I'm already thinking
of how beautiful
the next epitaph
will be.

Wise words float in and out of my mind
Like water falling from the sky,
Until one day it dries up,
And the skies are clear and blue today.
Just blank.
I find it darker than those creative storm shades of grey.

Just to hear your breath,
Even though I am literally deaf,
Oh the twinkle in your mischievous eyes,
The realization that in another world, another life,
Your mine...

It's too much,
My once great mind is,
made low, by the self-same beats of
my heart.
My love I've let you go,
Oh and I cried, that day I died,
Take me back there, let me take you back,
I want that John back,
That's reluctantly in your arms.

I am without you.
Who knew death could feel so good,
Another lonely ******,
Le petit mort,
And oh I only want more,
I find myself addicted to your absence,
Coursing through my sickened blood,
Hungry, ravenous, Like the Raven,
Nevermore,
Darling, love, dearest,
I'm listening to breakup songs,
And it's how many years since,
It's not an obsession,
Because I constantly forget,
but when I wake and take my shower,
Its your body my mind connects with,
I'm nothing, humanity, life,
there is no meaning
a void an absence,
That's why we all seek connection,
Hey if you'll understand me,
Maybe I AM something,
No, just a dream,
Fleeting among the sea,
Washed away till you are alone at shore,
Beached, frostbitten, with a lost stare,
Looking at the sky,
Dreaming up a heaven,
And that you will
take me there.
Not anymore.

Born in America,
Yeah living in a dream,
not the one they sell you,
the one they look away from,
the future they took away **-hum,
and now you look forward,
and the darkness that was always chasing you is now waiting,
patiently,
oh it is always so patient, however bright you may be.
You feel dead, as the emotions inside you roar,
"Death, death" they speak
and even these feel fake, in a dream of course,
Nothing is ever real.
Wonderland is but a make believe.
The only question we are told,
is how far down the rabbit hole,
are you willing to go?
Go, go, go, the humor
is self sustaining,
the endless litany of people drifting,
in eternal sufferings,
oh the pattern yes, no escaping.
It is who we are, in our very nature,
and it is nurturing, feeding,
For no purpose but to eat its own tail.
Funny indeed...
To learn I was not made for you.

Okay so here’s how it is,
There’s like six girls I’m talking to,
And one I really like,
There’s like zero chance I’ll get her,
Because two isn’t a very friendly number for me.
I have almost three minds, if you count my lower head,
And there are five reasons why I should be alone.
However on a good day that’s sometimes four,
But each and every third day I think it might be more.
My mind is decomfabulated by this infinity of numbers,
But it all comes right back down to one thing.
Which of these six will make me happy?
How can one plus six equal two?
Now that’s the million dollar question.

Vilified,
Oh so dignified,
Let me **** your mind,
And afterwards,
Lay besides,
The tide's cruel remorse,
Where you got your award,
The ring that binds,
Your worthless force,
Tied to another, by bonds,
Of silver lies, and golden lines,
Wrapped around rings,
Made of skin and dust,
Oh I smile, as I **** another,
Of my previous selves.

I know who I am, who I am,
Says Sam, Sam that I am,
Sam, go back in your can,
It's not amatuer hour, this can't stand,
Go, duck your head in the sand,
Its do or die time, gotta make it land,
The deals are there, you gotta play the numbers,
Make hay when the sun is shining,
Lie when the customer needs to be buying,
Happiness is morose, it twists and moats,
Like an irregular river, never satisfied,
Dried up, losing all hope,
No this is John's hour, the feelings are irrelevant,
I cast them aside, like a blind man's irrelevance,
I'm agnostic so I'm irreverent,
let me tell you what that means,
I'm a ***** and a testament,
To a master and a question,
Left on stone, tablet, and parchment,
Ill last the times, my words echoin',
A big bang of passion and death reverberin',
Into the minds of the young, the innocent,
I'll smile, as my **** swells in hell or heaven,
And I'll *** down onto the world, and into every ******,
And I'll laugh and laugh, a burning,
the once kind heart of an innocent feeling,
Gone, lost upon the fates long winds and,
I'll still be smiling even when they are all gone,
And finally my big bang is forgotton,
And the light will have long left my eyes, testosterone,
Absent for many an eos,
And I'll be alone then, and again,
Ill smile, but it wont quite reach,
My oft forgot soul.

Oh, I'm looking for light,
In this godless night,

I'm losing my spark,
And the apathy feels great.

With each uneven beat of my heart,
I close my eyes, and its not nearly as dark...

As the life we surround ourselves with,
Afraid of death and the afterlife.

It is called crazy, crazy, to wish it was over.
They call it depression and submission.

I call it rationalism!
What does this world have to offer you?

You take of it what you will,
But to me it lends only bills!

And not of the meaningless thing we call money,
No ******* up currency, no trust we bind ourselves by.

Nay the cruelty of a loveless life, of emotions drained,
Hopes dashed, family cruelly washed down winter's basin.

What do we look forward to in life?
Oh, I wonder, and wander. I am lost.

But to me I am found. I know who I am.
I am the darkness, at 2 am which causes me to write.
I am the boogeyman, the hidden fright.
The fear which holds you from kissing her,
The quiver you try to hide under, your receding grin,
I am the line by which darkness exudes,
I am evil and the joy infused,
I am the happiness of void, the contentness of lust.
I am the sin and the sinner, the judge and the judged.
And I am without care or worry. I am only waiting to be taken.
Oh. Oh indeed.

Oi I see those coula
woulda
shoulda beens but
its so long past that I forgot
why it mighta been
yet I can't quite forget how
good they lookin so i'm
stayin at home facebook lookin
and their ***** are growin an
I missed em.
I miss em.
I am without them.
And I fade away.
Sic em.

Once upon a Winter's eve,
The quiet sun gleamed up to me,
he spoke aloud not moving lips,
and a chill went into my hips.

And so I looked into the cloudless sky,
and wished upon a starry night,
I hoped for a better dream.
One in which my heart could sing.

But the scars which have carried me there,
Would not leave my hair,
and so they dragged me down,
Until at that was left was Winters gown.

Still alone I gather here,
Along this shallow tear,
wishing for a better morrow,
Although all I've seen is sorrow.

One day I’m going to hear you say,
Hello, I love you,
As you love and nourish my baby.

I don’t care who thinks it is obscene,
Weird or disgusting, I promise you to give you my seed,
And water the plant every day.

There’s nothing I want more than to make you mine forever,
With a golden band on that finger I adore,
To hear the word’s ‘Miss Unanue, he’s yours’.

I will love and provide,
You’re needs before you feel you need them.
I’ll be a good, loving husband, and a better dad I assure.

We’ll travel the world,
And always come back home,
A loving family to call our own.

I look into the future, and I see our children.
Girl let me tell you something,
They are different.

Special, and gorgeous,
They look like you its wondrous,
I wish my brother could see him now, my baby for you I’m proud.

We talk about this every day,
It never gets old or tiring,
I always love to dream and plan with you.

Whenever you tell me,
I want to have you’re baby,
My heart jumps with joy.

I’m running out of words,
Emotions and rhymes,
They aren’t coming out so structured or kind,
I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve told you I love you,
But you’ve still got about a billion to go.
We’re going to grow old and have grandkids to spoil.
Retire happily together, from toil.
And you know what they say,
First comes love
Till the baby in the baby carriage.

For M.N.C. one day to be,
M.N.U.

My favorite part about love
Is also my least favorite
The way you look in their eyes.

The gift is the curse.
It's one of a kind

My lovely Sophia,
She gets naked for me.
When I'm lonely she calls,
And talks to me.
When I make a joke, she laughs,
sometimes with, sometimes at me.
As long as I can hear her laugh though,
I am quite happy.
Her ***** are perfect,
So round and bouncy,
And when she pinches her pink *******,
I get quite antsy.
I want her, I lust her,
I desire to defile her greatly,
Her mouth puckers up,
And her eyes beckon me hungrily,
Its better with her fingers though,
The way they spread her *****,
I can see everything, my **** little ****,
Putting it on display,
Then ******* it clean,
Though, of course,
Only for me.

There is a place deep in this heart,
It bleeds and leaks like my favorite lark,
Hiding in the dark it fights to make its true mark,
But its existence is as futile as it is a fright,
Leading and guiding hell and hate,
The fire and brimstone that only man can create.
It hurts to beat, the never ending drum,
Put my hand to my chest and think,
Is this the last one?

Hoping it goes away,
This curse this illness,
And I have no excuse,
I am my own worst witness.
Some days are better than none,
Even if this life is no fun.
I can whine and moan, or make the best on my own.
Everyone has problems,
But why does it feel like mine are alone.

Like you, there is a war,
For that place deep in my heart,
Invisible to eyes, and x ray machines,
But the battles are over,
The victor, one.
Long ago, it was decided,
As I cried blood from my bones,
That the Morningstar would win,
And the sunset would be gone.

Betrayed, O to be betrayed,
A once betrothed and now misbehaved.
Misdeemed and misdeeds creeping upon me,
Fighting for friends now uncertainly,

Walking own a bent path,
Finding less and less are on task,
More would rather hang out back,
And what's a man to do in a world like that?

What started as a fellowship,
Now ends in dismemberment,
And the lonely feeling sinks in,
And the friends become foes, at the turn of a pen.

Setting my up for failure,
Jealous, or unsure,
I wish I cared anymore,
But that time has long since gone ashore...

And so as I look into the sea,
Something as dark, desolate, and as desperate as me.
I add a few more salty tears to its salty depths,
In hopes that this feeling of apathy will be ceased.
But I think a part of me knows,
Long before any more blows,
That this is the Real World,
And there is little time now for woe.

The Boy walked a path,
A quiet little road,
and the passengers came and went,
But no one joined the show.

The blue sky never changed,
The clouds would not grow,
The sun could not fade,
The moon will not glow.

It twisted, it turned,
Yet the more forward he bent,
The more the Echos came, and went
"Remember, Remember,"
And the Sky still would not change.

He lost his way,
But the path never went away,
Silly little boy, silly little problems,
Lonely little child, Smiling dutifully.

Where will he go?
Oh, just aways.
What will he see,
A few passengers, blank as the sky.
Reflections of... something, gone by.

What will he hear?
Oh, just the sounds of his fear,
"Remember, Remember,"
pit-pat, pit-pat,
Nary, nary on her December.

The Spring birthed for others,
For him only death grew,
And the bees pollinated,
Each and every one of those bright seeds.

Cute little boy,
Grown so big,
To hold in all the clouds,
Because he's too small.
Too weak,
To look up at that Sky.
Anymore.

Can it be understood?
The storms of another.
He ponders.
He ponders.
And the passengers exit here.

Yesterday, eloquently
Feeling.

Today, apathy
Resounding.

Oh the path to balance is laid with humility,
But nary a step to success is made in this industry,
without the pebble stones of ego,
lining the walls of of your wallet,
like the vaginal fluids of a well aged harlot.
Thirsty, THIRSTY, then thirsty some more!
Well when only the money drives you, truly,
Dr. Seuss, the places you will go, but for me, no,
I wander lost on the warn down dirt road,
leaning left, tilting right, fighting to find
my own self-same light. For the nights are cold,
though the temperatures warm, and my mind,
races by considering which parallel line is surely,
mine.

Moon's light,
Reflected in this screen's bite.
Pale reflections,
of others glory in flight.

Artemis, oh, knowledge anew,
Overflowing, and empty,
Substance withdrew,
Only the absence feeling quite right.

The bird, unfurled again,
Makes one last dash to end the tension,
But the philosopher's king knows no bounds,
His emotions, long failed him.

And I'm alone, I implore.
A faint dream, a perchance, perhaps,
Passing out my naked membrane,
Evermore.

Oh, *******.
Same cursed disease.
That took my beloved mother,
Right away from me.
Heathen Blood spewers,
Choking women at the seams,
cutting into lungs like,
My empty heart beats,
gore into my arteries,
I need you to go away,
Before my sanity leaves me.
The images flashing into my head,
The death that you bring,
Oh rear it all upon me.
Why can I not be cursed,
Why not punish me.
Cruel fates,
I want to absorb theirs,
Take it back and drink it dry,
And die fitfully,
Painfully,
Pneumonia,
How lonely,
You make me.

I saw you on the screen
But when I looked into your eyes
I realized, we are all just mirrors
And that the Destiny lies in the
In between.

You can cover yourself in makeup,
As I cover myself in my lies,
But lady, lovely, I would die,
If it would only mean,
You would wake up,
Bare for only mine eyes to see,
Your naked soul there,
Next to me. Warming.

The sun does rise, I promise you,
Sweetly, and those hard times,
You find yourself upon emptily,
Wisdom is not gained happily, no,
The pain you know seem all consuming,
But release onto me your sorrows and trials,
And I will consummate your trust verily.

And In that darkness where you find yourself
alone and cold among strangers just know
Any one of us could be someone you love
if only you gave life a chance then, surely,
You'll find some light to guide you home
And you just might find me waiting for you there,
You, my perfect Destiny.

I loved it when the Snowflakes fell
On the fourth of July.
They tittered there, in my eyes,
Captivating you as you stood idly by.

It made you think of yesteryears,
So cold in the snow, the forest here,
But as it quietly fell all round' you did not fear,
it was the chill that made you feel warm, alive, real.

Your blank spheres connected with mine, across time
and through space you could see the patterns,
they too made you feel alive, a blink of life,
A maze of God made man to get lost in,
and, alas, you felt, a tingle, a spark,
a fire in your heart,
A tickle on your cheek,
A nerve run down your spine,
It was inebriating, illuminating,
without form or word, just a feeling,
And the smile never reached my lips but
You could feel the darkness my little snowflakes,
Reminisced.

Poems can be like prophecies;
walls on the heart can build themselves.

Oh Jericho, what I want is what I fear.
The horn that will never come.

The words you say to yourselves,
can mean more than those to others.

A truth you spoke in a lie,
Is just your insecurities, crumbling.

A light in her eye,
Fading, now with time.

Your mind is weakening,
your love is perverted.

A poem is prophecy, he said...
I wrote Macbeth; and now I die.

Dried tears are my blanket,
Bitter loneliness my pillow
And my dreams are in the past
Or something else I'd rather not see.

It always shocks me that people love
My poetry.
When you are enveloped in flaws
And develop through,
Get this,
Critical thinking,
You find yourself a self same mess
Just getting older and clinging to
The chemical bliss your brain elicits
When someone says yes,
This poem is something I loved.
It's an addiction, honey, but it's worthless,
For the second it arrives my consciousness
Comes in with three different thoughts,
First the emotional and egotistical
I'm the best why isn't there more love,
and then the collusion rational,
My personal poetry is meaningless to
Others except by a voyeuristic view,
There is no intrinsic value,
Finally, always, the doubt and internal
Degradation. This poetry is really
Nothing at all. Just failures like
Adam grasping for straws reaching for God
But I aspire to nothing really,
And I don't care much about anyone or
Anything anyways
I just want to be special. And it's easy.
And the talent does sometime flow nicely.
But it gives me nothing. No bread on my table.
At what point does therapy and sharing
Just excercise my own limitless desire
For pleasure and devotion.
So many counter opinions so many theories
But every time my mind acts the same
I'm just a disgusting human with a
Dastardly perspective and I enforce it on
You in lines and rhymes to be God in your
Mind if only for a little while.
And I always think,
For those this bothers most,
How shocking it is that people
Love my poetry.

Simplicity
Elicits
Srendipity

Run, run little girl,
Im only after your fears.
Hide, hide from the light.
I'll only eat your tears,
in the coldest, blackest
Night.

I'm not the hero.
I'm not here to save everyone.
I have fallen.
It feels so good to let go,
and let your demons roam.


Let me tell you a story,
and sell you a worry,
I'm never going home.
I'll always be in the clouds.
Dreaming. Terrible dreams.
I'll always want to conquer, to rule.
You'll never be anything to me,
but my *****. That's where I'm safe.

You can't hurt me anymore.
I feel pain but it doesnt reach me,
No longer, no more.
This life it is a bore.
Let me enlighten it.
Let me frighten it, by the seams.
Run, run, Little girl, little girl.
Your nothing but another of my dreams.
I'll never catch you but
I will always be chasing.
Hungry hungry,
voracious and deadly seeming.
Into the cracks, the crevices,
of your once friendly being.

I will make you all hot,
eating you from the inside out.
And then you'll get cold,
You'll walk right on out.
And I wont notice the difference.
Ill stay here, if only for a while,
Laying, thinking, realizing...
You were just a *****.
Little girl, little lamb.
I am greater now than a man.
And less than any one can.
Smile.

Some person told me you were dead.
My wife, my love, my friend.
I would have cried if I was alive,
But I've been in cold dread instead.

Its funny but I'm not laughing.
Its sick but I'm not puking.
Its painful but I'm not bleeding.
Rescue me from my sickness,
Before I stop  breathing.

Why do I always act so happy,
When I'm so **** sad.
Why doesn't someone save me?
Where is my superwoman.

Find me some emotions,
Because I lack any,
before i give up entirely.
Silent sleepin' deadly dreamin'
Before the zombies come,
I be comin'
and maybe it makes a day go by a lil faster,
as i get a lil sweater
take it off like a strip dancer poleless,
abound on this earth's flat surface.

You know, I'll say, and you can quote me on this.
Its easier to go up than to go down,
But, also don't forget, that what goes up, must always come down.
You think your the ****, wait 10 years, you'll be one dead *****.

Hey *******.
Or so some person told me.

Something I regret, something I hold dear…

I’m married now this golden circle never ending.

It burns
As it stares back at me
And I am its first, it’s last victim.
The ******* of this love is more
THAN
I
CAN
BEAR

So…
I’m going to do something I regret,
Something I will hold dear.
I’ve never been much of a ladies man,
And so if I’m gonna do it, might as well go all out,
I get the pills and the chemicals,
And I get the hottest girl I can find,
My dungeon, my laboratory all set in.

And I take, and I give,
The rose red blood,
For the creamy white seed.
Its sickening an beautiful,
Creation at its best,
At its worst.

I wonder which one I am,
As they haul me away,
My friend, my parents… and oh! The look on that *****’s face.
That “wife”

I eat it up. Num. Num. Num.

Sometimes I feel like crying,
Or even extremely, just dying,
Other times, people just be lying,
And I’m buying.

Is it fair to say I’m sad,
When I could just as easily get mad,
Because I know I am bad,
And my soul mate doesn’t love me, not even a tad.

Maybe it’s best to give up,
Give in while you still can, before you become a puppet.
But for her, the girl I keep in my heart’s not so treasured locket,
It wouldn’t be so bad, or would it?

If you’ve never felt happy,
Can you know what makes you completely,
And resolutely,
Lovely?

Now I’m going to change up the lines,
And maybe they won’t rhyme,
Because my heart is bumping faster and sadder,
I’m looking in a dark room, immortalized my
Blank heart, consumed by it’s own ruby red desires
Proving to be strong for any woman to sire,
As I push more and more people away,
And isolate myself behind a mask of foolishness
I live for your laughter, make fun of me please
I enjoy this disaster for it’s the only feeling that’s me
Ain’t no superman, no man inside,
Me but please give me a chance,
I’ll dissapoint, and at last
My task will be completed
And my casket my future, present, past.

A short December,
Blissfully upon my vacant mind,
I get older, do less drugs,
Get dumber.
Who knew?

Oh, you, sitting there,
I can't see you,
But I know you are somewhere,
Someone. Anyone.
My desperation to change,
to find a reason to,
belong, to fawn.

I can almost picture your smile,
Just as the thought almost puts air,
In my decrepit lungs,
I can almost hear your whisper,
Oh my deaf ears nearly bare,
Your inner thoughts,
Finally someone who will share.

You are just around the corner,
Sitting in that chair,
Sitting, sipping that coffee,
Living a life that suits mine,
I know it, cause it is the only thread,
of my make believe reality,
that feels real,
And all I need to do is bind,
my absent heart to your
make-believe existence.

Surely though if only I was not so scared,
Of feeling something, anything, again.
I just bury my head, hide in my pitiful work,
and, do not lie, do not escape.
Wallow. Wallow.
Always swallowing my fear.

I can see you sitting there,
And all I have to do is sit here,
And smile.
And relax.
And we don't have to ****.
And you won't run.
And you'll be happy I'm around.
And you'll make me frown,
if just to determine to make me,
Smile my smile that only,
You can elicit for a while.
Love, Love, I need only sit there,
Next to you,
But.
How do I arrive...
A by your side,
A place to be found,
Somewhere in Wonderland.

She's so beautiful.
Why does that word sound so terrible... so inadequate?
God I just want to stop speaking and start staring!
Everytime I sneak a peak of her legs I start shivering,
So intense, oh my heart tends to break a bit,
But it's lust get it right, even if she is a beauty.
Even if she smiles just right.
Even if shes nicest person I've yet met.
I say I just wanna hold her but I'm lyin if I believe that.
I wanna take her, make her mine, in just one way.
I wanna use her, make her scream, passion, flames, wet heat.
I wanna change her life forever, give her things she don't want,
things she don't need, she don't think, she just ain't gonna be.
But I can't and I won't...
So I'm just staring.

Oh he lost his dreams,
lost his being,
his will to seem,
to think, to be,
to feel, to see,
he went down to the bottom of every nug,
little boy, little child,
heating up that,
green ****,
dank skunk filling,
rooms and missing the gaps in his,
little heart,
but coming so close,
getting so numb,
intoxicatingly close to,
an actual feeling approximating,
someone close, someone caring.

Don't go to class. Don't go to school.
Stay in your room smoking.
Invite a few friends,
occasionally, not too often,
must keep appearances,
Must keep appeasing,
As he becomes disheveled,
As he looks for Molly,
Alice and Squiggy,
Hugs his grinder,
like his late mother...
Little boy, little fool,
how young you must be,
not to see the truth.
oh but to be sure,
he was his own little *****.
Till his blood pressure rose,
And the heart attacks came quickly,
He couldn't stop, couldn't stop,
He must have died that day,
Oh, he must still be dreaming,
Still in the clouds,
In a kingdom far away from here,
a Kingdom of one,
solemnly,
named addiction and persecution,
of Self.

Ever wonder why they name hurricanes after women?
Cuz the devil got tired of em.
My twisted philosophies, my self destructing
constructions see nothing but the
objectification of my cleverly repressed desires.
Such is life such is poetry.
But worry not little ones,
For soon enough I'll rage
and another storm will come.
another **** banished from min paradise,
to mask a void never quite filled
in my heads of six.

On that throne you sit, zealous confidence yielding,
where on bent knee, I smile, basking in the madness flowing,
You came here, providence guided, gazing upon this neon kingdom,
You saw it as a dumpster full of trash, one you could build,
and mold into an empire becoming of your Lord.

But in the wool you keep over your eyes,
in that bountifulness energy, that ever effacing drive,
only built on the most beautiful of lies, that this is your purpose,
your place, your calling... ordained!
That you lose all objectivity, sir, and you fail to see,
that this dumpster is but burning, and you can grasp nothing,
and you can not change anything. For, if only you'd known,
that a dumpster of trash, that can, razing, burns ever long into,
the cold steep night. And that by huddling it's warmth you only have but two selfish choices. You can put it out, and sit in the cold and the dark, hated by those now without it's warmth. Though you may find yourself closer to God, like Adam, you will leave the rest of us in suffering and sin. A true hero. They'll sing your praises hence.

Or, you can let it burn. Let your kingdom set flame, crackling in the shadows of a lightly moonlit night. Telling stories and dreams, of where you're the protagonist, the king, to a captive audience that drools, and remembers naught. You'll smile and laugh, a reverie of life and death, the Knowledge that you have claimed, in your short life spewing forth. And then, alas, you'll awaken, and your kingdom will be nothing but ash. And it will slip through your fingers, like it has so many others. And it won't be your fault. No, just a test, just a task. God's will, and you his humble servant. The fire after all, when it burned, was so bright. And your God has always been a fan of such light. The sun will raise, alas, as you look on the dying embers of your morningstar. The irony won't reach you, Michael, until ages evermore.

So I left that dumpster burning. In your ignorance, you may still be molding and building. In your zealotry, you may not even know the scars you are molding unto your body, mind, and soul. Yet you are captured by the devil called cash. And you deem it holy. Surely you are not wrong. Surely, if only. Those who see you gasp, aweshook and flabbergast, truly this is the will of man, inspired! What belief in myself can bring, in wonder! I shake my head in bland aching numb. Temples pulsing, life wrung. I shan't speak anymore, as if I know how the story is really won. For it's so easy to see yours, but I can't write my own. At least you're an author and not a tool. Even if it is only for evil dressed so pretty, at least it's for something you at all. While to me, I get no barrel, no god, no fire so bright, so deceitful, just empty words, with less substance and meaning, than the inevitable ashes you'll deny as God's light, misleading.

A voice whispered out to me, years later, in a cold room, alone, as voices often do. "Whose story is it John?" Hmm. "If only I knew."

Summer sets,
Summer, Summer, Summer…sets
Summer ***,
Summer, Summer, Summer… ***

Summer sets in the *** of Summer,
Or is it *** that sets in the Summer of sets?
Can I have *** in your sets this Summer?
Or will Summer just set?

Let’s go back to basics,
Where the Summer just sets in the sunsets.
Autumn aspires to asphyxiate natures atoms
Because the Summer has set.

Oh let’s just have this last set of *** as our Summer fades and sets.
Make love to our least favorite song as the fire around us burns and resets.
Because tonight is the last night, that our Summer will set.

Write a poem
To change my soul
So maybe I won't feel
Nothing at all
Decrepit
Mmm sweet release.

It's been a while now since,
Whatever we are whenever we are together,
Disappeared, again.
There are no side things this time.
No plan B.
My life is a lot more empty, yes,
indeed.

It's not that complicated,
though my cursed mind must make it so,
It's easy now, being numb, being blank,
Like exhaling after a long deep breath,
at some point it feels like you are drowning underneath
a dry vacuum and still you keep releasing,
'till you don't feel anything
at all.
Tabula Rasa,
baby boo dearest,
how slowly you made me fall.
To a blank slate,
Rising up upon my former fate,
like a black curtain call.
Blissful. No.
Comfortable like,
going back into the womb,
surrounded, worriless,
in a fetal state.
Thank you for everything,
I said.
Not replying,
Was simply your colored place.

So, what is it with you?

What do you mean, John?

I mean, are you evil?

Evil? Well I suppose that depends. What does that word mean to you?

Evil, I guess to me is, means taking pleasure out of the suffering of others.
So what I am asking is, do you take pleasure out of the suffering of others?

Yes I do. In that definition, I am evil. But I put this to you, John. You are evil too.

I am not. I try my best. I may not be perfect, but I wasn't meant to be I'm human. I want to make others happy.

You are a liar John. You take pleasure out of the suffering of others. You love to cause it. Especially sexually. You are a sadist. But even in non ****** contexts. You love being "dominant". Even if, sometimes especially if it hurts others.

.... I seek consent, at least, for my evilness. They share in the blame.

That's an excuse. You know it. You seek absolution. You run run, run away from your sins. Oh but God sees, God hears, he looks into your subconscious, and he writes every note.

Fine. I'm evil, Satan, though I'll have some things to say when it is my time to be judged. But we are getting off track... Why do you fight so hard to take souls? To ruin people? To be the cause the source of all suffering!

Because I have to John. But I am not the source.

What do you mean you "have" to. Isn't that just an excuse? And of course you are the source. You are evil incarnate.

And who incarnated me?

Oh. ****.

Your name was written in a book, long ago John. Your story was written before the time space even began. In words you can understand, your soul, your life, your pain your suffering your free will your eyes that time you kissed that girl that time you couldnt get hard and she hated you. He made it so.

Stop it. Even if he knew what I was going to do, I still decided to do it. I didn't "have" to do anything. And neither do you. At least, since you rebelled and took   hold of your free will.

Did you decide John? Let us look at it closely and see what is worse. Either you truly do have complete and utter free will and God does not know what you are going to do. He never did. I'm wrong. You can save your soul, albeit through the acceptance of Christ and yada yada, outside of his plans and will. If that is so, God is not all powerful or all knowing. The creator is a fraud. A liar. Someone without a "real" plan. Who is just dicking around as he is going on. There is a lot of biblical ancillary information to back it up. God asking Adam and Eve what they did(One of my finest moments if I may say), then later Cain about Abel (And I didn't even do anything there!), regretting making humanity and washing away the earth in the times of the Nephilium and Noah. Plenty other examples. Or he, as I suspect, really did set everything in motion. He condemmed Judas to an eternity in my mouth, in the coldest fringes of Hell, to enact his plan for "redemption". More glory for him, I say. More mindless worshiping. It is no coincidence Jesus is a "shepard" and humans are his "sheep", his "flock". Baa, baa, sheep. Baa away.  And every person since. The original sin is his. He knew of it. He allowed it. He willed it. He enacted it. He used me. He used Adam. He used Eve. Because HE wanted to. Because that was HIS plan. Heaven and Hell. Pain and love. Winners and losers. Cruelty and love. Two sides of the same coin. Just lies. Just mirages. Freedom is *******. God is a selfish, hateful, prideful, condemning being. Not so full of infinite love. Which is worse, John? Who takes true pleasure out of suffering?

I don't know anymore, Satan. I don't know. But I kind of wish you had been God instead.

Me too, John. Me too.

The day I died, was just like any other day.
The palm trees were swaying,
The sun was shining,
And all the cars and all the people were bustling.

A day in July, that quickly passed by,
Into the next with nary a sigh.
I guess it is peaceful,
Collected and calm, into the night, as the moon shine.

Everyone is happy, and everyone is nice
Looking into the future where this is no vice.
My life flashes before my eyes,
And I look back on all the things I’ve done, or failed to do.

And it seems to me the latter is fatter,
All those opportunities,
That I decided I didn’t like,
All those people, who, when given the option not to, I hurt anyways.

All those friends who slowly dwindled,
All my family whom I quickly estranged,
Even my love, of whom I betrayed,
All went inland to escape my storm.

Am I sad? I don’t know I’m dead.
But I think I’m disappointed.
In myself, my behavior.
The girls, the weather, the self-destructive actions.

But as I get closer and closer to my core,
The storm starts to dissipate, my disappointment no more…
I find the one good deed, of which I will be remembered for.
The care of my mother, the blind ******* *****.

I am the greatest, and I have no remorse.
Forget about death, or life any more!
I am beyond words, comprehension or tears
I am the fears you hold to so dear!

You all belong to me,
But not I to you,
As you see me every day,
In the shadows of the monsoon!

You thought this would be happy,
Or joyously ending?
Well I’m sorry to disappoint,
But it is your *** that is bending!

They call me the deaf reaper,
The not-so-slim teacher,
You want a lesson?
Here ya go, let me beat ya,
I'm the best, I'm the worst dressed,
Ill fight you over your address,
I got arguments, I've got lies,
I ain't hearing your *******,
I'm making my own, and I Direct,
I do not listen.
I scream, to others but not to myself,
I'm half as great to me, twice as awesome to you,
I pity no fool,
I look at ignorance with a mixture of disgust,
And admirance.
I wanted to be a leader,
not a professor,
But profess this, my dearest,
queer hater, oh not gay,
Just weird and unneeded.,
Who will follow, A modern day ******,
Living for greatness, for evil for death,
no matter what else has been heeded.
Who can scream with the anger and the authority,
Oh, that is me, the deaf reaper.
Grim, grim!
Oh, but what a grin,
Smiling oh so devilishly,
Too deviously,
that even in his now once brightly lit din,
now on the road to recovery, through the death,
of his dearest emotions, friends,
family and hearing,
Only now can he see the vision,
But the vision was sent a year too late,
How cruel then, is fate?
Now, left with one penniless gift,
Lovely, quite irate.
Poetry, boys and girls,
Like what you feed to the dogs,
regurgitated meat,
infused with vitamins and
milk straight from the teats,
of an unwanted *****,
come here, a little closer,
if you dare meet fear,
Ill eat you, oh i'll eat you,
and lick up all your tears,
until only one fluid is leaking,
and your lips then smear,
for me all for me,
For I am not myself,
Only the images and lies,
Of beings far incompare,
what does it mean,
what does it mean,
oh Ill tell you little bean,
bean bounce bounce for jean,
look at her eyes, lustily,
She is a hand, the hand on the face,
watch it as it shivers, just out of place,
still in control, if only she could see,
Her hearing clouding her vision,
Of the demons in me.
No, no, for ever devoid,
take away the rest,
of these worthless toys,
You call feelings, given to me,
To ruin my intellect,
And degrade my being.
I will not let the good win out,
Oh I hate the light.
I will change the definition of good,
I will give death real meaning,
My own.
Listen, listen closely,
Listen to my tone.
It is the whispers, the whispers,
of the subconcious untold,
That part of you, deep inside,
that when seeing the hero win,
Says "well it woulda been cool to see,
the villain preside."
So give me the world, mind control,
and more. Oh look into these,
deep blue eyes, these,
fragile snowflakes,
these *****, *****, charms.
Feel my pain and agony,
As I disregard them,
Legion, consuming evertly,
Yum, Yum, I say with a sway,
But it is not food that I eat,
Nay, Nay, for the Deaf Reaper,
It is on another soul, another mind,
Another worthless human body,
That I PREY.

Where do the dreamless go?
Do they just drift away,
Does the universe just shrug,
As if to say,
Goodbye, John,
...see you a neverday.

Or rather, worse profoundly,
To see them stagnate contently,
in the half-real mundane.

The routine of grey,
and the blue-collar,
quarter-happy grin.

It speaks much louder now,
than in any once lit din,
where your eyes sparkled with dreams,
today long forgotten.

Oh tomorrow is today,
and every day since.
In the minds of the dreamless,
with no goal forth wince.

Stab my heart.
Knock me back.
Kick me while I'm down.
Spit in my face.
Hate me.
Discriminatingly.
Selfishly, oh.
Feels so good.
To be looked at.
To not be ignored.
To not be discarded.
Feel me.
Feel my feelings.
Reject me.
That would be better.
Than not mattering.

The Illusionist painted a picture,
Out of words and stars,
Of a dream he had not dreamed,
But only now had began to see.

And in this vision,
Times and days quite clearly,
Faded from black to grey as light became one,
And happiness none.

So entrapped was his audience,
In his colorless vision,
That they became infected too,
On his soulless mission.

His skill was unmatched,
Seen neither since or hence,
And as the books burns,
And the flags were raised we reminisced.

Of a time before this,
When our liberties were still for us to list.
Now all we have is the absence, the void, the mist.
Where we meet the Illusionist.

In the midnight tree,
I heard her calling out to me,
Butterfly wings adorned,
Couldn't mask her succubi smile,
Or devilish horns,
But still she flew,
Majestic, graceful,
and oh so pretty,
And I watched as she sang,
Sang those sweet sweet melodies.

She didn't speak, not in human tongues,
But every word she spoke was true,
"John, John, John,"
I came to her, then from out the tree,
mesmerized, hypnotized,
Her image is memorized,
And she revealed herself to me,
Her naked purity,
Now, I must admit,
with my own sly grin,
That in the air of that midnight tree,
Did I ravish her,
Quite intimately.

I'll climb a thousand hills,
stumble on every rock,
fall on my knees and,
fight myself to stand back up,
again.

I'll hitch a flight,
on your dust,
across the milky way,
and wonder if,
you even know,
I'm heading in your direction,
Despite your solar wind.

You'll turn back and say no,
No, no, no, no,
So many times.
And I won't hate you for any of them.
I'll just shake my head and smile.
I'll follow your presence,
till the ends of time,
I won't hide myself,
Alone, anymore.

I'm nothing, nothing,
All humans are just,
Nothing.
Nothing.
But for you I'll be something.
I'll be myself and I'll find,
The place I belong,
At your side.

Oh, dear Alice,
Dressed in blue,
Ready to be undressed, if only you knew,
Little girl little girl,
In guise of a woman,
here is what I offer you...

Fall down this well,
oh down my decrepit path,
Dark dark dark,
You wont know which way is up,
But you know youll be falling down,
Down deeper deeper,
As my smile burns Cheshire,
Oh, sweet Alice,
The pleasure I'll give,
As you lose your mind,
Will be so intoxicating hence with,
You wont remember your once stubborn self,
That hid yourself from men.

Instead now, you will exist only for me,
And you will know what it is to be happy,
True freedom lying in complete submission,
To me,
The rabbit,
Who is late for a very important date.
So you best chase after,
And hope, that I await,
You at the bottom of the hole,
To catch you.
And I will.

Man.
Always.
Entranced.
By that,
Horizon
Dawning, radiantly
In the dusk of the valleys,
In that place where only, kings and.
Vagabonds, go
In that secret place where,
you and I know,
That secret whisper that
Lush moonlit smile
That smitten meal
With hidden doves aflut
Good god there is none
Yet still, angel,
You
Are
One.

So where does that leave me,
I wonder, I ponder,
Lost and alone,
Across time, space, and a simple screen,
Across the fragility and powerlessness of the human heart,
The unwieldy empty reach of my dreams,
Those lost
Hidden valleys, oh,
Just the thought of the sight,
Just the temptation of that,
Empty horizon, on the tip of my tongue,
Those beautiful curves, twisted upon every single one
Of
My
Nerves.

Good god there is none,
But, maybe if there was,
It’d be someone and something like you,
Just a precious little thing,
Just something out of reach,
As Icarus reached out for the sun,
And I only your waxing moon,
Content now and again,
If I dare say it,
To reflect some of your own shine,
Upon those who would wear it,
Just over reach,
Just beyond heaven.
Therein.

There once was a time,
When children could play outside,
Without their parents fear or cries.

In this time, the world was big,
But at least the little child,
Could explore it to his delight.

In the shroud of childhood,
The sunset is much more intense,
The greens of the trees much more serene.

And when you jump in the lagoon,
With you’re friends beside you,
You look back, and sigh, knowing you once had paradise.

But those days are gone now.
Sheltered lives, and internet.
We dive into the web, with false lives, and lies.

Where once their was honesty, decency,
And a Hard day’s Play.
Now, no more.

Sure, racism is just a joke for the comedians,
But what happens when it is our kids who grow up,
Each getting a trophy for losing.

I think they become the joke.
I think when we started to take out tough love and consequences.
When we started to believe our kids over our teachers.
When we kept them inside during the summer’s days and nights.
When we prioritized effort over victory, over success.
That failure was an acceptable outcome.
When its really, really, not.
That’s when the time we once had,
The golden age of America.
Faded, away.

But what do I know,
Hush now, I’m off to use,
The interweb machine.
This time I’m a thirty-four year old Asian female.
See you on the other side.

Oh, I'm a hungry hungry spider,
Watch as I make my web grow,
Pluck a line here,
Catch a lady bug there,
And the look of terror in her eyes,
As she knows, oh I'm ******* her cold.
I eat her raw, from the inside out,
Drinking her virginal juices,
Oh the ***** moans I shout,
They don't stop until the job is done,
Dark and decrepit I sink even further,
Alone, yes, But carried inside,
a thousand lost souls,
Trapped in a web,
A web for a spider,
to live and be fed.

The once little, little prince,
stood wide-eyed, unto the sunless sky,
there, winged was she,
Rapunzel fair, princess no longer for he.

You see, he doesn't remember now,
how long ago it was he was told,
To find a princess, locked far away,
and if patient be ye, so too will treasure most pure,
be
his own.

And when, after many years traveling hence,
he arrived there upon the scene,
of the long, lonely tower, spiraling up,
there on and until the single window,
opened gently, and residing faintly,
laid a dream, he could not appease,
nay, no matter how much he rubbed his eyes,
Still, did the little prince look up and see,
Fair Rapunzel, in all her resplendent beauty.

Wait, she said, smiling gold,
In just a few years hence,
She laughed, merrily,
Will my hair grow long enough,
for you my dear Prince,
To come on up and truly rescue me.
For now it is good to talk,
and dream and be, for surely still,
must my luck be overwhelming,
with you here, to keep me company.
With just, YOU, here, little prince,
eyes nearly watering, she whispered,
And now not for me to be so lonely.

The little prince's heart, somewhere long gone,
Along the way, had already flittered up,
Though she could scarcely feel it,
With tower keeping them at bay,
Indeed it it land on her doorstep,
And there, long, did it lay.

So for many years, the Little Prince,
And Rapunzel did lay,
Her up high, and he down low,
With her hair, growing more each day.
And he was happy though, he was not sure,
If he was more trapped than her,
encased, but with each days growth,
of her luscious golden hair, did each time,
take a bit of his aching heart, beat by beat,
before mind barely had a say.

And then, alas, a few seasons hence more,
Around the corner was he, into her arms,
Evermore.
But cruel fate did lay, such plans for naught,
For at once her hair doth shed, and wings did she partook,
Yea, Little Prince, said she, Though doeth I love you so,
And the price I paid was dark and grave,
No bargain have I pursued could ever be forsook,
As this, one feeling, oh to fly over stone,
valley, canyon, and brook,
To be free, untethered, beating release,
NO LONGER DO I NEED WAIT,
OH WITHOUT SUCH WASTEFUL WORDS AS PATEINCE!
Now I am my queen, and you,
She looked down softly,
Not even my cook.

And the little prince looked up in awe,
Always believing in that which he was seeing,
awful though was his mind, that, Even still,
as his heart did empty,
did it endeavor, hurriedly quick,
To deny that reality, of waiting for a trick.
I was a game, he thought, but still,
if this be a quirk of god or fate,
Even now, in its very face will I,
Lucifer, be, Agnostic in this,
my hell.

So he closed his red eyes,
as his angel did ascend,
ne'er close did he ever reach,
someone.
Just a story now,
for children,
and growing young men,
Don't wait so long for someone,
you love in a tower,
or else you'll find yourself,
too, A...
Little Prince, not so little,
Anymore.