Through my survival eyes
I see the part of the world that keeps me safe
And the part of the world that hurts
And I do not see and I cannot understand where my heart bleeds
And the heart that bleeds on me
The heart that bleeds through me

I let go of my name and I let go of my soul
To be closer to that which is without us
And to be closer to what does not need us
To be closer to what does not want to be understood
To see clearly the beauty that lies not within the answers
But within the wonder of the questions

When I was young
It was all for me

The ideas of my friends
And the thoughts of the old
The things that brought me to my knees
And finally the one that built me up

The love of the perfect
And sooner
And for longer
Their desperate absence

I took on the words of the weak
As they flexed their muscle
And I drank with friends
And talked about this

Now as my eyes do not see as well as I remember
I know what is right
But far better
What is good

Desire is just desire
Lust is only the wanting
And having is for stories
And for those who’ve wanted less

I don’t want to be anything
I don’t want to achieve anything
I don’t want to work and fail
I don’t want to strive to be good
I don’t want to feel bad about being bad
I don’t want to be tired all of the time
I don’t want to be awake when I want to sleep
And I don’t want to try for anything

I just want to be

I want to be asleep
I want to eat
I want to be amused
I want to ****
I want to make love
I want to kiss
I want to slap
I want to raise the hell inside my soul

The darkness fell upon us
And the world bore our weight
We gathered for births
And we gathered for deaths
And all the while in between
We were left alone with escape in our dreams

And deep below in the dark well of life
Where all we see is the sun in the moon
We birthed and created worlds into our own
We saw past and through from where we came
To the end and the beginning
And the moonlight through the cracks

Her eyes were never-ending
And her heart the same
She pulled the life out of me
And she brought me back home

The years were bliss
While the world was on fire
She used her strength
To find mine too

We lived to be old
And our hearts were one
And at the very end
I awoke
And

She was never made

We rush to the wrong
And we speak quickly for evil
Yet the silence that brings
The wine of words
And music and paint
And dance and love
And all that we have
For the world beyond ourselves
Is left behind