I still don't know if
I've ever "made love"
but if I have
the first time
was definitely with you:

******* on the ***** carpet floor
of your best friend's house
in Tallahassee. we knocked
tattoos against the coffee table
both our knees red
rugburnt from scooting the length
of the living room + hallway.

we moaned into each other's mouths
as our friends passed out drunk
not seven feet away
we tried three positions & your
body told me the last one was your
favorite so we bumped bellies
pulled each other's hair
your chest on my chest
your shoulder blades
drenched in moonlight
small in my careful hands
stars camped in our eyes
you bit my
lip too hard.

I'll never forget the wet way you kissed
my salty forehead as we
climbed connected onto
the couch, but the most vivid
memories from that night
are your legs
still quivering but clenched
ankle locked together at the
***** of my back, & falling asleep
inside you because it
felt like the right thing to do.

i thought

i was more his
than my mother's

as he shouted at me
as i shouted
to him

lost
behind angry.

Twenty or twenty-one. All volunteers. Barely women.
Straight from school in a thousand small towns.
Straight into the mud and blood and madness.
We dragged our dying to their open arms.
Twelve hours shifts; often more. Wreckage of violence.
Round eyes. Smiles that healed. Hearts that broke.
Girls treating boys. Telling the necessary lies.
You're OK. You're fine. You're going home.
Valor danced in their faces. Lips that spoke hope.
Old now or dead. But forever young and alive
in the memories of 150,000 wounded soldiers
they saved and sent back to the world.
   ~mce

What if they hate me
For a good reason
What if it's something
That I can't change

What do I do then

Under bruised skies
in late July
she hoarded electric life
in blue Ball jars

Dandelion dust
twitched across her face
as time
inevitably would

It's a life full of games,
From kicking ***** against your neighbour's walls to fixing heartbreaks and charging mobile phones,
You sit with the populars to feel less alone.

And in this game of life,
You'll sometimes have luck when you roll the dice,
But honestly just keep rolling with whatever may come, cause every blessing in itself is a prize..
You've got friends and family,
Teachers and knowledge that will actually come handy,
And you've got stars in your soul,
& a galaxy of a mind that only you control

So run! Under the summer sun
If you want danger here it comes
Oh I'm no stranger to giving up
But as I grow up,
I've started missing how it felt to be.. wildly young (!)
So i'm gonna use my voice,
As this year I'm turning 19 without a choice
Let's run... If not hand in hand,
run as fast as you can, and leave a trail for me
Oh If you can't fall in love with me
Then I hope you'll fall in love with your life at least,
Cause life's a breeze when you live like you're wildly young

I am a borrower
collecting things that shine
all stashed in cracks and hidey-holes
where the rafters meet the roof
in the basement floorboards
lift one and you'll see
the treasures I've collected
two gorgeous glassy eyes
seven gilded antique buttons
a bouquet of sweetly fragrant lilies
a gleaming jar of pixie dust
three noble barristers
an Irishman netting butterfly dreams
a sorceress of the endless prairie
windmills like soldiers all in a line
the saddest porcelain doll
a small brown bear
trains screaming by on underground rails
a sprinkling of desert blooms
six jack-in-the-boxes so I'm always surprised
the hairless stuffed dog that bit me as a child
a Rickenbacker bass softly riffing the blues
a farmer's Ovation to accompany my woes
seashells that sing the ocean breeze
a merman from the Northern seas
tucked away in every space
packed within each sweet hollow
these simple pleasures I have borrowed