Dead men tell no lies
And while they're at it
Dead men tell no truths
Soaked in filth and filled with ****
Their bodies tell a story no words can try to speak

On the path to glory
They paint a picture quite the opposite
Or are they mere decorations that are hung?
Either way, once human will has quit
Their ghosts, on individual thrones they sit

i was working day in and day out
to carve out this life we had in our heads
but when your whispers turned into shouts
the worst seemed like the best that i could get

driving in my car thinking about your face
you really could light up the darkest place
when we touch i think the end is close
you bring death, bring life, neither of which we chose
sometimes i think i could die with you
but i know you don't reciprocate
you break me and you dislocate
my bones

Now, I don't know about you
But I know why they play love songs on the radio
Now, I don't know if it's true
But when you're riding down the highway
With the windows down
The air hits your face like water
Waking you up

You say it isn't fair
To expect so much
The way that your hair
Blows in the wind with such
Tenacity makes it hard
To imagine a time
After I've known you
When I can't hold your hand
All I can hope is that I've grown on you
It's unfortunate you see through me & this land

So all that I ask
Is that you don't leave
Had I been given this task
Before I would have not dared to weave
This basket of bone and skin
It just seems sometimes I just can't win

You talk so elegantly with
Your lips parted ever so slightly
You say you know all the tricks
And see the ones up my sleeves
I'm sorry to say
But I must admit
I didn't come to play
And what you're thinking is *******
Just like that you're done & just walk
Now I'm glad my outlines in chalk

Things never seem the same
When you look back from whence you came
Realization hits you like a wheelbarrow full of bricks
This newfound process only worsens your little mental ticks
And then you don't know what to do or who to run to
And your left debating the worth of what they say is true

Living in a constant state of question
Asking yourself: "Do they know what they do only lessens
the quality, and probably quantity, of your years here on Earth?"
Always weighing the pros and cons of your fickle worth
In and out and out and back, your minds changes and warps
Never knowing what to feel and what to just ignore

It's days like these when I wake up
And instantly feel the crushing weight
It's 8 AM and you've already had enough
As though your confidence is many years too late
Thinking and mulling over and over-analyzing
Co-morbid guilt and selfishness can be paralyzing

So you decide to lay down and get in bed
Only you've spent way too much time doing it
The only thing is that your body is pure lead
And you can't figure out the right way to go about it
You talk yourself out of it but it's no use
There is no winning this when you have to settle to lose

Up with the birds
Out with the wind
Through with the confidence
And nothing makes sense
Like the up and up
Careening into the dark
And down, down, down
I'm stranded in the park
Dilapidated and dated (and what's my consolation?)
My brain's been thrown to the sharks

Floating, blue water dyed red
As they cut to the surface
My body is cast-iron lead
Watching as this place
Roars from nil and naught
To somewhere I want to stay
I don't know where to look
Now and again I'm turned on my head
Only now I can read it like a book
When I'm not sunken so deep in my bed

i have nothing to do
with your issues with your father.
i'm just trying to melt glue
but it's hard when it just leaks further.
if you can find it in you
to let it all go.
i can be with you
and everyone'll know
that we came to stop the show.

Run down the valley
Kick your feet through the hills and
Some day you will fly

"I'll come back in the morning,"

I know you've heard that before
I know you don't wanna hear it no more
Acting like talking to me is a chore

And I get it, I really do
But I'm making this promise to you
I'll always be there when you're blue

I feel so basic saying it
But what we have between has always been lit
So close your eyes now, relax with me and take this hit

I'm trying to make it any way I can
I just need you to be there when I land
After I'm done building these castles out of nothing but sand

new york cares
my thoughts laid bare
your penetrating stare
makes me wonder if it all ain't fair

floating through the ocean without a care in the world
just a single glance at you told me you were my girl
there was something inside of us that guided us here
as you're sitting on your towel and caressing a beer
i noticed that spark in your eyes had caused quite a stir
your laugh was as cool and as clear as i've ever heard

so meet me by the ocean tonight
when the edge of town feels just right
when the heavy starts to feel a bit light
when the wings you grew finally take flight

you were the girl smoking cigarettes outside
the girl with nothing to hide
as you moved toward me
in a way that's clear to see
you knew what you were doing
i knew just from the way you were moving

a predatory creature who craves the blood
of innocent people, you've got them in your hand
with one swift blow you could **** ten men
legend has it they were never the same again
so ease up on me when decide to strike
i don't have the reserves to put up much of a fight

I knew what you said
I gave you my all
I should have listened
We knew I would fall
But I gave you my all
I fell for your hair
And the way it fell on you
I guess I was scared
But now I'm just blue

And I'm a fool for you
You never see me through
Written off and back on again
Back when a word you couldnt lend

things look
all twisted and blue-dark
I shook
the trees, I am the circle of sharks
you took
all that you wanted
not what
your whole soul needed
but, but
your conscience is heeded

she stayed by me
she fought for me
she got high with me
in the convertible with me
looking at the stars, you'll see

I've been tripping on myself for too long
Time to get up and start new again
I always knew that I was strong
To her, all my love, I send
I know I was a **** the whole time
And you moved to New Jersey for that job
I acted selfishly and tried to reason my crime
But now what I did and I promise I'll stop

I've been tripping ******* my old girl
Trying to convince her to give me another whirl
But this life really isn't no video game
And she's dead convinced that I'm ******* lame
So now I'm climbing out of this dark hole
Running low so I shovel on some more coal
She's living her own life now
And she's got me wondering how

But it doesn't matter to her
She don't think about me
I don't matter to her
But she still matters to me

We would walk
Down the dim
Moonlit path
Speaking of
Fantasies

Things we wish
For and others
We don't want
Dreaming

Loving each other
With every ounce
Of human flesh
And holy soul

Living for each other
Mending the others
Jagged edges ripped
Apart by that very life

Knowing that somehow
Someway we're going
To love each other
No matter how much
Sticky blood is spilt

Tripping, dripping, falling
Down this calm river
Sitting, wishing, hoping
I can always be your giver
Contemplating, over-thinking, sinking
On my rickety little boat
But I've got hope and hope is what I've always needed the most

I tend to get a little morbid
Forgive me if I say something stupid
Just always know
That I might be irrational
But I'd never take away the gift of breath
I will crawl on even when there's nothing of me left

So take my hand
And always next to me, please stand
Look me in my eyes
And remind me that I've won and you're the grand prize
I tend to forget to forget
Especially after all that I've left

The problem with you is...

You always

                   Always

Love

The
       wrong
                  

Girl.

You can't grasp it too tight.
Don't wander so close to the light.
It'll burn your hands and eyes,
just as the truth clouds all the lies.
So just take one step at a time now,
and please refrain from cowering
beneath the moon tonight.

You've got to take your sweet time.
It's only sour when you force it.
Follow the path you've paved,
and the angels will let you touch it.
The angels will let you feel it.

from ripe to rotten
sitting on a filthy shelf
from remembered to forgotten
praying for some kind of help

mumbling through the forest
tripping on broken branches
stumbling through my brain
ripping up old love letters

when we first laid tired eyes on each other
flowers were blooming like the love in our hearts
they blossomed in the dark
and that was the most beautiful part

we both had enough of the things in our lives
bringing us down without hesitation
but then we were struck by love's invitation
and swept so strongly by that sweet sensation

and now its hard to even put into words
just how grateful i am for your presence
in my life, in my soul and in my heart
and i can't wait for our life together to start

On the outside
I seem
To not even
Try.
To not even
Care.
And I don't
Think I do.
For the most part.

On the inside
Fires rage
And it seems
They burn
Stronger
With each passing
Day.
On the inside
Planets collide
And burst
Like so many grapes
In my stubborn
Grip.
On the inside
I don't know
What the outside
Wants
Or needs.
On the inside
I am a
Lion
Watching carefully
Approaching
Slow...
...ly
Afraid
To pounce
To roar
To talk
The way that
Everyone
Seems prone to.

The lion lays
Down.
He shakes
Droplets of water
From his mane.
Tucks his big, hairy
Head
Between huge
Paws
And never
Ever let's his
Tears
Reflect sunlight.

there is no end to the river of tears
no stopping the onslaught of fears
no end to that which has been seared
no zenith to love which i've been geared
toward

I'm in the business
of killing feelings
like swatting flies
I swipe and slap
and they dance about
effortlessly evading my grasp

i've spent ******* weeks
looking through the new hole
in my ******* head
like finding a new mole
on the skin you thought you shed
like making your downfall your goal

i wanted you forever and ever, babe
going to parties and acting like nothing mattered
i never wanted you never, babe
my love for you was fully formed but now it's shattered

I'm the thick of the night
When you can barely see
And the darkness
Encloses me
When you most afraid
And things seem too tight
I am there
In the thick of the night
So wrap your arms
All around me
And forget what
You're trying to be
Just remember
I'll always be
Right there
Up in a tree
In a corner
Of your mind

I am beyond the womb
I am beyond the tomb
My life after the big and great flood
My life after being dragged through the mud
Where do you go when you have nowhere to go?
Where do you go when nowhere is all you know?

Shifting through space
Never staying in one place
My brain is the same
And my body is just lame
I tried praying to a higher power
Hoping some love, on me, He'd shower
But the emptiness just became more real
And the loneliness became all that I feel

I am not a solid thing
This has haunted me for years
Made of skin and bones, like you
But I just hear cries as everyone else cheers
Nothing ever seems to come to fruition
I'm improving and this pleases me
However, I'm afraid I may have reached my peak
I feel I am now one with the black, it is all I see

Freedom
Taken from you before you see
Truth
Doesn't matter when they disagree
Honesty
They only want you to play the game
Justice
Only served when you're lame

Yesterday I had a conversation with my superior
I told him I believed in the right to privacy
He said "no," and now here I am and there you are
I am left with a lack of rightful clemency
But then again, I'm not owed a thing
In a world where we're all blindly judged
There's a difference between a shout and singing
All I'm hearing now is this deafening ringing

I got lopped in the face and
All I got was this mouthful of blood
Holding my head up high
With my shoes in the mud

Crusty-eyed, like I just rose from a long sleep
Wiping them clean with an old rag
I can see now, but then my ears start to ring
Hoisting myself up, an old and tattered flag

Cracking my neck, my ears clear again
The noise is like a bell calling me home
I take a step and my knees buckle
Take it as it comes like a young Ethan Frome

Standing up straight, my senses intact
For a moment, I ponder the crystal lake before me
Then I strip and I dive and I smile today
For once I was blind, but now I see clearly

it's the human dream
the "isn't what it seems"
the bottom, the underneath
the top and the below the beneath

These walls have so much to say.
Bleeding through the color and the grime.
That sinking feeling when you pray.
Hands clasped, eyes closed tightly.
With tears streaming down your cheeks.
Cumulating in a sick puddle on the floor.
I've been shipwrecked for weeks,
now, at the bottom of my brain.
All I see are these old bloodstains.

In times of duress,
4 AM and I'm stressed.
Backtracking and I guess
all the times that you pressed
me to express something more than ***
made me all too aware of my inadequacies.

Limping down the path with my shoes untied.
What I thought was the way of least resistance
turned out to be a farce, a joke, a big ******* lie.
But now I'm on the mend at the end of the road.
Kicking up dirt and choking on erratic words.
Now is not the time to offer your verbal guidance,
it's not like they're something I've never heard.
In search of something more stable and concrete,
I start to feel them growing - the wings of a big, black bird.

on the floor
wallowing in my own stupidity
i asked for more
but you couldn't burst my big head and rigidity
i am poor
but they say you're rich if you have your health
sipping a coors
and it's the single greatest feeling i've ever felt

(that's not saying much)

Up on a grassy hill
Electricity through my brain
Sky lights up
The crash is deafening

In a valley
Down low, lower
Than I knew I could go
The crash is deafening
The sight is blinding

Disillusioned to the umpteenth degree
Starting your engines as if you can be all you can be
Staring into the hearts of those with none
The darkness drips out of you and it can be fun
Train stations filled to the brim
To the Great City on a ******* whim

Come back around, come sit down
Hear the sound, feel like an emotionless clown
Fists and kicks abound, you flaunt your broken crown

Things seem to be clearing up
Like existential acne, don't get it ****** up
Trust in the formula and you'll swim free
Things are good but what does that mean to me?
Rising from the ashes and your broken back feels tight
These raw wings forming make you think of flying kites
Chemicals swirl and unfurl in your little bird brain
Making you think you've felt the extent of true pain

she doesn't know a thing about a thing but she doesn't pretend to
she dances dumb, can't really sing, but i don't care cause between is glue
she lacks a heart, a brain, a conscience, but it don't matter when we're together
she has no interest in the world around her, but then again nothing lasts forever

To the lost and the
Broken and the hopeless to
The end of the ends.

can't seem to make you mine
cryin' in my bed all the time
cryin' in my head all the time
"I'm cryin'", you said, all the time

nothin' seemed so right
as when we met that night
i could see your face in the dark
you never needed no light

when the facts are shown to be true
the facts are: baby, i love you
but you don't think the same way
blacked out and you're givin' me the blues

i wanna hop in the convertible
and drive down to the beach with you
what we had didn't seem that durable
but when we're getting high in the sun it's true
what they say that when you meet someone
and synapses start firing, you feel the weight
you can't even help but have fun
no matter what our ultimate fate

"i wanna stare at the tears, how they watered yr years..."*

how you laid there and smiled up
up at me, smiling too, while your heart was shut
i didn't get it at first, but now i do
your words trembled and were untrue
never thought i'd live to say i loved
but i did, and now i see from above

what do you know about yourself?
rather; what do you think you know?

characteristics, attributes, talents...
were they ascribed to you
by you?
or by those around you?

do you feel it in your heart?
does your brain tell you they are real?
do you believe it?
do you question it?

have you ever bored a hole
into your own skull
just to see what poured out?
to see what was actually in there?

perhaps someone did you the favor
to spare you of doing it yourself?
the stuff that comes out, however,
is always different when it is done by the hands of another.

How do you tell
If you're
Coming
Or you're
Going?

let me know, before you go
keep it real and seal the deal
sign it with blood while you press my face in the mud

If there is one thing I'm proud of
It is that I can create
I might not be the sharpest knife
But use me and you can relate

School was never easy for me
My parents hardly pushed
That was a good thing though
I've never succeeded when rushed

My brain works in odd ways
I make connections where others don't
The light at the end of the tunnel
Is where I move to when others won't

I tend to think low of myself
For good reasons sometimes
But I know I will come out ahead
For I remix the reason and the rhyme

I also look past things
Where others tend to grasp
Holding my shallow breath
With eyes on the true task

What does lay before me
I will never truly know
But I'm building my barricade
To the sky and it will show

For by the end of the end
When my body is done on this Earthly plane
My soul will live on forever
An old man who needs not a crutch, nor a cane

she's the sky when it's purple and red and pink
she's what i think about when i cant think
just hope that she sees me and she hears this
always thinking i'm owed one last kiss
always hoping you'll give a ****

i know i could've helped you when you needed it
when i was in that black cave, my torch you lit
i should've been there when your tide shifted
should've focused less on getting lifted
you really showed me what i was looking for
you made me feel dumb rich when i was dirt poor

In the Sun
The wind blowing high
You stood next to me
As everyone passed us by
I thought we were on
The same level, hand in hand
But I was wrong
I couldn't  have been more wrong

I never knew
A few words
To hurt so much
When uttered past my lips
You could say I expected such
When you said you couldn't
When you wouldn't repeat
I nearly broke down and weeped
Right there, right by your stone feet

You hold death in your hands
Shaking so much you can barely stand
Gripping the gleaming, black metal
As you think of your broken, trampled petals
You just stood there as you watched them fall
One by one they left you, now there's nothing you can do at all

your hair is a filter
through which your cigarette smoke flows.
your world is off-kilter,
and where you get off, no one knows.
energy moves through you
and you act like it isn't true.
but with just one touch
you heal all my blacks and blues.

the living are
the envy of
the dead

the dead are
the mystery of
the living

the times are
the frustration of
the awakened

the awakened
the enemy of
the sleeping

the sleeping are
the friends of
the powers that be

the powers that be are
the bane of
the entirety

walking through hell with steady legs & a straight face
then i laugh my face off when i realize it's my favorite place
nothing you say can stop me from becoming what i'm going to
been losing forever but i don't mind winning every now and then too
playing the underdog is something i'm quite used to
just like i was everyday when i was kissing you

so baby, just maybe this wasn't a mistake
maybe this grave you dug turns into a lake
a lake of fire and lake of heartache
headaches, stomach aches, it all molded & shaped
who i am but i'm ready to pop like a grape now

every morning the sun
shines high and
bright
and as i rise
lowly and bemused
at the sight
i can't help but
wonder

all the hows
and whys
like all the colors
in the sky
they seem to blend
together
and never make
any sense
until you decide
to make some sense
of your own