In cold winter my mind is calling
to the Spring.
Sweet apple blossoms are falling
in the Spring.
When fruit trees fortel their story
of future bounty glory.
And the throaty songbirds sing
in the Spring.

Oh! to walk beneath the blossoms
in the spring.
Heady perfumes now are calling
every loving heart to sing.
with cascades of branches falling
the cuckoo bird is lilting
in the spring.

To see a country bride
with her new  husband by her side
her hair in an  apple blossemed crown.
in a joy that only apple blossoms bring
in the spring.

I want to walk about the town
in the spring.
as the fruit trees wear thier crown
in the spring.
To see all the ladies wear
apple blossoms in thier hair.
Apple blossoms everywhere
in the spring.
Oh!
in the spring.

Wind Chimes

A story of lasting love
by
Jude Kyrie

At the end of a hard day’s work in our garden.
Now exhausted and resting in my chair.
Feeling the need to see your smile again
I quietly call your name.
There is no answer of course
you have been in heaven for so long.
The onset of confusion clouds my memory.
Just the jingles of the breeze on the wind chimes
answer my call.
By your chair an open book and your glasses
still remain as if you may return.
My need to see you is now overwhelming.

I seek to find you everywhere in the house.
Then I see you stood under
the large flowering rose arbor.
A basket of flowers cut from the beds
hangs from your arm.
The fading sunlight of evening now
a halo about your long hair.
My eyes mist at the vision.
So sweet so astoundingly beautiful.
So cool like the mist of summer rain
You smile at me.
The wind chimes ****** once again.

You tell me the sweet woodruff is taking over.
The hollyhocks need thinning.
And the wisteria has become overgrown.
You tell me all of these things.
But all I see is your sweet heart of purest gold.

The rose arbor framing the light of my life
Glowing as the sun
at the centre of my small universe.
I long to kneel before you
to pay homage to you.
to say to you I love you darling.
but you fade into the sparkling
remnants of the melting sunlight.
As the wind chimes lilt in the evening air
over the blossoming perfumes
of our gardens bounty.

She did not cry
perhaps that was the odd thing.
I saw the two soldiers at her front door
one wearing a chaplain’s uniform.
Her son was on active duty
in the desert war.
I knew at once
what the bad news would be.

I remember It was late springtime
and all through the days that year
I could see her working
nonstop in her garden.
Trimming transplanting weeding.
until the evening light
faded into darkness.

I have never seen such an abundance
of color and beauty.
Flowers and shrubs everywhere
a complete carpet of fragrant bloom.
The snipping of her
pruning shears never ceasing
like a cicada in August.

Lantern shaped blossoms hung down
from the beautiful flowering trees
like the tears
she herself could not cry.

The dark night takes her deeper
To where no light gets in.
Her eyes a flickering candle
Where all my love has been.
I want to travel with her
I want to travel blind.
For I know I will never find her
If she leaves me far behind.
So I hold her in my embrace
And shout and cry her name.
For I need to feel her near me.
Before she goes again.

Joe
The eldest of us all
He would pick me up after work
And sing to me I was his baby sister

You are my sunshine my only sunshine

I loved him so big and solid so good
I used to hug his neck as he lifted me
Like a feather in his arms
I love you Joe
I love you Sweetie

You make me happy when skies are grey

There was a war in far off  land
I do not understand wars
I just wanted my Joe

You never know dear how much I love you

He went away in a soldiers uniform
I waited at the gate for him every day
Come back Joe I miss you

Please don’t take my sunshine away

Two soldiers came today and talked to mom
She wept and held her head in her hands
At night in my sleep I see you Joe
You lift me up in your strong arms
So safe so loving so sweet
In the distance from a long way away
I hear your voice again Joe

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
when skies are grey

I feel safe again Joe
I know your alright.

She lies beneath the daisies
With whom she shared her name.
She rest now with those daisies
From where her beauty came.
For when the daisies bloom once more
I shall see her smile again.

The old station wagon
Pulls to halt in my driveway.
The five children fall out
of its rusted doors
shouting and laughing.
She turns off the noisy engine.
Slips ghostlike from the drivers seat.
Her five hours of driving
In a bedlam of her children’s noise.
Looking so slight and frail.
My heart melts again.
I enfold her in my arms
And whisper thanks for coming.
Even though I have moaned
About her children’s disruptions.
The extra work cooking
And entertaining.
I look into my sisters face
And whisper I love you Sis.
You are always welcome
In my house.
And in my heart.

wild thunder

She lies before me cradle-bound
You are of my blood not mine
but my sisters child.
I watch your sweet mouth form
milk soured smiles as you move.

I have dreamt of love
but only the love of women
not of this innocence
how could such innocence,
such pure beauty,
be born into this mad world.

with its plots of violence
and subplots of anguish?
the ice cold air in front
of the midsummer storm.
is pouring into the room.

the lace curtains billow like
spinnakers on a sailboat.
the fragile material
trying to protect you.
from the captured
ferocity o f the storm
what awaits you
as the clock ticks
and years roll by

what joys and sweetness
will you be holding
in your hands
what heartbeaks and bruises
will score your soul

the thunder blows apart
the storm clouds
allowing its deluge to fall
leaving me
protective of your sweetness

for unknown reasons
I want to leave you a legacy
hard earned
and marked with my own blood.

I wish for you to remember me
read my story and understand me
and not to leave incomplete
those things that I left undone.

Even in the quietest moments


Sometimes even
in the quietest moments.
I can hear your voice
comforting kind and gentle.

It stirs up memories
of your unconditional love.
Then goes even deeper
to a need that lives in me.

A need to see you again,
to feel your closeness once more.
I know every inflection and
nuance of your sweet voice.

Angels bring me his message.
Angels bring me his love.

For now I understand
there is no silence, no ending.
Only a continuum
of what was once us.

I close my eyes
And I can see you again.
through the mist
of two worlds apart.

Your face so
beautiful to me.
Your kiss
so comforting.

In silent voices
from the quiet
place in my heart
that nobody
but you can fill.
I whisper
I love you honey.

Even in the quietest moments
Sometimes even
in the quietest moments.
I can hear your voice
comforting kind and gentle.

It stirs up memories
of your unconditional love.
Then goes even deeper
to a need that lives in me.

A need to see you again,
to feel your closeness once more.
I know every inflection and
nuance of your sweet voice.

Angels bring me his message.
Angels bring me his love.

For now I understand
there is no silence, no ending.
Only a continuum
of what was once us.

I close my eyes
And I can see you again.
through the mist
of two worlds apart.

Your face so
beautiful to me.
Your kiss
so comforting.

In silent voices
from the quiet
place in my heart
that nobody
but you can fill.
I whisper
I love you honey.

It wont **** You They Said
When you left me
My friends gathered around.
Living without her won’t **** you.
They said.
But what won’t **** me
Aches day and night inside my chest.
What won’t **** me
Has tears running down my face.
What won’t **** me
Fills me with scars that never heal.
What won’t **** me
Makes me hide away from the world
What won’t **** me
Makes me want to **** myself

Don’t take this as a love poem.
I do not care to relive our moments.
Like when I saw you for the first time.
And the songs of angels rang in my heart.

I will never write a love poem for you again.
Like when we sheltered from the spring rain
Below a maple tree in olive greens
And the colour of its leaves
Were the exact colour of your eyes.

I am finished with silly love poems
And will never mention again
How I stop and my heart skips a beat
when I hear a laugh
exactly like yours.
Or see a woman from behind
and her hair is burnished gold
Just like I remember yours.

I am now quiet over you.
In fact I hardly ever think of you anymore.
Except perhaps in blossoming springtime.
But then I should never think of springtime.
For that would surely
break my heart in two.

My Beautiful Fallen Angel

She stood facing
the fading sunlight.
High on a hill
beautiful and serene.
She told me
she was a fallen angel.
And her wings
had been taken away.
She said she would
teach me how to fly one day.
It was a sad
yet beautiful untruth.
She held out her arms
and enfolded me in them.
The beautiful fallen angel
with the sunlit hair
and eyes as blue
as a summer sky.
the only one
who can make
my lonely heart sing

Going Home

The ghost are everywhere.
I see them under trees.
In gardens and ice cream parlors.
Going home after all the passing years
It is a haunted place
Yet it will always be home.
The small English town
Lichen covered stone everywhere.
Even the cobbled streets remain.
Shining wet in the ever present rain.
Between the faded
Old fashioned shops
On either side.
A church clock strikes three.
As children jump from
The school steps
Like a soul returning to heaven.
I see a boy with his scruffy dog.
They are happier than billionaires.
The dog reminds me of my boyhood pet.
A scruffy mongrel running happily
with an even scruffier boy.
It is only another ghost.
But I think it is me

An excerpt from a love story I am too lazy to write

She found him outside her small flat
he was in the bloom of the old lamplight.
she noticed the grey flecks in his beautiful eyes.
Hi!
he whispered
softly like honey falling from a spoon.
She flashed her prettiest smile
And tossed her hair back like she used to.
You look as beautiful as I remember.
She looked at him for some small signal of remorse
but she could not see it.
He wanted her
she felt his need even in the cold night air.
There’s a hole in my existence he said.
His mouth almost smiling.
The smile that had her undress
for him a thousand times.
Why me?
I was never enough before she retorted.
Wanting to hurt him as badly as he had hurt her.
I did not know I loved you
until you were not there he said.
A sadness glowed in his eyes.
And if you remember
it was you that left me.
Why did you leave? He asked
Because you never asked me to stay
she said quietly.
I am asking now he answered.
She let him into her flat
They undressed and made love.
When she awoke she heard
the click of her door as he left her.
She knew her heart would ache
Just as it had before.
And she knew he would be back again.
And she would let him in once more

The inner ciity school was big and noisy.
I remember being scared and overwhelmed.
When I saw her for the first time
a cornucopia of colors In her flowing sari.
She floated no sound of footsteps.
Her skin perfectly brown
oh she was the most beautiful lady
I had ever seen.
I think she loved teaching more than life.
She wld break an adult meetng
to tend to a childs needs.
.Saying we must reschedule
I have a very important
meeting with my student
I must attend to.
she taught us patience and respect.
To listen to each other and to learn
from each person we spoke with.
she brought animals to the school
and introduced us to new species.
Everone wanted to be with her
when she taught us the class was silent
and every swoosh of her sari could be heard.
she stood by the open window of the classroom
Once and said listen can you hear it
I said its just silence Miss
she smiled and said no
it is the most beautiful
sound in the world
it is the sound of learning.
she would ask what new thing we had learned
since last she saw us.
A color a poem a book.
I think I learned how to learn from her.
She basked in her small successes.
Later she told us of the nurses a doctor
schoolteacher author and poet
that had spawned
from her class.
Now when I visit England I always try
to see her in her small retirement flat.
she pours green tea that she says comes from
the foothills of the himalayas still teaching me.
As I recount for her all the new things
I have learned in the years since I saw her last.

I love you man
A Story From Nam

We were seventeen or eighteen in Nam
we became friends forever.
No more than friends.
Soldiers get closer than wives.
We went to sleep saying
I love you man.
We switched letters
For our girlfriends.
In case… well just in case.

The bullets rained
in the clearing that night.
I can still see the tracer lights.
Guys fell down all around me.
Crying everywhere.
Air power cleared them away.

I looked for Joe he was lay there.
I held him close
like a baby as he left us.
His last words
I love you man.
I whispered to him
Not as much
as I love you Man
.
I did not notice I had been hit.
After six months I returned home.
In West Virginia his beautiful girl
Opened the door of a small trailer.
She had a baby boy in her arms.
Her blue eyes welled with tears.
I passed the unopened letter to her.
I lied and said the blood
on it was mine.

She passed the baby
to me to hold
As she read the letter.
I kissed his tiny forehead.
And said see buddy
You’re not dead at all
I love you Man

it was so long ago
I was not much more than a boy.
I noticed her in the office
blonde classy and oh so ****.
in those days I got romantically excited
if a breeze passed by my chinos.
I asked her for a date
to go to the movies she accepted.
then she took me home
to meet her mother the dragon.
her father was dead.
she was possessive of her daughter
and hated me from first glance.
the feelings were mutual.
finally she went out for the evening.
and I was alone with her beautiful daughter.
I got what I wanted and had ***
it was not making love
I did not understand the difference back then.
I lost interest after that
the chase was more exciting than the act.
six weeks later she told me she was pregnant.
back then the only option was marraige.
I got drunk at the wedding
it felt more like a funeral to me.
we had to live with her mother
we had no money.
and her hate for me festered daily.
my new wife would not have ***
with her mother asleep in the next room.
we drifted from each other further each day.
I started going to the pub nightly.
coming home drunk and noisy.
the arguments were loud
and finally her mother threw me out.
my mother would not let me back home.
her down to earth Lancashire upbringing.
you made your own bed lad
now go and lie in it.
I saw my wife in town
we sat in the square and talked.
I thought how beautiful she was
and what a swine I was.
she wanted me back
she said she had always loved me.
I told her I would live in garden shed
before I would go back to her mother's.
we looked around for somewhere to live.
and found a tiny flat more of a rathole really.
but she fixed it up with second hand furniture.
and cans of paint.
we slept in our home for the first time.
we made love not ***
I knew the difference now.
by the time the baby came
we were friends
I think I loved her then.
it took two more years for me
to know I loved her.
we spent the last twenty five years
together and she is my friend
my lover and my companion.
we raised a family together.
and became grandparents  together.
so I did not get a romcom movie
love affair.
but somehow against all odds.
we found a kind of loving.

I was at the last breath of my career.
I flew to London because my daughter
was getting married.
they all hated me because
perhaps I deserved it.
on the flight the flight attendant
caught my eye
I think I have always been attracted
to nice ladies in uniforms
she was English I am Canadian.
but the flight was not busy
so she sat and chatted with me.
I told her about the wedding
she said she did not have children.
except once she was pregnant
but did the smart girl thing.
that's when I noticed a tear form in her eye
when I got off the plane at Heathrow
I felt a napkin in my pocket
on it she placed her number in London.
I got into my hotel
but I was the only one of the wedding group
booked there.
I knew I was not welcome.
At the rehearsal I was ignored.
my ex wife told me not to drink
and embarrass her.
in thirty seconds
I felt more alone than ever.
I called the napkin number.
she remembered me.
we met and shared a drink of wine.
she asked me why I was so sad.
I said it was my fault
I lost them.
she asked if I ever got lonely.
I whispered yes.
she said are you lonely now.
I said yes.

a year later

I am still in England
I play piano bar
in hotels.
we got married a month ago.
so much happier than before.
she had my new granddaughter
we are looking after her
for the night.
my daughter is out for
her anniversary dinner.
my ex said I look happier
than I have ever been.
her husband and I are golf buddies.
and my lady who flies the blue sky's
takes my heart with her
all over the world.
in her in her small
fit in the overhead compartment
suitcase

The First Time

*She was not a fresh faced
honey girl from my class.
Nor a woman who
took money to rid
college boys of their virginity.
She was experienced
and older than me
But lovely.
It did not happen
fumbling in the back of a car.
Or lay in the grass of a meadow
under a moonlit sky.
It was in her small walk up flat
up three flights of dimly lit stairs.
I can still feel my legs weaken
In anticipation of the unknown.
Inside the untidy table
had a full ashtray
A half bottle of red wine.
A Picasso reproduction
Gargoyled from the wall.
She was full of experiences.
That I could only imagine.
She pulls a strip of condoms
from her night table.
The bedroom window
open wide.
The summer breeze
whispered inside.
Hush Hush
It’s your time
It’s your time.
She took me softly.
Gently almost like a dream.
I cried out as my boyhood left me
draining into her
in its irrecoverable loss.
Outside the breeze
had turned to wind
Blowing my uncertainty and doubts
far Into the night.
She was my teacher
and I her avid student.
Later the door closed
as I left her.
Her memory now
Indelibly burned on my soul.

Tyger, tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And, when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the lamb make thee?

Tyger, tyger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Memory Storm

The storm gods thundering power
Is  silence to me as I spend the hour.
In memories lanes I will wander again
Ignoring storm clouds and the rain.

I live again in this stormy hour
Those fleet  winged long passed years
With all the sweetness of joy and woes
Of happy youth and love and tears

I see again the happy friends
We were such a joy filled band.
I warm my soul in their sunshine smiles
And grasp once more a loving hand.

The glorious May time of my life
And autumns crimson rays.
Like a half forgotten tune
Have come and slipped away

I call to them all from my youth
And cry oh where are they?
But as the flowers of the spring.
They are gone and passed away.

Returned and gone to the timeless earth
Who reclaimed them as her own.
And I sit here inside this storm
In memory past so all alone.

In winters night
I hear the sounds
Of memories once
lost now found
The music plays
again in my head.
Yet all the pretty
flowers are dead.
In the frost of night
a cold wind blows.
A leafless branch
It’s sorrow shows.
I wonder if
the dying leaves.
Is why the mighty
oak tree grieves

I stand on the shore of the roaring sea;
And call to my lover she took from me.
All day long she crashes her crest
Against granite rocks without a rest.
He left me to sail the oceans brine
The sea took my love and all that’s mine.
I see his face eyes blue and fair
His loving smile and curls of hair.
All day long she crashes her crest
Against granite rocks without a rest.

two snowmen stood in an empty  field
one said to the other.
that's weird
I can smell carrots too.

A long long time ago way
before digital took over the planet.
My grandfather was an airman in WW2.
He never dropped a single bomb
or even fired a weapon in that war..
He was a bit of a pacifist
live and let live was his way.
Instead he aimed camera lenses
at the Germans snapping their country
on his belly lay on the planes belly.

At the american airbase
in the UK he printed his photographs.
enough to cover an airfield.
He met an English lady in the darkroom.
They printed their photographs together
mixing fixer and developer.
working alongside each other
in the dark.
She got used to his crooked smile and big hands
He got used to her being there.

When the war ended he returned to the states
and opened a camera and photography shop.
He built a darkroom by hand
when it was finished he went back to England
on a cargo ship.
And found the lady from in the darkroom.
he asked her to marry him
and she accepted.

when they returned to New York
he showed her the darkroom he built for them.
On the door was a note in his handwriting
held by a thumbtack
It said I fell in love with you
in the dark.
But I want you to follow the light
with me for the rest of our lives.

A year later my dad was born
with a crooked smile and big hands.
And also his love of photography.
He had the eye for
color and shadow and light.
After I was born I did not follow the
love of photography.
But would get into trouble at school
for writing poems in the margins
of my work books.

I cleared out grandmas house the other day.
I found grandmas note that was
pinned on the darkroom door
she kept it in her souvenir box..
she had passed a way a few weeks ago.
And I was moved to tell this story.

So follow the light Grandma love.
look for a big man with a crooked smile
and big hands hes waiting for you.

The graveyard was melting
in the shadows of nightfall.
Darkness and death
are my fear my kryptonite.
Yet I walked inside the iron gate
creaking like old bones.

I needed to find you
I know you lived here now.
I could feel our friendship
still calling me.
In all the darkness.
I saw a tiny light
a small  flickering flame.
It was on your headstone.
I knew it was yours.
Your mother had lit a candle
for you today.

I knelt down and kissed
the granite headstone
with your name glowing in golden filigree
I did not kneel in prayer
it was too late for that.
Only whispering
“Hello my old friend”
quietly so no other
ghost can hear me.
I tossed on a playlist
from the old days.
And sat down with my best friend
for a chat like always.

Remember we were almost thirteen.
We got detention for refusing to
stop wearing black everything.
and wearing black lipstick?
We knew were special then
more than girlfriends
More than sisters
we were us forever love.

We learned how to drink cheap wine.
Get drunk together and get over hangover.
You taught me to smoke
until I was green and sick.
Remember college we got out of that boring
home town with a single traffic light.
We danced partied and learned ***.
Experimented with drugs it was crazy

I don’t know how we survived.
You were filled with hidden sickness
I was to the brim crazy.
But we did.
We made it.

At twenty two we got better
You moved away and I went home.
I heard you married a woman.
Why did you never tell me you were gay?
I would have married you in a heartbeat.

I called you to get together for a reunion.
Bring your wife I said.
But you were already
starting to leave this world.
I met a friend in coffee shop the other day.
She told me you were gone
I asked gone where?
She looked at the floor just GONE.
So here I am sweetie.

Do you remember anything that day?
Except the sudden chest pain
The lack of oxygen.
Did you remember me?

That’s when my grief came
Like never before.
tears wetting the granite stone.
You know I always have loved you.
And it’s just not the same in crazyville
without you.

As if in answer to me
The moon peeped from behind a cloud.
And shone onto us in a beam.
I kissed her farewell
Whispering I love you honey.
And walked away into the darkness
Of a changed world.

There’s a famous town that does not exist
It’s in new York state in the Catskills.
It is name Agloe.
It’s a paper town.
Put on the map in an insignificant place.
To protect the mapmakers in 1925
from copyright infringement
By unauthorized reproduction of the map.
I followed a map once all the way to
a place that did not exist.
I travelled slowly to it
Mile by mile.
I loved the thought of living there.
I even fell in love with it.
But it turned out to be a paper heart.
Filling a space where the real heart
Should be it had no feelings or love
It was paper just to look like a heart
to outsiders like me.
So after all the tiring journey
to find it.
I found out It never existed.
Just like Agloe
On the old paper map.
But Agloe never
broke anyone’s real heart.

When she threw me out
It was my fault I know.
The drinking had started again.
I slept in the car for days.
Locked out at night.
Yet still I drank
my job was lost.
but not as lost as me.
I remember waking
in the drunk tank.
I was ***** unshaven.
And my eyes were hollow.
She paid my bail.
I saw her through the bars
of the cell.
She was so beautiful.
And so clean and lovely.
She whispered quietly
"I always loved you."
"I still do."
I felt so ***** I needed
a shower and shave.
But living rough is hard.
I quietly said thank you
I love you too.
She touched my cheek
with her finger tips.
Like she used
to touch my skin
when we made love
In our clean bed.
She had tears in her eyes.
As she saw what I had become.
She said softly
You know I lost our son as well.
But tears filled my eyes
as I stumbled away
to that signpost
for the town of oblivion

Crutches

*When you reached for the bottle of *****.
I wish you would have reached for me instead.

I broke a mirror once.
I wanted to see
what was inside it.
Then I glued the broken shards
bach onto the frame.
My reflection was cracked
broken and surreal.
I think the mirror
was showing me a reflection
of what was inside me.

Nam never left me
It was in my hair.
In my skin.
Like chemicals
you can’t wash off.
At night it sits next to me
as I watch TV.
Even in sleep
It is in my nightmares
Always red always fearful.
Even after all these years
From teenager to old man
It sits at the bottom of my
Bed holding my pills.
But I never look into its eyes.

If you really want to love her like I do
by
Jude Kyrie

*She gets a little testy when she is tired
never try to sing her to sleep
with a lullaby she may hit you.
If you buy her flowers.
Never buy her red carnations.
They remind her of funerals.
If you bring her morning tea.
Don’t serve it too hot.
She burned her mouth on
Hot chocolate as a little girl.
But the thing I worry about
most of all.
Is that you may be insincere
and fool her into giving you her heart
causing it break in pieces.
I know how painful that is.
As my heart is still broken
even after all this time
since she left me.

The leaves are falling falling falling
forming excited vermilion gatherings
about the floor of the forest.
The Mighty trees stand
stripped naked in lonely sadness
I tell them don’t be sad
for in the springtime
they will have an abundance
of beautiful new leaves.
But the autumn rain
falls from their branches
like sobbing tears.
They tell me they are mourning
for the beautiful colors they just lost.
and renewal brings no comfort

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me

Stargazer

She saw me looking
at the beautiful night sky.
You seem fascinated
by the stars she mused.
They are more fascinated
by me I said.
We understand each other
the stars and I.
They see me as the one
who makes wishes.
I see them as the stars
who fail to grant them.
People think they are
made of fire and power.
But they are only
made of lost dreams
and unanswered prayers.
Which one is made of your wishes?
she asked.
I show her the brightest star
in the heavens.
It is that one
it burns with my wishes.
They are all about you
Doesn’t that make you a star?

There a spiders web in the corner.
He looks lost and lonely
and has no where to go.
He reminds me of me.

There’s a spiders web in the corner
He never leaves his  home
without a safe thread to climb back on.
He reminds me of me.

There’s a spiders web in the corner
His despair and pain is palpable.
He reminds me of me.

There’s a spiders web in the corner.
And even though I am aracnaphobic.
I cannot **** him.
It would feel too much like suicide.

He said to her after making love.
I want to skydive from a plane.
I want to. Paraglide from a cliff top.
I want to climb a sheer rock face.
I want to take a diving Bell
to the deepest part of the ocean.
She held him close to her
Her softness exquisite and lovely.
She said to him
If you want to do something
that terrifies you to the core.
Why don’t you marry me?

If my eyes flowed with tears
That poured down like the rain.
Would you collect every one
In a lake that’s called pain

Would you trace all the rivers
As they flowed down my cheek
And recite all their poems
That I am too sad to speak.

Would you heal me with kisses
To dry the tears from eye
Would you say to me my pain
Is not your fault please don’t cry.

If I show you my tears
Will you show me your own
Can we hold close together?
To be never alone.

I have wanted you forever
To walk from the mist.
With Moonlight behind you.
Your cape blacker than the night.
I await my heart trembling
Awaiting for your need
And my surrender.
No need for words
No need for tenderness
I await your desires.
My heart no longer covered
I wear it on my breast
Take it it is yours
Take me
For I now belong to you.

She had warned me she was a witch.
but I did not believe in them.
I knew you would
come back to me she purred.
Her eyes green and beautiful.
Like a cats eyes.
the beat of her heart hypnotic.
I melted inside the warmth of her arms.
The music brought me here I said.
It was that first kiss she smiled.
I breathed a love spell  into your mouth
It found its way into your heart
as you slept.
And it’s beauty played music
In your soul.
I kissed her again
Her powers were too great.
I had no defense's from her
nor did I want them.
If I was spellbound
It was where I wanted to be.

Since you left me darling.
I have kissed the lips of others.
Even in their heated passions.
They do not compare
to the slightest
brush of your kiss
upon my lips.

I Want to Be Your Man

If you need a tender lover
I will do all you ever want.
If you’re hungry and need food
I will be your restaurant.
If you want to vent your anger
I will take it all and stand.
If you want a lifetime partner
Here my love, take my hand.
I want to be your man.

Sometimes you cry
Telling me you are not beautiful
enough for me and I may leave you
for another.
My fingertip softly
touches your sweet lips
to hush  them.
I whisper reassurance to you.
Perhaps you cannot see yourself.
Like a butterfly
Who lives its short life.
Never seeing its pretty colors
Or the grace of its wings in flight.
I think perhaps
You are like that.

I thought you were so pretty
When I looked into your eyes
and your lovely  smile beguiled me
In the music of your sighs.

I thought that you were so pretty
When you gazed up at the moon
And the music of the night song
Played softly loves sweet tune.

I thought that you were so pretty
Until I heard the whispers of your pleas
That offered me your undying love.
Then you became beautiful to me.

If your heart has empty places
And no music not even one song
It makes you feel that you are sad
And must’ve done someone wrong.

But having empty places
Means there’s room there for love to grow
And the ones that once abode there
Were meant to come and go.

And all your empty places
Means your life need not be dull
You are free to meet the people
That one day will make it full.

So if you heart has empty places
Just fill it with a song
Perhaps they are only empty waiting
For the right one to come along.

Her currency was heartbeats
She only shopped with time.
She paid for things with seconds
As she waited in a line.

You cannot put heartbeats in a money box.
To save for a rainy day.
You either use them or you lose them
Heartbeat’s are made that way

She would spend heartbeats on strangers
As they shared their troubles and woes
Because kind hearts are worth more than riches
And go much further than money goes.

She would spend a heap of heartbeats on moments
Visiting old and precious friends.
Who wondered how she was so happy
With so little money to spend.

But money only buys possessions
While heartbeats buy much more.
They buy  you friends and love and laughter
And a warm  smile at every door.

It a fact you can’t buy heartbeats
When you have used them they are gone
So spend your heartbeats wisely
For one day you will have none.

Addictions

I wish I was addicted to alcohol
Or drugs
Or prescription pills.
There are programs
and treatment centers
to treat those conditions.
But my addiction
Is incurable
No one can help me.
I am addicted to you
And I know you
will never come back

Prisoner of my upbringing

I remember so long ago now
Being a baby girl and learning.
Every day learning new things.
Life was like a big notebook
ready to filled in like a journal.

At age six
my older  sister
was in front of the bathroom mirror
She pinched her tummy and scowled.
We skipped breakfast
and went to school hungry.

At  age 9
I was on the school bus
Boys were laughing at a nerdy girl
with thick glasses reading schoolbooks.
When I got home I hid all my books.

At Age 13
I went into the girl’s washroom
The mirrors were all taken
by girls in my class putting on makeup.
And talking how boys only liked girls
who looked older and ****.
The next day I unfastened my braids
put on dark red lipstick
and black eye shadow.
Wearing short shorts and a low tank top.

At age 15
I saw my father drunk and angry
He hit my mother, mom wept and said he
didn’t mean it.
he was under a lot of  pressure at work.
The next year I said my boyfriend
didn’t mean it either.
when he hit me.

At Age 20
I looked into the full length mirror
My gaunt starved body looked back at me.
The dead looking lanky blonde hair
and translucent skin looked death like.
The black eye shadow on my eyes
looked like a corpse
The dark red lips seemed out of character.
I shrugged my bony shoulders
And said
Well at least I am normal.

I want to whisper I love you
But that would not feel quiet right
Because I love you
Means we’re falling
And your afraid of heights.