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Things I never said yet I meant to
like I'm sorry I love and I need you
but now we hardly talk for there is nothing more to say
I wish I never left why didn't I stay
never keep the true feelings inside
 Sep 2014 ponny jo
Tark Wain
Goodbye
 Sep 2014 ponny jo
Tark Wain
It's not that
I didn't know what I had
It's just that
I never thought I'd lose it
Come and gone, the calm
but the storm is far from over
it lingers in the what-ifs, and taunts
us from the fringes of maybe

This storm, will eventually pass
and the memories of love gone
reborn as odes and psalms
birthing life, from their flowering decay

The poet's capacity to love, rivalled only
by their ability to suffer, but
what a beautiful misery it is! as it lies in wait
for the moment it will flood from pen to page

Laughter and sonnets, will perch on sated lips
after sadness has run its course
and for awhile, all will be well again  
leaving poets to ponder love's mysteries

How ironic it is!
the way lovers leave, repelled
by their hatred of the very thing
that once drew them near

You see, poets are like paintings
beautiful from afar, we are
but flawed strokes on cracked canvas
the closer you come

Yet still, there is beauty in our flawed and fragile array

We are the words within our poetry, but
we are so much more than sweetened syllables
we are everything you wanted once, and you
**never even made it past our cover
A repost I wrote for my bror, Sverre G. Holter after his recent breakup.
On my journey of discovery
I've realized that,  sometimes
the weight of one's words are harder
to bear than one might expect
In our struggle to be different
we force ourselves down pathways
that only lead to conformity

Pawns, with broken minds
trying to heal the symptoms
and not the disease

we tell ourselves, that
we do as we please

Victims of cognitive dissonance

In our efforts to be free
we imprison ourselves
to a job, and narrow avenues
that guide us like cattle
to a single-file slaughter
 Sep 2014 ponny jo
Wednesday
The truth of it is-

he's not going to fix you

she's not going to make you forget
the way your father would hit you

He is not going to make your collarbones sprout roses
He will not make you forget how to need

The truth of it is-

She is not a savior
She is not able to fight off the demons in your dreams

He will not make you forget the way your mother left
The bloodstains in the bathtub will still be there

The truth of it is-
This is your life
This is not a movie

No one is going to swoop in and save you

You will have to grow your own wings if you want to fly away
I find myself picturing you
mascara running down pristine cheeks
the gurgling sounds that escape your lips
serve only as encouragement
to press further, deeper
the soft grip of throat, swallowing
trying to accomodate more
*always more
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