I am not yet in the country,
But I have seen beauty
In the skies above the sea,
Miles from the borders
That split the earth in two.

The meager plane window
Explodes in gold pigments,
Framed by oceans and jagged,
Deep charcoal clouds
Burnt by the sun's shadow:
An illusory eclipse so large
I mistook it for the Andes.

The plane's asleep
Except for the wide-eyed
And sleep-deprived
Like myself who impart on colors
The novelty of new perspective.

It is so beautiful I rock
My body and head and legs
And want to capture for
The one I loved and left
How I saw the same sun
Painted in startling beauty
That reminds me of her smile.

(Does she think of me
When she sees the sun
And cannot sleep?
Does she wish she could
Show me the wonders
Of her life like I do?)

For now I must alone
Clutch tightly this sight
As my haven while hurtling
Through waking skies
Towards and away
Love and home.

But I have seen beauty
That splits the earth in two.

When through flooded roads we drove,
You passed over a lime green snake.
You missed the piercing glow
Of its body curled up safe.

When through flooded roads we drove,
We passed by the drowning trees.
I told you and I did not flinch,
I told you how you hurt me.

When through flooded roads we drove,
You wished my memories gave proof
Of what I'd seen those rainy nights,
But I held the curled up truth

|content warning for mysophobia|

I scrub away charcoal lifeforms
Rooted into undead surfaces
Which festered while I was away.
I feel sweat bead on my dewey skin
From redemptive exertion
In sterile chemical air
My home is not surrendered
To fungal colonies of neglect.

Fingers against our cheeks
Looking off at what
I know not but I feel safe
Swaddled in body warmth
Newfound intimate constellations
Soft light traces our skin
From the skirt over my lamp
And the overcast window light
Echoed laughter with the nectar
Of the present

Two a.m., a man plays
kaleidoscopic xylophones
in the floral night park.
I feared him moments ago,
but now he shares his art.

|content warnings in notes|

refuge in the maze
i hide within
bushes and brambles

Mother, why did you pursue?
i've seen you stabbed
and bleeding
sweaty crouched within
bushes and brambles
you never made me bleed
why do you make me run?

911 phone calls
hiding in the closet
save me - God!
my annual prayer
intercede

Mother, why did you track me down?
i leave my life and love
behind
abandoned maze
save me - God!

sleeping in your sheets
homes has changed
the waking world
betrays my memories
pleated in my breaths are
cut off silent screams

overlayed with reality
are dreams
chased shoved
falling from family
i hide within
painful realities
as they become my dreams

|content warnings in notes|

I could choose the music,
but a stranger wanted more.

I lost my thoughts in melodies,
and I left my body stored
in the sunlit parking lot
with a man's lustful stare.

I left with him the music,
And kept what's mine to share.