,
That's why they like gardening, you see,
It looks like the gophers have been,
The crims have left the scene!
They swiped the prison bus,
Forgot about "Literacy and Us!"
The governor put the blame on me!
So much for teaching prison literacy,
Now there's lots of holes under the jail's old oak trees,
Yes, the gophers have been,
The crims have left the scene,
All with a million dollars, you see,
Well, they learnt to spell 'conspiracy',
That was my job teaching literacy!

I guess this is a funny tale,
I still reflect, silent wail,
There I was, giving birth,
Snicker for what it's worth,
"Excuse me, sister, I'm having a contraction!"
Did that cause a nurse reaction!
They must have thought I was a dipstick,
Laughing away in their lipsticks!

Long ago, way back when,
I was teaching five year olds then,
The funniest things happen to me,
One day I had different coloured shoes, you see,
One brown, one blue, gross, prithee,
Preps said very loudly to me,
"You're the silliest teacher we've ever seen."
So much for teaching them literacy,
The joke was on me, quite definitely,
Still, I guess I can survive anything,
It's called my worst day of teaching.......

I have found some weird things in my time,
I went to a footy dinner along the line,
The young lads were flicking peas,
And all their vegetables, if you please,
When home, my hair was full of carrots and peas,
Never went to footy dinners again, you see,
We do learn from experience, dodge them peas!
"Boys will be boys!"  I ponder so wisely......

DIY DISASTERS!
Once upon a lifetime,
I knitted a disaster line,
My sister was expecting,
So, I thought I'd be creating,
That first ****** looked beautiful,
Second, third and fourth not so dutiful,
They turned into footy boots size,
So I bought socks in Kmart--surprise!
I never found a baby with four different feet,
For DIY disasters, booties can't be beat.......

DIY DISASTERS!
Once upon a lifetime,
I knitted a disaster line,
My sister was expecting,
So, I thought I'd be creating,
That first ****** looked beautiful,
Second, third and fourth not so dutiful,
They turned into footy boots size,
So I bought socks in Kmart--surprise!
I never found a baby with four different feet,
For DIY disasters, booties can't be beat.......

Wise words implanted in human young,
"Behave yourselves, you're young!
No need for you to rebel,
Follow the rules we tell,
But who listens at any age?
Same as in Sumerian days!
"You young have no respect,
Boys look like girls, what the heck!
Your music is total trash,
Your verse is gibberish, ash,
Yes, 4000  years of rebels,
Who follow the rules we tell?

There's a real case for Bing Crosby,
Commercialism in every store,
You'll accentuate the positive with glee,
Singing along to Bing Crosby,
Soon it'll be a bit like Christmas, or
Cant in every store,
Instead of religious awe,
We'll overspend cos it's Christmas, yah,
Then we'll stuff ourselves on the day,
Cos Jesus was born on Christmas Day,
There's a real case for Bing Crosby,
Cant in every store, see!
Then you'll beg me not to sing Bing Crosby!
Sing along with me!!!

Yes, it's true, Earthlings,
One of life's strangest things,
No one is alone,
God sent viruses to make us moan,
With influenza, no one is alone,
I'm full of germs a'breeding,
Cotton wool legs are a'pleading,
The virus is procreating,
Here I flake, incubating,
One of life's strangest things,
God sent us viruses to make us moan,
No one is alone, no?
Tongue kiss, anyone, no?????

Spring is a young woman,
Friend to every human,
Laughing, sunny, warm, shining,
Green and floral, beguiling,
Happy scented days of smiling,
Light blues skies, breezing,
The world is softly loving in Spring,
Like a young woman for cuddling......

Way back when  in the sixties,
When we were young and nifty,
Me and Grandpa definitely believed,
I would love to ask him what, indeed,
In what did we believe?
Well, in the case for Jesus, let's say,
Original selfie, his shroud, Resurrection Day,
In hope, in Faith, in our power to pray,
In silent miracles, at Easter, and every day,
Yes, me and grandpa did believe, yah!
A healer was on Earth, still here today!

Beware the flooded roads,
Don't drive in that overflow,
You won't drive into a bushfire,
why drive into that watery mire,
Beware, there's danger there,
Some don't listen, it appears,
Washed away in the floods,
Beware, beware, that's far enough,
Beware, beware, my man,
Don't drown yourself in a tin can!

Yes, these walls do have ears,
Or so it appears,
And the doors have eyes,
that is a surprise,
Like that old reprise,
The house has a thousand eyes,
maybe we all tell lies,
That's my surmise,
Part of being human, I suggest,
No one's perfect, I  guess.....

Yes, these walls do have ears,
Or so it appears,
And the doors have eyes,
that is a surprise,
Like that old reprise,
The house has a thousand eyes,
maybe we all tell lies,
That's my surmise,
Part of being human, I suggest,
No one's perfect, I  guess.....

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?

What is the persona of Autumn?
of many things, it is a sum,
Of golden days, chillsome nights,
Twilight descending, turn on the lights,
of fleecy clothes, planting in soil,
of rainy sodden, drenching our toils,
Autumn's persona is past middle-aged,
More like a golden age on nature's stage,
Grey afternoons, foggy morns,
What kind of day does this day dawn?