I may cry
when you pass.
don't be fooled
it's not for you.

It's for the father
I should have had,
the father I deserved.
That's what I'll grieve
not you.

Never you.

What's there to miss?
I can do without you
making me feel awkward,
ignored,
an inconvenience.

Can you understand my view?

There were no cuddles
for me,
no tenderness
or tender words.

I did not even want you
to 'give me away'
on your only daughters
wedding day.
Escaping abroad
escaping feeling ignored.
You lost all rights
to hand me over
to another man
that would protect me.

You never got that right
did you?
Couldn't even protect me
from yourself.

So I sometimes think
about your health,
you, drinking yourself
               to
                    d
                      e
                  ­      a
                          t
                            h­

Not sure how much more
your old and bitter body can take

and I wait* ......

The sun doesn't give a ray
Whether you feel like light or not.
Things need to grow.
To dry. To tan.

And you're just a man.
Your heart is a pebble.  

Darkness comes, but never stays.
These are also days.

The moon doesn't give a beam
Whether you rest with a teary face.
Tides need to rise.
Moth chase. In vain.

The same to them, your pain.
Your heart is a pebble.

The world spins in her own ways.
These are also days.

These are all days,
Yesterdays are frozen in time and
Recorded forever.
To live. To be.

To get to walk around as me.
With a pebble heart.

Another true adventure stays
A part of Life and all Her ways.
I've kissed her mouth,
I've touched her face.
Those were also days.

A whispered
call to prayer
across the pillow
my muezzin
your adhān
awakens me
to the sun
a new day.

I rise and kneel
in worship
in supplication
I hasten to you
my confession
in adoration
I vow, I bow
to please you.

r ~ 6/23/14