there is a person living in your skin and we can all see it
there is a human animal trapped inside of you and we can all see it
just because you try to do away with the idea that it cannot exist
does not mean it does not

on this day i realized this
on this day

blank stare
balancing on spinal columns
tripwire produced by mitochondria
four million breaks

i have the answers to the world carved into my torso

razorblades broken off in glass
three cigarette burns on my forearm
and five cuts to the neck
proved nothing to me
but only to remind me that
i had finished

in killing all the natives of what i
declared my
homeland
i felt
a lot better
about myself and
everyone else around me

i sat in the forest and tore myself apart
i threw myself a party and then i threw up my dinner
and then i spent the rest of the night in a bathroom i made

entering here, i have
realized that
never will i leave

i strung myself up by the throat between the trees at night
and hoisted myself to final mental victory
this is it
i've done it this time
this is it
and i am sure
there will be no more

imitating sleep
hallucinating underwater
delusions of grandeur
fold into my trachea

at long last
the sun is born
at long last
we can last, again
at long last
we'll try to go to sleep, again, and again, and again

notions are not as smooth without schedule
and proper timing
you will be made to forget all that you should remember
if you do not etch it deeply enough into your forearm

flourish from blood
blossom from vessels
gather materials
walk the land until
it crumbles underneath you