I don't want relationships
based on bonds or strings
or things that make me
               tied
                        down
let
        me
                 drown
                                 in
my
            own
                         imaginings.

I don't want friendships
based on falseness or lies
or spies that make me
                  hate
                             love
let
         me
                    suffer
                                   ­ in
my
              own
                              ties.

I don't want a kinship
based on trust and hopes
or jokes that make me
                   smile
                                cry
have
            me
                       hang
                                       on
my
                   own
                                    ropes.

Slipping through dry leaves
you teased me with your forked tongue
not so young
a whole lot  more
older and wiser but no advisor
to deny the hiss as you slid through
holes
and let it come
so much a *****
cleaner and greener but not meaner
to stop future slime slithering here
leaving
skins
at my door.

I have written a lot of things
but it's nowhere near to everything
that I could once do
because of you
I stopped
starting something new
because I didn't believe in anything
but it's not now me that's perishing
and thoughts become few
a conclusion I drew
I swapped.

I don't play ping pong
green with no surface
to bat it back and forth
over a net that I cannot find.
I don't play those games
life with no strings
to say it back and force
white lies and
anonymous things.
I like juggling
*****
so have the decency
to say one day they might
be yours!

She painted a disguise full of colour
grey, green, pink and red.
A mask of flesh to cover
thoughts, bruises, dreams in her bed.  
She laid it carefully on paper
buff
no black text on white
blurry
images
mixing with her head.

It took time to mix and caste
ideas, thoughts, rhymes and tears.
A shield to confront her innermost
magic, demons and heart of fears.
She wrote with a pen on the
left
the left that is left and not your right
early
pictures
where she treads more near.

she usually lets it sit in curls quite
natural,
with no warmth or heat that is so
unnatural,
but he says he will arrive on his feet
contractual,
she straightens and tidy's away the
factual,
and puts things in cupboards to hide
supernatural,
he comes and he goes not noticing the
actual,
woman he came to see is in chaos
collateral.

You did not need to be anyone at all
biological, but safe and warm or
just to put your arms around a child
to heal that pain.

You did not need that cord to be cut
umbilical, but only think and
just to have the feeling that she won't
open the wound again.

You did not need a child: lost and found
miracle, but to hear the voice or
just to witness screaming and dreaming
in vain in vain in vein.

You did have a child that was quite
illogical, but you never come here to
just a life without reasoning
with no pressure no stain.