Love is a cycle
It starts out young and beautiful
Exciting and new
It deepens into more
It consumes you
It wavers
Is it worth it?
Sometimes it falls flat
You have to work at it
figure out the kinks
give it your all
It can vanish
Leave you feeling empty
Alone
Don’t give up easily
Love is a cycle
You have to work at it

Words sit at the back of my mind.
Lurking.
Forever waiting.
They shape themselves into sentences I want to utter but never can. They take up little moments I have in everyday life.
They swallow me up.
Cover me like a blanket I can never kick off.
Smothering me.
Robbing me of my right to breathe.
But no one sees my underlying deprivation of oxygen.
They don't want to.
No one wants to be responsible for the blue tint of my soul.
They don't wish to resuscitate.
Cause of death?
**Purposeful negligence.

Wake up in the morning streatch and yawn
After last night I didn't think I'd see dawn
I fought my demons all night long
And with morning light nothing can go wrong

With half closed eye's I stumble out of bed
With sleep still heavy in my head
I sway my way to the coffee ***
A brand new day a brand new start
With no idea my world would be torn apart

My cat weaved himself between my legs
He's still there as I cook my eggs
All done cooking I turn and stumble
Right over my cute cat bundle

With hands full of coffe and breakfast
Slamming my head into the table was not expected
Who knew today would be the day
Who knew I'd die this way
I fought my demons all night long
Just to be done in with my cats purring song

Listen !
I know you try surviving
Listen !
I am not surviving
Listen !
You and I can not be apart
Listen !
You love me so do I

Listen ! I plead !!

Come in a way
Give my life back
I plead , stop

Love - Listen !!

There is still a softness here
Hidden along my laugh lines
Occasionally reaching my eyes
Allowing you a glimpse of what could be
Regret. Life taken too soon. Grief.
All of these have hardened me
Where there was lightness sits heavy
Bones of birds now steel
Molded Osmium to once pliable exterior
Replaced constant sun with drifting shadow
Yet all of this is still me, my spirit unchained
Unchanged
To want me is to accept all parts
Regardless of their weight