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Johnnie Rae Jan 2013
You are,
the wind beneath my wings,
keeping me alive.
Johnnie Rae Jan 2013
Tell me I'm pretty,
just for me to take days to decide,
if you're lying,

Tell me I'm worth it,
just for me to analyze,
all the reasons I do(n't) have to keep trying,

Tell me it'll all get better,
just for me to cry for hours,
wondering when,

Try to change my perspective,
only to fail,
and make it look hopeless ,

Because this,
is what imperfection sounds like,
from a shattered perspective.
Written in art class, after I drew a picture of a mirror, with the word "imperfection" made to look like cracks in the glass. I'm creative.
Johnnie Rae Jan 2013
What is life? Is there a cause? A meaning of some sort? Do we all just wake up to not know whether we live or die? Because that's what it seems like. Do I even matter? Does my life make an impact, on anyone, anything? Or am I just a waste of space, meant to fade into the background and be another nothing..? Was I ever a something ?
In the past 10 minutes, I've faced the questions I never knew I thought about. The worst part is, I don't have an answer. To any of them. Nor do I know if I ever will. My next question is.. Should I just end it now?
Would it even matter? Would anyone care? Would they even realize that I no longer exist? Did I ever really exist? Was I ever loved? If so, what did I miss? Was I ever truly happy? Because I know Im not now.
All these questions I'm asking, I never knew I thought about. But I know now, that they were always in the back of my mind, just waiting to be triggered. Just waiting to come out.
Was waking up this morning even worth it? Yesterday I was happy, yesterday I wanted to see today, but now, I want nothing. I am nothing. I've always been nothing. Right now, I know I'm alive, but, I'm wondering.. What reason do I have to stay that way?
Written 1.19.13.. At one of my lowest points I've been in, in like, forever. But, my wrists remain clean, and I'm better.
Johnnie Rae Jan 2013
Sleep eludes me,
so I stay up all night,
and think,

As time passes,
I begin to examine my wrists,
and discover something quite remarkable,

In the places,
where marks from past mistakes once laid,
now only ivory skin remains,

Now, as I wait for the sun to come up,
it hits me,
scars do fade, just over time.
Proudly written at 3 in the morning!
Johnnie Rae Jan 2013
I had a dream that you could fly,
with clipped wings,

Despite your disadvantage,
you soared effortlessly,

And at heights,
not even the bravest could fathom,

And this my dear,
is why I truly believe,

That you are an angel,
dressed in the devils clothing.
Ehh.
Johnnie Rae Jan 2013
One plus one,
equals two pelvic bones,
working together,

Add the desired amount of force,
and a rising amount of speed,
to reach physical ecstasy.
I always knew I liked math. Hehe.
Johnnie Rae Jan 2013
You look in the mirror,
and hate what stares back at you,
so you throw a fist in blinded rage,
and the glass breaks and cuts you,
but you don't feel a thing past your misery,

You swear again and again,
that you're not worth it,
that you were never anything more than a person,
alone in a crowded room,
with nothing more to look forward to,
than a tear stained pillow case,
and the full moon,

But you're so much more,
so much more than you think you'll ever amount to,
you can be anything if you don't let anyone,
stand in the way,
and one day, you'll find that special someone,
who believes in you,
and you'll fall in love,
and nothing in the world will matter more,

And one day, you'll walk down the aisle,
and from then on be known as bride and groom,
husband and wife,
soul mates,
together until fate seperates you,
and even then you'll still love each other,
just from two different worlds,

So girls,
forget the makeup,
and remember that it's okay to wear your hair up,
and that walking around in sweatpants,
instead of skin tight jeans,
does not under any circumstances make you ugly,

For beauty isn't skin deep,
it's all about what lays underneath the exterior,
hiding from view,
and if a guy doesn't take the time,
to get to know the real you,
then he isn't worth the suffering,
so forget the ones who obsess,
over what's on the outside,
and find someone who'll take the time,
to make you a little less miserable,
and who lives to see you smile.
Because beauty isn't skin deep. It's so much more than being pretty. Because a beautiful girl with an ugly heart is nothing.
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