Somewhere between grief and goodbye.
By
Jude Kyrie

*In the dark cobwebs hang from a blackened sky.
In a heartbeat you passed without a goodbye.
Hold this moment forever with tears in my eye.
For the rain falls like music and never runs dry

In the heart there's a river where  memories drown
They float to the surface and spin round and round
Nighttime is a prison that holds no reprieve.
And regrets are a guest that never will leave.

Living a life somewhere between truth and  lies.
Look at my smile but not into my eyes.
Pity my longing my tears and my sighs
Never to  speak for I can't whisper goodbye.

I think I love you so much because
of your frailties and sometimes regrets.
Perfection in people is boring
And this you are not.

Never to have reached up and failed
Never to have fallen stumbling
only into one of  life's trap's.
Set there for us to learn a lesson.

You are unlike them,
the virtuous and untested.
You are completely immersed,
In the revelation of life's possibilities.
And life has revealed its beauty to you.
And now you share it with me.

The darkness falls gentle from a pallet sky
A look of longing rest in my eye
The church bells sing the holiest blues
Are we to pass like yesterday's news?

I see dark endings oh so crystal clear.
I can hear your goodbye its almost here
Our past is dancing loves last waltz
It's mournful music sways and halts

Truth calls the moment to ignite the light
It's voice whispers between all wrong and right
Whispers are memories than hang on my breath.
Our loves tired and broken now ready for death

Touch lightly this moment with tears in our eyes.
Drown sorrows with music and play our goodbyes.
For hearts have a room where old loves are parked
And the future holds secrets in the darkest of dark.

The wild seawind
By

Jude Kyrie



Let me leave a salted kiss like  the wild seawind

Full of ocean spray and nature's guile

Excite sweet passions in your mind


Let me touch your heart where love I find

Bring  night birds songs to make you smile

Let me leave a salted kiss like  the wild seawind.


Bring starlit gifts and a heart to blnd

With music sweet and a love that's wild.

Excite sweet passions in your mind


In windswept dreams my love you will find

A heart thats loyal through every trial

Let me leave a salted kiss like the wild seawind


I will love you even when old and lined.

And stay faithful every travelled mile

Let me leave a salted kiss like the wild seawind

Excite sweet passions in your mind

Just The Two of Us
a Poem
ByJude Kyrie

We share the same wounds you and me.
Our blood is flowing from our hearts
But the hearts are in love
bleeding only for each other.

We share the same scars you and Me.
Lasting memories of wounds long passed.
They were made from forgiveness
and acceptance.
And in forgiving, we both are forgiven.

We share the same love you and Me.
Unbreakable dedicated and everlasting.
Surmounting all adversities
Rising as a phoenix each new day.

Within your Eyes
a poem
By
Jude Kyrie

Sweet hypnotic dreamy trances
Visions through my senses sigh.
As I fall inside the glances
Of your lovely eyes

The shine of love light now advances
And glows brightly upon my soul.
Filling my heart with loving fancies
Feeling the passion in me rise

In their light, my heart embraces
Overwhelming sweet delights
All your beauty and your graces
Pour from your lovely eyes

Tapestry
By
Jude Kyrie

The summers flowering blooms are fading.
In the meadows and the lee.
I wonder as I am daydreaming
Have they bloomed their last for me?

The mass of blossoms at springtime
filled my heart with summers swell.
But now as I see them wilting.
Am I fading with them, as well?

My eyes have seen the twisted webbing,
that life’s needlepoint has done.
The light and dark of tiny threading
it has mingled one by one.

I wondered if the darkest thread
as black as deepest night.
Served only to make the pretty colors,
more vivid and sunshine bright.

My tapestry is almost woven
My strangely patterned web.
Perhaps this very moment
I am holding its last thread.

Wish Me A star --For My Children

A Poem--
For My Children
By
Jude Kyrie


When My time on earth has done.
look into the clear blue night sky.
Find a star in the heavens
that has no name.
and give it mine.

Then you will know
I am still here with you.
Never forsaking you.
You all were the brightness
in my life
shining from childhood to adults
Seeking my hand
to guide you through
the turbulent rapids of life.

When I am gone
look each night at my star
I will shine down on you always.
Twinkling like the life
that you brought to my eyes.
Until you join me
once again
in the great forever.

Hallelujah-----
Inspired by Leonard Cohen Song
Jude Kyrie

The light it poured from up on high.
From a magenta red and yellow sky.
The visions only made you cry.
Those up above just sighed a sigh.
You don’t want heaven, do you?
The weeping moon is sobbing
hallelujah.

The lost and broken lie in the street
Walk the world in unshod feet.
Why are all these children there?
Doesn’t anybody care?
Statistics only fool you.
Cold winds whisper hallelujah.

Children are reaching out for love
Their arms outstretched to up above.
Begging love from heaven’s door.
Only silence rings for evermore.
Just bitter rains to cool you.
Broken children sobbing Hallelujah

They say there is a God above.
But all my grace has come from love
Why fill Gods mansions full of treasure
When to feed the hungry was his measure.
Sick and tired of those that rule you.
Winter winds wail hallelujah.*

Authors Note

Evening Shadows
By
Jude Kyrie

The evening shadows fill my room
I think they fill me too.
Dark Evening Shadows of midnight Blue
Sad as an old blue tune.

I lie sleepless on my pillow.
Yours now empty on the bed.
I feel the darkness come once more
It comes from inside my head.

The Gods they must have laughed
at the promise that we gave
We swore that we would never part
These were decisions that they made.

I care not now if they dim the sun
Or close the moon and stars
Darkness is my chosen friend
For deep within its blackened space
It hides my broken heart.

Rain Dancing
by
Jude Kyrie*

Do you remember my darling
we were just children way back then.
we played in the summer rain.
Dancing in puddles.
Splashing in rubber boots.
Drenched with happiness
in the summer rain.
I think that's when
I first fell in love with you.
I knew even back then
we would marry one day.

Remember we always
loved walking in the rain.
The olive green days of
our life my love.
You, Me. the rain.

Then the sickness came
you tried to hide it from me.
but I knew ...I knew.

It was too strong for the
rain to wash away.

I remember that last day
my love.
you asked me is it raining
I said yes my love.
It's rained all day

Take me outside,
you whispered.
Dance with me in the rain
just one more time.

Now when I feel
lonely and sad.
and missing you is just
too hard for me to bear.

I stand in the pouring rain
and I can feel you close to me.
And the gentle pure rain
washes away my tears.

The church tower clock rings a final chime.
The family is singing auld lang syne.
A cloud passed by a pale winter moon
The old year sings its final tune.

A single tick of the mantle clock.
and new years hopes now run amok
Its tiny feet patter on the floor
The new year breeze blows in the door

We kiss and hug in close embrace
The new beginning's we all now face
We make resolutions we can't keep
And go to bed for a new years sleep*

A happy and healthy New 2017
to all and everyone
From
Jude

What Women Want
The riddle finally solved
By
Jude Kyrie
She stole my turtle
Pulled my hair in class.
Tripped me in the schoolyard
grazing both my knees.

Ate my stash of Halloween candy
hidden in my locker.
She let the air out of the tires
on my bike so I was late for class.

Copied my math test
and got me an F.

She told my first girlfriend
That I was totally gay
so she would not
go out with me.

I married her last year
For God"s sake.
If that was all she wanted
Why did she not just say so.*


Inspired by the lovely Miss Natalie Wood
Wish me a rainbow
She was always beautiful
Rest Well Milady.
Always Your Fan

Jude

Brilliant Black
By

Jude Kyrie

In a locked box
Inside a dark room
A lock of baby's hair
An old love letter
My darkest thoughts
No one can see them

Brilliant black

In a locked box
Inside a dark room
A love poem
written on a crumpled napkin.
An Empty perfume bottle
My sin
Hidden in total darkness

Brilliant black

In a locked box
Inside a dark room.
A house haunted and empty
Full of shadows
Full of pain
No one knows

Brilliant black

In a locked box
inside a dark room
My broken heart
shattered like crystal
Nobody knows
No one cares

**Brilliant black

A Love Poem
From
Jude Kyrie

They walked on the snow covered city sidewalk.
An old couple with slowing gait and unsure of their foothold.
He stopped under the streetlamp
holding her gently close to his heart.

Looking into her gray eyes still beautiful
untouched by the ravages of time
from so many long years.
Do you remember, my love?
You smiled at me here so long ago.
so very long ago under this very lamp.

Her face lightened a smile flickered
“yes, my darling I remember”.
The years fell away as leaves in the fall
and the icy world melted
in their moment of tender warmth.

He pulled her close to him.
Her body no longer old and frail.
He felt the strong woman inside her
the one he had loved forever.

I think of you in my dreams he whispered
join me in them my love.
You are wearing a summer dress
holding the single white rose
I brought for you.

The music in the café plays a waltz.
It swells and halts and ladies
sit in red gilded chairs sipping coffee.
The summer breezes the fragrance
of love into this room

Your smile once again enraptures my heart.
Your eyes darken as they find mine,
filling me with yet unfulfilled promises.
We are drowning in the melody about us
the music takes our hearts and
shines them as the sunlight on dewdrops.
Just the single pure white rose
cupped in your hands.

She smiled at the old memory
Her visions sharing his dream.
Even after this lifetime together.

"It is strange how one day
and a single white rose
can make lifetime lovers
from just friends."
she whispered.

Thank You--based on a spoken word poem
by the magnificent Sarah Kay

I get lost all the time.
I always feel I should be somewhere else.
It is the curse of being a poet
And the grace of being one.

When I am inside writing
I feel I should be outside living.
When I am outside living.
I feel I should be inside writing
about all the beautiful things I see.

When I write my emotional love poems.
I feel I should be outside
loving someone for real.
When I am out loving someone
I feel I should be inside
writing a love poem about it.
I always feel I am lost in between.

But I found some peace
and some tranquility
I learned to whisper the words
Thank You.
On the first breath of morning.
And of the last waking moment of night.

So I know for sure that when
It is my last moment on earth.
I would say to my maker
how grateful
and privileged I have been.
To have been given the grace
of a poet's eyes
And the emotional oceans
of a poet's heart.

As begins the  summer's morn
Dewdrops drip from a rose's thorn.
cricket's chirp in silent glow
A linnets fluttering wings below.

A cedar cabin poor and bare
In simple presence standing there.
A lapping lake upon the shore
Calls for nature's  lilt once more

Tranquil peace falls like the rain
Easing my mind and soul again
The purple mantle of the dawn
Awakens another perfect morn.

a love poem
By
Jude Kyrie.

When time calls to your youth.
And we sit by glowing coals
upon a winter's night.
Sleep falling upon us like a mantle.


The book of love that we wrote
together slowly upon fleeting years.
Falls open in a memory of passions
When your eyes grey as a foggy morn
Fill with sadness at times ravages.


You will only weep in your soul
Because only I have loved you
Deeply inside your being

We are as two stars.
Upon the same constellation
Glowing forever in the stary night
of a long time passed.

Glowing together with knowledge
Of a lifetime touched by starlight
Caught in the glowing light
of the timeless sky.

love you man
A Story From Nam
by
Jude Kyrie

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man*

perhaps our children are our immortality  © 8 months ago

It is November  in the capital.
I visit here every year on this day.
Wreaths of flowers  are abundant
everywhere I look the late fall sunshine.
The wall is long and filled
with the names of the fallen.

I look for the name
of my boyhood friend Joseph Reilly
It is always hard to find.
So many names so much sadness.

We served together in Nam
a lifetime ago.
I can still hear the explosion
the flash of the landmine.
He gave his life that I might live
A gift beyond any gratitude.

A shaft of fall sunlight falls
onto the gold filigree
of the names on the grey wall.
On my white shirt they reflect like on a screen.
I see his name on me
as though he is reaching to me I feel him with me
My lios move to say I love you man.

A cloud passes the sun
and his name melts from my shirt
On the wall it stays forever.

The doves are all dying
No peace left to own.
In the wars guns are firing
No sweetness or song

So call to your gods
They all turn away
Death falls from the blue sky
Kills children at play

So weep in the night
Hide your tears in the rain
There's a hole in the heavens
To let out the pain

Let the bells toll forever
As the wars cease to still
Children drown in the oceans
In an absent gods will.

Hold my hand in the darkness
Hold my hand in the light.
Theres a gap in the  curtains
The rooms filling with night.

Fear hangs like cobwebs
From the dark skies above.
Fill me with your starlight
Fill me with your love.

How sweet is the daylight
Yet so far far way.
Keep me safe in your starlight.
Until break of day.

The Sweetest Song


My soul is flying from my body.
Crying its words of love
far above the mountains.
Its echo repeats across
pristine valleys.
All my love for you
is resonating
in the soul of existence.
We sing our love song
As a  duet.
Two voices singing as one note.
The harmonics of our love
Resonate in sympathy.
Spreading our beautiful song
To the far corners of the earth.

All I have to cling to is losing.
I grip it like the treasure of winning.
But it covers me in shrouds.
In its touch of sadness
I can sometimes feel your fingers.
Reaching to me I grasp them
Unable to see you
For I am blinded by your loss.

We are broken now
Apart.
No longer an item.
Once we were an intricate
Jigsaw puzzle  making
A beautiful picture.
For all to see.
But  now
All your pieces are missing.
And there is nothing to be done
To fill the empty spaces.

Haven Lane
By
Jude Kyrie


The night brings dreams where specters host
Old memories coming alive like forgotten  ghost
I am looking to find  haven lane.
The place where i will be safe again.
Down the pathway
Along to the sea
I find the roads
but not for me.
In the fog the house lights glow
Blinking in air as white as snow


Where is my mother  she's here again
Cutting fruit for a pie at haven Lane
Her old  chair creaking in pain
As she carves apple skins at haven lane.

I know she's there at haven lane.
I must find haven lane again.
Grandmother cast a stitch of knitting
It's shapeless length the moments flitting.
growing stitch by stitch as she is sitting.
Clicking ceaselessly  in Haven Lane
Knit one purl one cast one
Clickity clicking again and again


Outside, In the fog, I feel the pain.
Cutting my flesh wide open again
Dreams  wash away in the morning rain
I am Lost and alone like haven lane

Going home is a melancholy journey.
Thousands of miles over oceans.
Back into the warm  
Autumn morning of Englands countryside.
This is the old country farmhouse we were all brought up in.
My mother me my siblings.
The warmth of the late Indian summer day
steam shadows over the old orchard.
The old house is full of ghost
walking around its lichen-covered stone.
I can see my mother sat in the shade
a basket of fruit in her lap.
Awaiting her oven and pastry dough.
The apples have fallen now.
The garden a wild place with raspberry brambles
black Currants and gooseberries
Gripping each other in a tangled fury.
As hard as we once held onto each other
So long ago.
The drone of the feeding bees
Have a happy sound of plenty.
The grapes ****** dry of their sweetness.
Their overloaded bodies filled with nectar.
The only intrusion a pair of dragonflies
Bouncing In carefree harmony in the scented air.
I pick up the bushel basket
that mom used to collect her fruit.
I hold it close to my heart.
And see her smiling again.
In the corner a small scruffy boy
with an even scruffier dog
eats an over-ripe  pear.
From the littered ground under the tree.
It is only another ghost
But I think it is me.

I sit quietly watching you
In the jungle overgrowth
of our living room.

Shape shifting between
a man eating lion.
And a lamb of peace.
.
I pour you a large shot
of raw burning whisky.
I hear the silent growling
Of your beast inside you.

Yet I feed you your poison.
Submissively placating you
Just in the hopes you
will not **** me.

Mister Sunshine
Makes me drink wine
Makes me feel fine
When I'm way down low.

Mister Sunshine
Makes the words rhyme
When he knows the tune
Is sad

He don't take much
He don't  make much
But Ahhhhh
To be such a man as he
He walks so pure
Between the sky and sea.

Mister Sunshine
He don't take much
He dont make much
But Ahhhhh
To be such a man as he
And walk so pure
Between the sky and sea
Mister Sunshine
Mister Suhshjne
Ahhhhh
Mister Sunshine

Mister Sunshine
Makes me drink wine
Makes me feel fine
When I'm way down low.

Mister Sunshine
Makes the words rhyme
When the tune
Is sad

He don't take much
He don't  make much
But Ahhhhh
To be such a man as he
He walks so pure
Between the sky and sea.

Mister Sunshine
He don't take much
He dont make much
But Ahhhhh
To be such a man as he
And walk so pure
Between the sky and sea
Mister Sunshine
Mister Suhshjne
Ahhhhh
Mister Sunshine

I have a fear
that one day
you see the real me.
Made of tender flesh
and brittle bones.
And you will leave
me for another.
Who is made of  muscle
and solid structure.

I love you Maytime
A short love story
By
Jude Kyrie.

I was sitting on a
central park bench
alone again.
She was gone
my job was gone.
It's ok she never loved me
I thought.
Well perhaps I never loved her either.
I loved the money
hated the job.
so where am I now?

The power job the money
the recognition
The trophy girlfriend.
That's what I wanted
That's what I desired.
Well they had all gone now.
And I felt so ****** alone.

That's when I met
the the crazy lady .
The hippie on steroids.
She said
Hello Maytime.
I said Maytime?
Yes she purred.
wanna be my Maytime?

I need a new project
and you look like
you need saving.
Come back with me
and have a coffee she said.
She was sort of hippie pretty.

I followed her.
What's the harm in a coffee.?
It was a walk up
just on the outskirts
of central park.
It was nice
except for the six puppies
running about the place.
I steal them
from the perfume company labs.
They use them
for experimental purposes
They hurt their eyes.
she explained her crime
in a matter of fact manner.
So I break in and get them.
I save things she said.

I will save you too
if you want.
I---I don't need saving
I explained.
You do so badly
Just look how lost you are.
No job no girl
no love
no happiness.
No scent of a lover on you.
You are lost in the wilderness.

Stay here just for Maytime.
thirty days
I will cure you.
I turned to the door to leave
She was nutty as a fruitcake.
But she swirled me to face her
I saw her inner beauty.
Her eyes were blue as the spring sky.
Her lips soft and curved at the ends
In a smile
that was just bursting to get out.

It was me I think
Yes for sure it was me.
I pulled her close
and kissed her perhaps
too hungry
too greedy
too taking
Too presumptuous.

Slowly she begged
slowly Maytime
Gently be gentle honey.
I left her and ran outside.

She followed me out
into the deluge of night rain.
Don't go she purred
be my sweet Maytime.
She held my hand.
Holding my head
into her soft breast.

I thought she could not see
the tears falling down my face.
But she knew...she knew
they were there.

I followed her back
into the apartment.
She took me to her bed.
I was quiet and gentle
Just like she asked of me
Just like I wanted to be
Somewhere deep inside myself.

I said stupid things to her.
That a man like me never says.

Like you are so beautiful
I need you
I need you so much
You are an angel
help me please.
help me find me.

I reached for her so gently
Our lips finding electricity
when they almost
but not quite touched.
Igniting sparks in me that
I had never felt.before.

She took off my shirt
I was hers all of hers.
She kissed away my my tears
don't stop them
let them out she whispered.
Let them all go honey.
And she made love to me.

I was found
at last this was the me
I had been lost
for so long
in the wilderness of
New York City life.
I slept deeply
and peacefully
for the first time
In years.
I lay in her arms all night.
On waking I whispered
I am falling in love with you.
I felt her stiffen in our embrace.

Don't ever say that Maytime.
Never say that that again
Or I Will end us early.
I knew she meant it.

I got a phone call
my boss offered me
my old job back.
She said
if you take it we are over
It's what you hate doing.
I turned it down
and lay in homage of her.

May went by
A day at time unnoticed.
I felt all I could not say
I was in love.
Hopelessly in love with her.

Then I took the puppies for a walk!
When I got back
she was being sick real badly.
I held her close
and she was crying
in the middle of the day.
Hush hush honey
it's ok
I will make it ok
I promised.
But I couldn't.

She was very sick
She had always been sick.
This saving thing
was her redemption.

She said are you cured maytime
it's only the twenty fifth of May.
I said yes sweetheart
I am cured.
I have been cured
since the first day of May.

When she left me
It was the last day of May.
I was out finding forever homes
for Brahms and Liszt
Two of her puppies.

She left a note for me
by her bed
on the night table.
She wrote
I always loved you
sweet Maytime.
Always.

I got back to work last week
It's not much of a job
The pay is lousy
The hours are long.
But I help people
at the homeless shelter.
And funnily enough
I really love the work.

Even in the quietest moments
I can hear your sweet voice.
Your whisper
Your prayers
Your call
Sounds that are now ingrained
deep inside my mortal soul.
Angels carry her voice to me
Angels Bring me her smile.
I will understand
There is no beginning or ending
only a continuum
of everlasting love.
Circling between
heaven and Earth.
Sometimes in lost dreams
My hand slips safely into yours.
And when darkness falls
You are always
my compass to the light.
You are Eternal.
I love you,
Mom.

I find myself
wrestling with a poem again.
I wrote it four years ago
But it keeps coming back
To top of mind.
Work on me it whispers.
Finish me.
Polish my shoes.
It purrs.
Sometimes I change
a single word.
Or add a line.
Or remove a comma.
But it keeps
coming back for more.
It's relentless.
I think of the
great French poet
Paul Valery.
His quote imprisons me
To this groundhog day
Of working on the same
Group of stanza.
This poem is my jailer.
“A poem is never finished
It is only abandoned”
He said wisely.
So here I go again
My quill  raised
one more time.
But I now understand why.
Thank you Paul?

Windchimes

A story of advancing years

And loss

By

Jude kyrie

In my advancing years
Clarity eludes me now and then
I sit quietly in the gazebo.
Your book and glasses
not yet removed from your seat.

Drifting into sleep I awaken suddenly.
with confusion reigning again.
I quietly call your name
The need to see you is overwhelming.
I search the gardens for you
Panic setting in to my confused heart.

Then in the cool evening summer breeze.
The gentle chiming of the windchimes
Calm my panic as your soft gentle words once did.

Then under the fragrant blooming arches
of the rose arbor I see you.
A basket of cut flowers hang from your arm.
The fading light from the evening sun.
Frames a halo about your long hair.

My eyes mist
So sweet so astoundingly beautiful.
As calm as the mist on a summer's morn.
You smile at me
The windchimes chime softly in the still air.

You tell me
the sweet wudruff is taking over
The hollyhocks need trimming
And the roses need pruning

You tell me all of these things.
But all I see is your sweet heart of purest gold.
The rose arbor framing the light of my life.
Glowing as the sun
at the Centre of my small universe.

I fall to my knees to pay homage to you.
As you fade away into the evening shadows.
Just the lilt of the windchimes
Dance softlly over the perfumed bounty
of our flowering gardens

She is beautiful
Three years younger than me.
But light years ahead of me.
She is my sister.

I put myself in charge of her safety
Her modesty her heart.
I have seen the robots and androids
Of men bragging  their locker room conquest.
This will not happen to her I promise.

At sixteen  I threatened her prom date
With castration if he ..well just if he.
She did not seemed pleased
When he ratted me out to her.

At twenty one
Her boyfriend from college
Was taking liberties with her.
I noticed his hands when he thought
No one was looking.

His warning included.
A second appendage

Then I met her girlfriend.
*** she was beautiful
I daydreamed of things we we do one day
My hands were not totally innocent on dates.

Then we went away for the weekend
To New England
Walking the beaches of Cape Cod.
The small rose covered B and B
Was so romantic .
In bed I slipped my hand over her
And pulled her close to me.

I can't she said softly
Why not I asked almost mad.
Your sister said she would
Throw acid on me
If I took advantage of you.

A year late
We go out on foursomes
My sister and her latest boy friend
And her beautiful friend and I
The truce has remained unbroken
And we both live our youth to the full.

The heat in the concrete city is oppressive.
Only two days left two sleeps.
And we will go to the island for a holiday.
Dad gets two weeks from every August.

We leave Manchester
and it's smoke stained walls.
And drive to Anglesey
on the north west corner of Wales.

Every year to the extremity
of the land to the irish sea.
I am fourteen my sister is ten
We will be away from the city

Where a fishing boat means a tin can
With a Johnson 9.9 putting behind it.
There is fresh sea air
Clear waters teaming with mackerel.

We will catch a bucket full
Mom will fry them
and serve them with butter.

Fresh from the farm
just down the lane.
The eggs come
from happy chickens.
That strut around a farmyard.
That reeks of animal poo.

I sit on the beach
And watch the girls playing ball
They are beautiful.
But I am lost in the no man's land
Between boy and man.

I notice her shake her hair
It's blonde and has natural waves.
Her bikini starting to fill out.
She looks way too unattainable for me.

But I watch her and she notices.
That was the summer
I kissed a girl for the first time.
In the barley fields.
Hidden by the grass from
anyone but God to see.

I fell in love with her
And it broke my heart
For the first time
When we left to go home.

Then I was twenty four
I went back to Anglesey
And sat on the beach
Watching the boys
watching the girls
play ball.

A shadow fell across me.
The bright sun behind her
Her hair was blonde
And naturally wavy.
She was beautiful
Hello again she said.
May I sit here
Yes of course please join me.

I am thirty
Not much changes
on the summer beach
At Anglesey.
I sit watching my children
play in a rock pool.

A boy and a girl .
The boy looks a lot like me
But the girl
looks like my beautiful wife.
Her hair is long and blonde.
With natural waves in it
Framed and highlighted
by the summer sun.

Everybody knows where they were that morning.
9:00 am Tuesday
September 11' 2001

By
Jude Kyrie

*It was Tuesday morning
In the inner city school the children's faces
We're glowing in
black brown white
and all colors in between.

We were discussing poetry
and the meaning of things
that make us feel some emotion.
A fire engine bell.
A police siren.
A church bell on a Sunday morning.

The little girl her bright black face
Embellished with the biggest whitest smile.
Said she always cried at sad music playing.
I think she had poetry in her soul
More than anyone in the room.

Then a plane hit the towers
And a second plane.
We heard it but did not know what it was.
But it made us feel dark
something bad had happened.

Then from the window
the ash filled the sky.
It poured in an endless deluge
Blocking the sun
They looked at me.
I am their teacher

their eyes are what I remember.
Wide open full of fear and questions.
The school warning system
said we were in lockdown.
Lockdown, an unknown thing
when I was in sixth grade.

a boy started crying it's a bomb he cried.
The others started to join him.
thier white enlarged eyes
looked at mine for comfort.
And the answers I did not have.

The darkness was folding in the city
No blue sky
no trees across the playground.
Just grey dark ash thick as a fog.

What do you feel I asked
Tell me what you feel.
Anger miss
Fear miss
Terror miss
Sad miss
Lost miss
Afraid miss
It went on

We played find someone and hug
To half your fears.
My own fears as large as Thiers.
One child asked if we can pray.
Prayers were banned at school now.
But I said does anyone know a prayer.

My little black poetess
Started slowly unsure .
But the others joined in
Even me.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep;
If I die before I wake,
I pray for Lord my soul to take. Amen

We stayed in lockdown
until the afternoon.
And shared lunch pails
Worried parents came
to pick up their children.

In the thick ash laden air
They walked out
one by one seeking their
Loved ones in the throng.

A line of tiny ghost.
Four children were left without parents.
They looked into my eyes.
And saw the only answer I had
As the tears flowed down my face.

1951
Manchester in
The North West Of England

The city was broken after the war.
England had won it was said
But it didn't feel like that we won.
I remember the
old smoke stained bricks
of the inner city school.
I remember it in sepia
It had no colors back then.
Nothing did.

Until she came to teach us.
She was beautiful her silks
flowed from her like clouds.
So many colors reds
and magentas and pink and blues

I looked at her and
I wanted to be with her
She was the brightest thing I had seen
since the war had ended.

She said she was from India.
And her dress was a sari.
She had my heart with the
gentle softness of her voice.
Her windchime bracelets
on her lovely honeyed skin tinkled.
But it was her tranquility
that floored me.

She would ask
what have you learned today?
share it with us.
We spoke in a cacophony.
Hush now children she whispered.
listen and learn from each other.
You will all get a turn.

Then when we were troubled
she would drop an important meeting
with adult teachers.
I have an urgent need to speak
with one of my students
She said.

I remember once
i said to her Mrs. Chowdhury.
Why should we work so hard?
there are no jobs anymore.

She said softly but firmly
I know you all each and every one of you.
Her sari swished even louder
I knew I had said the wrong thing.

There is a teacher,
a doctor,
a nurse,
a poet,
a craftsman,
a soccer player,
just in this clas,
i can see it,
I Know this.

Then she opened
the old classroom  window.
and the cool spring air
filtered into the chalky room.
The lilac perfumes drifted  into the room.
What is that fragrance class?
It is Lilacs,
Mrs. Chowdhury,
we sang in unison.
Yes, it is lilacs children.
Last year they all died
with the winter storms.
But now they are back
as sweet as ever.

The jobs died with the war.
But they will be back.
You must all learn as much
as you can to take them.
children.
She never lost a single chance
to teach us something.

I get back to the UK
every now and then .
I am a doctor.
perhaps the one she saw
in her class so long ago.

I call in to see her
in her tiny retirement flat
in Manchester.

She pours me a cup of green tea.
Into a delicate china cup.
It is grown in the foothills
of the Himalayas
she whispers
it is picked young.
so fresh so nourishing.
Never losing her chance
to teach me something new.
Now tell me
what new things
have you learned in America .?

Sis.
A story of sibling love.
By
Jude kyrie

Hey honey you're sixteen.
You're almost a woman.
Wow what happened here?
It seemed like just yesterday
You danced out the womb
To bug me your older brother

Can I come with you?
No it's not for kids
Why?
Get your coat then.
You always got your way with me.

Half my clothes were missing
Found in your room.
I like this shirt you said.
These tee shirts are nicer than mine.

Then you were twenty four.
Wow what happened to you.
You're  a Mom honey.
He looks  like just like you
she said.
He just spat up his milk
I replied.
You started looking a bit like mom
But you looked great love.

Then you were thirty
That kid turned into three more
It's bedlam in here honey.
Are you two planning to
Repopulate the earth
all on your own
I love you Sis

At thirty four the divorce
You guys all moved into my house.
Its a good job I was still single Sis.
These kids are noisy.
But your always welcome here love
Always.

Then at forty the hospital.
Hold my hand honey.
I will take you through this.
I said.
You're not going to lose
to that crab sign love.
We are not ready to lose you.
I brought you my favorite shirt
It aways looked better
on you anyway Sis.

Four years later
We visit your grave
On mother's day.

We lost you Sis.
But we still love you.
I got your four kids Sis.
They are getting all grown up.

Angel looks just like you.
You would have been so proud
They are great kids honey.
They call me Dad.
I am not getting any of my own.
I do my best with them.
They keep me busy Sis.

No I never did get married
Don't pretend you didn't know
I was Gay Sis.
I **** well miss you honey.

I gave our shirt to angel
She loves it and won't take it off
See you soon Sis
I love you honey.

Fractured Genders
Jude writing as a woman

I was probably 14.
That awkward age of self-discovery.
For a girl and perhaps also for a boy.
I guess confused.
I guess troubled.

In my daydreams, I always saw myself
as a boy.
A strong virile boy.
Saving  beautiful princesses from
prison towers.
Fighting dragons
With only a sword.
A smaller skinnier version of Xena.

That's when I asked myself the biggie.
Am I a lesbian?
Do I want to be a man.?
I dated and kissed teenage boys.
The more i kissed
The less of a lesbian
i would become right?.

At college, I kissed a girl for the first time.
It was not what I expected.
Her face soft and lipstick was fire red.
She drowned me
with the smell of gardenias.
Where was the stubble
the smell of sweat
The faint taste of stale tobacco.

Then I met him
He was beautiful and toned.
So gentle he made  me cry.
We hit it off right away.
He fixed up the small apartment i had.
He placed flowers in every room.
Washed and ironed my clothes.
For my birthday
he baked me a chocolate cake.

I lay next to him in bed
I wanted to tear his shorts off
But he would not let me.
I am not ready he said softly.

After a while I became
the daydream power  boy again.
Would you rather date boys i asked ?
In an effort to break the ice

He looked at me with his
beautiful gray eyes like ice.
I have never met one
that I like enough, he said softly.
Well do you think we could
find you one together?
My ivory tower prince  needed rescuing.
Well he said softly
I am rather in love
with you right now
If that's ok with you.

That night we made love.
I fell for him so deeply.
And I became the sort of
a power figure in the relationship.

I wore sweats and jeans cargo shorts and
He did not care.
We made love every night.
And I knew we had both
got fractured genders.

But we were in love
And love does not care
about genders or
how differently
it is expressed.

It is just love
And love always
takes
Exactly what it wants
From all of us.

When Love Walks In and takes you for a spin
By
Jude Kyrie

Even when I was a little boy
in grade school.
I knew what love looked like.
She wore glasses
and had two long pigtails
I carried her books everywhere.
She treated me
like her puppy at home.

In high School
I met love again.
Love  was more like a woman now.
But still a little girl inside.
Her softness was forming.
We looked into
each other's eyes
love and I.
Under starry nights,
And prom dances.
I bought love a corsage
Love kissed me for the first time.


In college, love was a grown woman
Full of ideas and opinions.
Love stopped wearing lipstick.
And started calling men *******.
I said to love I am a man --I think
Love took me to her bed
She said not you the others.
And then left me for another guy.

After college.
I married love she was different
She wanted to build a nest.
Where we could raise a family.
We had three kids love and I.
And I got left behind somehow.
I became the father of loves children.
And loves husband and breadwinner.
A bunch of labels.
Love stopped
seeing me as a man.
I nearly died of loneliness


After the divorce
I was  forty-five.
I found love again.
She was older wiser did not fall for
the cries of men easily.
She took no wooden nickels.
But I loved her .
Love said we do ok for retreads.
I told love she was beautiful
Even when her eyes were red
From crying of her lost love.
Then she wept
perhaps once too often.
And love  left me.


It's been awhile since love left.
But I know she is out there somewhere .
sipping coffee in Starbuck's in Seattle
or
Watching the tree light
in Washington's square.
Or
Sunbathing on a beach in LA.

You see when love left me.
I left the door open.
I whispered softly.
Bye Love, thanks
for coming to see me.
Don't be a  stranger love
come back soon
I love it when you are around.

If ever I had a daughter.
I would take her to see a
Wonder woman movie.
And after we watched her
Fly from saving one person
after the other and right all wtongs.

I would tell her that is
not who you are.
You are a Woman that wonders.
Not the saving angel of all lost causes.
You can outstretch your upturned palms.
And catch the sun rays if love
And the bitter rains of loss in your hands.
And you can weep
And it's ok to carry on.
To forgive and forget

To live with what is left
It's called resilience
Its what a spring
from the hardware store does.
When you pull it until
It almost snaps .
but when you let go of it.
It goes back to its original shape.

Life's going to stretch you too honey.
So much at times you too will feel
I am going to snap.
But take a step back my sweetie
And let go of it.
You too will return
to your original shape.

And if love comes calling
You can grasp it with both hands.
And embrace it until it cries out.
It's ok you can do that.

And if it moves on
and leaves you devastated
It's ok to cry at its loss.
To be sad at its leaving you.

But you will go back
to who you are honey.
Return to your own shape.
I know this
and I promise you.

Except you will have
seen something
Something extraordinary
you will know
When you see it again .
For sure you will.

You have seen love
At its very best.
And you will recognise it
right away when you find it again.
you will grasp it with
your beautiful heart.
And say I know you
Your beautiful
You are love.

Written as a woman

**I know you don't think we'll ever part.
But you will ..you will..you will.
You are a tinder box
I am dry kindling.
One day you will strike
And a spark will
burn me down.
Leaving only grey ashes.
You will find another girl.
One whose moods
do not swing with wine and smoke.
Whose eyes are clear and bright.
Not wet and red like mine.
She will not get into hangover rages
You will fall into her gentle softness
and her bed.
And I will return to
waking up in cloudy mornings.
With a lover
that does not even
know my name.

Perhaps we are
married far to long.
The words have all been said?
Have I become the furniture.
Or
Has it become me?
I offer you an apple
For dessert.
It is sweet and ripe
It's juices flow like the
Apple within the garden of Eden.
They will flow down your face
drenched in sweetness.
But you hold it like a stone.
Even as I look to the blue sky.
An ocean for the
white shape shifting
clouds that hold
no rain in their silence.
I see them fascinated
by me in a language
that needs no words.
In their silence
they say everything
I want to say?

I know I stand below the shadow of your beauty
I know the line that awaits your favors is long.
But I stand and  there I remain.
To you in your starry tower
Your loveliness is ordinary.
But to me it floods my heart with grace.

Let your hair fall for me.
As you would for a lover.
Hear the songs that my desperate heart sings.
Ignore my lonely failings for I shall repent them.
To share a moment in your eyes.

Loosen your gossamer gown
As you would for a lover.
Feel the need of my want.
Breathe the fires of my passion.
Take this burning from my heart.

Lie beside me in the moon's light
As you would for a lover.
Feed on me until hunger turns to greed.
Drain the soul from my body.
And take the loneliness from my heart.
As you would for a lover…..
As you would for a lover.

She was ethereal.
So naturally beautiful.
She loved to fix broken things.
A birds wing,
A broken doll,
A China object,
Me.
She found me sad and broken
And she fixed me as good as new.
I loved her beyond everything.
But once I was repaired.
She let me go.
And my heart broke into
A million pieces.
So badly
That it can never
be repaired again

She said I love the gentle rain.
It makes us stop on our walks
And shelter under the maples.

I love. Being in the rain with you..
I feel so close to you he said.
I want to protect you
from the world forever.
As we shelter under the maples.

She looked into his silver grey eyes.
and saw all she wanted in this life.
His strong arms around her.
As they sheltered under the maples

If you had one wish now
What would it be she asked?
I would wish it would
never stop raining.
And we stayed here
like this forever.
He whispered.
As they sheltered under the maples

She found me alone in the darkness.
I had seen her before.
We were not strangers.
He face pale and beautiful.
Her lips red as blood.
She touched my hair
like a mother.
Are you ready she whispered.?
Yes milady I am ready.
I have called upon you many times.
Yet you refused my kiss.
Yes milady, I whispered.
Why?
I was afraid milady.
Are you afraid now old man?
No milady.
Not now.
Then kiss my lips.
I touched my lips to hers.
The pain went with my breath.
And she held me to her breast.
Folded her dark wings
About my frail body.
And we left it behind.
As we flew into the night
far above the dark sky.
Where the sunlight
never ends.

The shadows fall like spiders webs.
The time now an aberration.
Pulling me into dark shadows.
I reach to touch the beauty of youth
But it slips from my fingers as sand
the harder I grip
The faster it flows away.
I do not like this world of shadows
That has forsaken me.
And to whom
I meant so little..