John: Favorites

Jan 2013 John

T

i'm hungry       brought on
and eating                    by lack
    your words                     of nutrition
in attempts                                       so i'm
to fill                                            asking you
my empty                                                 as my
lonely self                                        human mother
but those                                                         to chew
words you                                      and regurgitate
spit like                                         something a
mother bird                               little more
do nothing                           satisfying
for my                       something a
screaming aches     little more
and pains           like love

Total work of fiction. If anything, I'm over-fed.

Jan 2013 John

The Love-Letter

Jan 2013 John

Dante Gabriel Rossetti

The Love-Letter

Warmed by her hand and shadowed by her hair
As close she leaned and poured her heart through thee,
Whereof the articulate throbs accompany
The smooth black stream that makes thy whiteness fair,—
Sweet fluttering sheet, even of her breath aware,—
Oh let thy silent song disclose to me
That soul wherewith her lips and eyes agree
Like married music in Love’s answering air.

Fain had I watched her when, at some fond thought,
Her ***** to the writing closelier press’d,
And her breast’s secrets peered into her breast;
When, through eyes raised an instant, her soul sought
My soul, and from the sudden confluence caught
The words that made her love the loveliest.

Jan 2013 John

Cleanliness

Jan 2013 John

Marigold

Cleanliness

Cleanliness being next to Godliness,
Makes our ***** Earth disloyal to its maker.

Jan 2013 John

Ode To A Fucker (Pt2)

Jan 2013 John

Marigold

Ode To A ****** (Pt2)

Do it. Why not?
Let her down, let her fall into endless voids,
Where the sadness is deeper than all the oceans we ever knew.
You, who she picked up so bruised and broken,
Full of sad thoughts and kind smiles,
She needn't be your burden anymore
Leave her to find her own way out
Regardless of who dragged who into whose mess.
And she has been trying;
trying to remember what it was to be happy,
trying to release the heaviness,
offering exits through pierced skin,
swallowing the provided medication.
Sometimes she forgets,
forgets which pill when,
forgets to eat,
forgets to get out of her bed-fortress.
But I can tell you most solemnly,
She never forgets what it was to have you.

Note: Ode to a ****** part 1 has not yet been published.

Jan 2013 John

The Poem I Swore I'd Never Write

Jan 2013 John

ORLA

The Poem I Swore I'd Never Write

I'd faithfully promised
Myself and my friends
That all this was over
And I'd reached the end
Of my fawning and sighing
And tripping cloud nine -
I'd said I was finished
I'd said I was fine.

But I wasn't, you see,
And it all became clear
When I saw you again
For the first time this year:
You stood so **** near me
And smiled so wide
And shouted my name
And I melted inside . . .

I can't turn away now:
You stare so intensely,
You promise tomorrow,
And I love you immensely.
Thus, after the heartache,
The fear and the pain,
I'm back with a vengeance.
I'm back in the game.

Jan 2013 John

Help #2.

Jan 2013 John

Kaylin Martin

Help #2.

I need help.
I'm not the kind of person
to just ask for it flat out.
I hate feeling weak;
but I am breaking inside.
So many parts of myself break away each day.
There's the piece of me that broke off when Mama told me I wasn't good enough.
There's the piece that shattered when Daddy told me that I'm just like my drunk mother.
There's you not calling me back;
there's a bad day at practice..
Whatever it may be;
big or small;
I am breaking.

Help me,
please.

Don't let me get away with saying,
"I'm okay."
Don't just bypass the fact that my wrists are
two different colors;
too much cover up on fresh scars.
Sometimes I just need a hug;
just need to hear the words,
"You are important to me."
So when I go home at night,
I don't pick up the blood stained razor blade on my windowsill.
Someone...
I need help.

Please don't just pretend like you want to help me;
Giving me reassurance for a moment;
For the pain of being alone
when you get tired of
hearing my pointless stories,
seeing me cry,
letting me vent,
will be too much to bear.
Does no one see the pain behind my smile?
The sleepless nights?
Am I really that convincing?

I need help.
These lifeless black letters on a white computer screen that will be viewed by strangers,
proves it.
Someone,
please.

A random circle of venting and thoughts.