You said we were like the Sun and the Moon.
And I agreed, as long as I got to be the Moon
But soon I realized that,
with you as the Sun,
I didn't get to see you too often.
I got sick of your company only becoming
time spent passing each other throughout the day.
I got tired of other people falling in love with how beautiful you were;
I was young,
jealous.
People never fell in love with me.

currently i am not

     sad

        depressed

               lonely
  
alone

     self-loathing

             insecure
  
heartbroken

     nor breaking hearts


and that makes me feel quite
    
out of
             
               place
because i am surrounded by
  scars

     and tear-streaked (beautiful) faces

  bruised knees drawn up to chests

     dark empty rooms
  broken mirrors

     and trashcans filled

  with crumpled lists of mistakes
and if i could, 
i would take all the

  scars

    tears

     and lonely nights

from the hearts that are broken
                  
                      or breaking
and i wish i could
 cloak The Light i’ve found

    (or did It find me?)

      around cold shoulders

 and wash all the tired feet

   that’ve been blindly stumbling

      in the dark

we all grew up
differently than we intended
wild and tameless
until we got    
                      here
far from where we started off
but the familiarity still lingers
in old pictures
old faces
who haven't grown with us
those who have only lived to see
the beginning and the present
and the image of you that is expected
becomes shattered
and wiped clean
for you no longer represent those memories

hello, old friend
what was your name again?

you are
frustration because i
always want the last word but
i don't
i want to leave you hanging there
i want you
around my finger
wrapped
around my thumb
hanging
waiting
why aren't you here
wait
i am drowning in these ****** feelings
why can't you just
talk

I chew my nails off
even after a perfect night and day
because in the early sun of the first of this month,
you pushed my hair from my face and whispered,
"Goodmorning," with a smile
and I will miss you
like I will miss scraping my body against a blade
or sliding against a stage
leaving my heart in the spotlight.
Because just like that blade,
one day you will hurt me, I guess,
but you'll be in my dreams
and I'll wish to have you back to calm my shaking hands.