I was content in my delusion
  wanting to love unconditionally
   trusting you completely
    believing in your word

I was ignorant in my bliss
  assuming your commitment was permanent
   dismissing your inconsistencies
    choosing blind faith over healthy skepticism

                   But,

I refuse to abandon my nature
  reject being jaded by despair
   insist on being openhearted
    though now I've learned the risks

*You know...I should really be grateful since
  the truth is that you are a terrible liar
   thanks for the crash course
    hope to hell that I passed

My mother washed potatoes
one by one while my father
went carousing with his
favorite gun; I dragged sticks
through dusty gravel while
I watched it all unravel,
wondering what to make of
such an ugly thing as love.

Maybe this is how they all feel
Waiting for someone to come
Rescue them
Waiting for someone
Anyone to talk to them
While thy wait
They hold on by the pain
Inflicted to their bones

Maybe this is how they feel
So desolate
So alone
So utterly helpless

Maybe this is how they all feel
Every night
On their beds
In the dark
Wishing someone would
Just ring them up
Salvage the pieces they
Tried to hold on

Maybe this is how they all feel
As they start their nightly
Ritual of the Red

This is how they all feel
Alone
Scared
Afraid
Broken
Crushed
Alone

Because this is how I feel

Back in the day
When the rain hit the roof
Pitter-patter didn't seem like much
But along with it came the truth
That nowadays things ain't so right
Nowadays, everything is a might

When you used to tell me
That I was the only one
Your sole source of confidence
All we had was lighthearted fun
But now, now it seems like a joke
A sick and twisted turn of fate
For the worst or the best I don't even know
But all I have now us this disgustingly clean slate
Hanging on a hook like writhing, live bait

you fell in love with
late nights and soft kisses,
holding hands,
phone calls ending in
“i love you more.”

you fell in love with
someone knowing you
as well as you know yourself,
being seen when you
thought you were invisible,
comfortableness

you fell in love with
sparking short fights and
make up “i love you”s,
silent car rides and
quiet understandings

but you did not
fall in love
with me

library books;
     the musty smell floods me with
     thoughts of its past readers
     did a girl like me
     run her finger across this line
     as i have?
     will our lines like vines
     ever intertwine?

rainy nights;
     while the tip-tap and dribble of
     droplets hit my windowsill,
     i imagine gusts of wind
     dancing with one another:
     carless and free
     and without destination

light touches;
     the accidental bump of elbows,
     the awkward entanglement
     of fumbling phalanges,
     a gentle squeeze of the hand,
     a comforting gesture that says
     “i am here.”

now reverie this:
     you and i,
     the spines of our books broken,
          our shoulders barely brushing,
               the sound of soft and subtle raindrops
          all things i adore in one simple
      and seemingly endless moment

books, rain, touches, and you