We take this ride in silence.
Not a word,
Not a cough,
Not a single glance.
I wonder why we go visit your mother
When it only ever upsets you,
And I know that for the next three days
I will only hear five or six words from you.
I wonder when this became us:
Sharing everything from bathroom to bed,
Yet as close to strangers as we could be.
I wonder when you stopped smiling,
And if I thought hard could I place a date.
My mind runs back to the day
I bought you that Lewis Carroll book.
You had tears in your eyes,
As you pressed the open pages to your chest
But I had never see you smile brighter.
I wonder why we never mention your father
And why you feel you have to fight so hard
For your mother's approval.
I wonder what happened that night
When you pushed me onto the bed
And started drowning me in cigarette kisses.
But the moment I placed my hands on your frail body
You pushed me away,
"I don't need your help,
I can undress myself."
I wonder what I did
That turned you into a widow
In a bride's body.
I wonder if this Jericho between us
Will ever shatter
If we yell loud enough.
And as we take this ride in silence,
Your body turned away from me,
Staring out the window,
Your eyes slowly closing,
I wonder how much longer we will last.