i swore i would remember you forever and i did
i see you clear as day in my mind as i write this
what i saw in you the first time i saw you still shines
undiminished by the imposition of distance and time
when i saw you stride toward me with your head up
you were glorious
your golden hair was flowing like a molten halo
from the shoulders down you were a vision of male wish fulfilment
perfectly lit
your face radiated
glowing from within
and though those eyes
that smile
were blinding
i couldnt look away if i were trying
all i wanted was to bathe in your glowing presence
of all the women in my past
i always wished you were the last
and that that first kiss had lasted til the present

while your wisdom of crowds
is our rule of the mob
and where you are profound
we are obstinate
when you are always right
and we are always wrong
we're all going to have a problem
moving on

it only takes a step back
from on the attack to see
that a confrontation can be
a coming together
if aside or astride
are the only stands you believe in
youre better sitting it out
on your own
forever

i was just getting started
found my way
after years in the wilderness
many moons wasted
going in circles
suicidal
facing growing indifference
but subsistence was still existence
now with my path laid
a destination at last
on my way to an early grave
i wish i could say
that i got what i wanted

too much pain
for too much time
nothing to gain
from continuing
to live like this
just dont want to die
all thats left for me
uncertainty certainly
until terminal arrives
my only surety
however tortuously
the end is nigh

aim to die old
with the cold
in your bones
so the ground
when it calls
feels like home
or live your life
like the fire
burning brighter
than your funeral pyre
hotter than the heart
of the sun

even the most contrary die
though with a smile on their face
and a fire in their eyes
that burns on