I can’t help but think
Why won’t you care
About anyone but yourself
You have all the options in the world
So why can’t you see it?

Brokenness of the heart
Is an infected wound
It will not heal like a cut or a piercing
The mind and heart become sick off the pain and the mourning

Satisfied
God-
you bring it to a new level
In a way I’ve never experienced
Every inch is like imagination rewritten
My fingers on ur back....
Mouth on yours
Without fail, you bring me to my knees
So
Completely
Overcome

I still stall on your words
And I still love every inch of you
But I can see you disappearing
And it’s breaking my heart

Even though I have you as mine-
Again-
You are as far from Mine
as you ever have been

I have to remember
Not to break people
They are A lot more messy than
Things

And I’ll feel guilty
For all of eternity
For breaking you.

Please don’t hate me
and please don’t just love my body

Either would be
Fine
On any other day

But I’m catching feeling
For you my love

I was doing okay
Then I did the stupid thing
I went to talk to you again

What a waste of care
And love
And time
And effort

Now I’m not okay
And I don’t know if I will be
I’ve never been this anxious before in my entire life

I miss him
I’ve taken to imagining him beside me when I get lonely or really anxious
I don’t talk out loud or anything
But it usually makes me feel better
Or I cry
One or the other

I feel so pathetic right now.
That could just be the drinking.

you had a dream about our first apartment
about the soft glowing light
and the scents made sweet by our love
you had a dream about our future

let's make it a reality.

My numb little shell
I’m trying to tell the truth
I am the bad guy
I know I’m the villain
It bothers me when people try to
Make me feel better
For the ****** things I’ve done
A villain’s actions are not compromised
There are no pathetic attempts of
Following the better path
Only the destruction of the good remains
When you have done evil to another
Accept it
Throw pride away
Quake in fear at what you have caused
And then pick up
And start all over
Even if you have work twice as hard to rebuild

Violence of the mind.

black holes.
they come swallowing everything whole

dripping jaws.
they come tearing at chunks of fresh flesh

war of the mind.
gunshots gouged in blood wet heads
spears stabbing through blood wet sides
knives nestled in blood wet necks

madness-
of the mind.

Come one! Come all!
Come see the sickest sight of all!
this madness of the mind
i see it clear,
when i look in the mirror.

the stars seem to whisper your name tonight
every night the wind reminds me of your touch
the dark dances with me,
just a shadow of you
Morning come
Your phantom has left me
You fall like dust through my fingers
and you are lost till sun sets-
when
once again
i walk with your ghost

i'm so afraid
          that when you leave
                            you'll find your better off
without me

i don't see
i don't hear
i don't know
i don't understand
i don't imagine
i don't create

idontFEEL

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH ME, MY SOULMATE

You have a pen and more than just ink
Let it caress your body
Take your mind far away
and I will wander the starry night
Trailing right behind you
A friend in tow
On your wild adventures
An artist unable to draw
Hoping to capture
A fleeting image
Of their ever changing Wonder
Dance on smoke with me
My dear
And let’s wander the night
Together

No matter how i try
i cannot have

what has already left

i thought i knew you
i guess i never really did
...
can i ever hope

to get to know you again?